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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules Corporations Can Do Whatever They Want

Supreme Court Rules Corporations Can Do Whatever They Want

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that corporations, especially ones closely held by very rich people, will have no restrictions whatsoever in whatever they do. "We have been heading in this direction for a long time" spoke Chief Justice John Rob...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Justice Advocates Stomping on Dead Puppies

Supreme Court Justice Advocates Stomping on Dead Puppies

WASHINGTON -- In a 5-4 ruling the U.S. Supreme Court established new guidelines for States who execute criminals for capitol crimes. "In view of the reality that there are significant problems with the five methods currently used to execute peop...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

One-upping its recent ruling allowing public prayers before town meetings in Greece, New York, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 to include the Ten Commandments in federal criminal jury instructions. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority, "It d...
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Funny story: "Stand down!" U.S. Supreme Court Tells Chris Hedges, Noam Chomsky, Cornel West

"Stand down!" U.S. Supreme Court Tells Chris Hedges, Noam Chomsky, Cornel West

Nearly two years after Chris Hedges, Noam Chomsky, Cornel West, and others filed suit against President Obama's administration challenging the provision in the National Defense Authorization Act that allows the U.S. military to indefinitely detain pe...
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Funny story: Obama Institutes New "Supremest Court" Which Overturns Supreme Court Ruling Allowing for Unlimited Campaign Contributions, Except as to Democratic Campaigns

Obama Institutes New "Supremest Court" Which Overturns Supreme Court Ruling Allowing for Unlimited Campaign Contributions, Except as to Democratic Campaigns

Buoyed by the phenomenal success of the top-secret federal court that oversees government surveillance, President Obama, in a bold executive move, recently instituted another special court, this one devoted exclusively to the interpretation of campai...
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Funny story: Uptick In Newly Created Religions Sparks Concern From Federal Courts, Law Officials

Uptick In Newly Created Religions Sparks Concern From Federal Courts, Law Officials

WASHINGTON D.C.--Trustworthy sources, anecdotes, and first-hand accounts all point to the same thing: hundreds of new religions have been springing up all over the nation in anticipation of the Supreme Court's decision on the Hobby Lobby suit brought...
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Funny story: Schillings in Major Court Case

Schillings in Major Court Case

Keith Schilling, major player in the "reputation and secrecy" law firm Schillings of London has taken out an injunction against himself. At a restaurant in Kensington last night he inadvertently tipped over a glass of Rothchilds' Chateau Lafite P...
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Funny story: Smart phone patent fight hots up

Smart phone patent fight hots up

The huge patent battle currently being fought between Happle and Samsing reached a dramatic peak as the judge sought in favour of Happle owning rectangles, squares and trapezoids but not wiggly lines or wigwams. Not to be outdone, Samsing immedia...
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Funny story: Erotic art

Erotic art

Erotic art is an excuse, in the form of sketches, paintings, sculptures, and other media, to show naked people, many of whom are depicted as engaging in "erotic" (a codeword for sexual) activities. Although some people try to distinguish between erotic art and pornography, no argument for such a distinction has ever been generally accepted, and most people agree that one person's erotic art is ano...
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Funny story: Supreme Court opens self to lobbyists (from a journalist's personal draft notebook)

Supreme Court opens self to lobbyists (from a journalist's personal draft notebook)

In the wake of the "Citizens United" case, a surprising development (may have) occurred. It appears that a new group of lobbyists has begun to approach the august body occupying the very pinnacle of United States jurisprudence. First suspicions of the new policy may have arisen from the discreet opening of several new offices on K Street in Washington with nondescript names like "Committee For...
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Funny story: Justice Scalia Turning Into Gargamel from "The Smurfs" Before Our Very Eyes

Justice Scalia Turning Into Gargamel from "The Smurfs" Before Our Very Eyes

Longtime conservative United States Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is apparently morphing into a living caricature of Gargamel, the perpetually-plotting yet ever-frustrated hedge wizard slash homeless man antagonist from "The Smurfs." "It'...
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Funny story: Southerners wink, nod at each other

Southerners wink, nod at each other

THE SOUTH--In response to the Supreme Court striking down a key portion of the Civil Rights Act of 1965, requiring certain southern states to seek federal approval before changing voting laws, white Southerners of all ages and backgrounds exchang...
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Funny story: Justice Scalia Gets Knuckles Rapped

Justice Scalia Gets Knuckles Rapped

93 Year-old Sister Maria Inamorata caused a stir today when she halted court proceedings to admonish Justice Antonin Scalia. In the middle of a series of caustic questions the Justice was delivering to a clearly distressed plantiff's lawyer, the d...
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Funny story: German comics union claim damages from the UK

German comics union claim damages from the UK

The German Comedians Union are to bring a case before the European Union claiming defamation by generations of British comedians. In the case they state that for years the British said that their comedy was far superior to German comedy and that Germ...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules Sex Organs Unconstitutional In Determining Sexual Orientation

Supreme Court Rules Sex Organs Unconstitutional In Determining Sexual Orientation

BILLINGSGATE POST - In a 5-4 decision the Supreme Court overturned conventional sex theories held sacred since Adam and Eve discovered each other's interjoining plumbing in the Garden of Eden and ruled sex organs unconstitutional in determining sexua...
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Funny story: Famous Supreme Court Cases

Famous Supreme Court Cases

The Supreme Court will hear arguments for two potentially-landmark cases for gay marriage this week. Here's a look back at some of the pivotal decisions the Court has rendered on in its history. 1857: Perhaps the most criticized ruling of all-time, the court holds in Dred Scott v. Sandford that people of African descent are not actually human beings. Oddly, no black people were even involved in...
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Funny story: Supreme Court to Hear White House Dog Case

Supreme Court to Hear White House Dog Case

Washington DC: The Supreme Court is to hear oral arguments today in the case of Smith Vs Obama. Secret Service Agent Harry Smith, a staunch Republican, alleges that he was a special detail of one person assigned each morning to clean up the East Lawn...
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Funny story: SCOTUS: 2016 Presidential office to be auctioned on eBay

SCOTUS: 2016 Presidential office to be auctioned on eBay

Washington DC - The Supreme Court of the United States of America today ruled by construction that since corporations are people, and money is free speech: dollars are votes. The Chief Justice who wrote the ruling spoke briefly to the largest asse...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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