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Funny satire stories about Suicide Bombers

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Funny story: Jihadist Gets The 72 Virgins That He So Richly Deserves

Jihadist Gets The 72 Virgins That He So Richly Deserves

The Gates To Glory opened wide to accept young Jasheed as he entered the Jihadist Heaven he worked so hard to deserve. His trainers had always indoctrinated him on the wonders that would await him there were he to prove himself to be a true fundamentalist patriot. Now, his mission completed and multiple bodies torn apart by his suicide bomb including his own, he had now come to get his awards.
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda to Hold Membership Drive for Suicide Bombers

Al-Qaeda to Hold Membership Drive for Suicide Bombers

Peshawar, Pakistan The terrorist organization al-Qaeda announced today that they are looking for new members to join the exciting world of suicide bombing. "Every year we have to recruit more people. We are getting down to our last few recruits f...
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Funny story: Suicide bombings on the decline

Suicide bombings on the decline

Muslim "suicide bombers" in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unres...
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Funny story: Kidnapped Grandma forced to rob bank with Bomb. Claims: It was the most fun I have ever had in my Entire Life

Kidnapped Grandma forced to rob bank with Bomb. Claims: It was the most fun I have ever had in my Entire Life

A New Orleans, Louisiana grandma, 67 year old Anna Flakes, joyfully told a group of arresting officers that her experience of having been abducted, fitted with a live bomb and forced to rob a bank was the most fun she has ever had in her entire life.
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Funny story: The promise of 72 virgins less of an incentive for would-be suicide bombers than it was 10 years ago

The promise of 72 virgins less of an incentive for would-be suicide bombers than it was 10 years ago

KRWENY, Iraq--Islamic terror organizations report that the promise of 72 virgins in heaven to every suicide bomber isn't the dangling carrot it was back on September 11, 2001. Due to the wide availability of the Internet in the past decade, would-...
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Funny story: Man 'with cucumber strapped to leg' arrested in Watford 'bomb' siege

Man 'with cucumber strapped to leg' arrested in Watford 'bomb' siege

Watford - Terrified bank customers dialled 999 this morning amid fears a 12-inch cucumber strapped to a man's leg was 'an improvised explosive device'. Police were taking no chances amid FO advice that the deadly vegetable is being used by Al Qaed...
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Funny story: Failed pipe bomber turns himself in

Failed pipe bomber turns himself in

Thames Valley Police this evening disclosed that a suspected anarchist has handed himself in at Reading police station, following a dismal failure to spread murder and mayhem around central London and the home counties. It was announced that the s...
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Funny story: Female suicide Bombers to get 72 virgins

Female suicide Bombers to get 72 virgins

A long-held belief of male suicide bombers has been that they will get 72 pristine teenage virgins if they die during an act of "Holy Jihad". Now, in a move that will shock many, controversial Imam, Mustapha Fatwa, has announced that female martyrs w...
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Funny story: Dead Suicide Terrorist Upset That 72 Virgins Are All Refurbished

Dead Suicide Terrorist Upset That 72 Virgins Are All Refurbished

Dead Afghan suicide terrorist, Oh No Mohammed, was disappointed to find out that his seventy two virgins reward for dying for Allah were all refurbished with non-human parts. Needless to say, he is really, really pissed. "I cannot believe this!"...
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Funny story: Pope encourages suicide bombings

Pope encourages suicide bombings

Today, the Pope controversially spoke of his desire to see Christian suicide bombers. In a speech to followers in London, he said "Those Muslims are getting all the attention by blowing themselves up. We Christians are being marginalised. The medi...
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Funny story: Stupid NYC Suicide Bomber's Fake Snoopy Blimp Blows Prematurely

Stupid NYC Suicide Bomber's Fake Snoopy Blimp Blows Prematurely

George Peay, also know as Habib Dibob, had everything worked out but the wind as he had built his own blimp and had some kid paint a big Snoopy on the side of it. His goal? Who knows but he was definitely determined to blow up something in New...
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Funny story: Suicide bomber sues Allah because he "only got 71 virgins in the after life"

Suicide bomber sues Allah because he "only got 71 virgins in the after life"

BEWARE THIS ARTICLE IS SO OFFENSIVE THAT EVEN THE AUTHOR ADVISES YOU NOT TO READ IT Al Qaeda extremist Mohammed Iqbal Yusuf, who died after detonating a suicide bomb last week in Pakistan, has said that he intends to sue Allah after discovering th...
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Funny story: Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

The entire graduation student population was nearly lost when fifty-three were killed and six injured during the commencement ceremonies at an over-seas junior college. The graduation class had just finished the ritual of throwing up their caps, when...
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Funny story: Suicide Bomber says no Virgins in after life

Suicide Bomber says no Virgins in after life

A suicide bomber was miraculously brought back from the brink of death today after his left arm right leg and penis where blown to bits. In his first interview after his near death experience, he stated that he was ready and looking forward to dy...
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Funny story: Moscow suicide booby bombers: Mossad suspected

Moscow suicide booby bombers: Mossad suspected

Moscow - (Booby Traps): Mossad's Dubai hit squad is suspected of being behind the specialist Thought Police brainwashing division that trained today's Moscow Metro terror attackers. Two heavily burkhaed 'Jihad Janes' were caught on CCTV seconds be...
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Funny story: Suicide Bombers threat of Strike Action

Suicide Bombers threat of Strike Action

Terrorist suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.
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Funny story: PM Blames Petrol Prices on Suicide Bombers

PM Blames Petrol Prices on Suicide Bombers

Barak Obama and Gordon Brown, today in a joint statement announced that petrol prices were set to rise again due to those pesky suicide bombers. Blaming those flammable bomber characters around the world for a hugely volatile petroleum market. At...
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Funny story: "Does My Bomb Look Big In This?"

"Does My Bomb Look Big In This?"

Al Quaeda has trained non-Arabic female terrorists to carry out attacks in the west. The news has been released by MI5 leaders in a bid to maintain vigilance. The women are thought to be 'clean skins'. Women notoriously take several hours to get r...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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