A New Orleans, Louisiana grandma, 67 year old Anna Flakes, joyfully told a group of arresting officers that her experience of having been abducted, fitted with a live bomb and forced to rob a bank was the most fun she has ever had in her entire life.
KRWENY, Iraq--Islamic terror organizations report that the promise of 72 virgins in heaven to every suicide bomber isn't the dangling carrot it was back on September 11, 2001.
Due to the wide availability of the Internet in the past decade, would-...
Watford - Terrified bank customers dialled 999 this morning amid fears a 12-inch cucumber strapped to a man's leg was 'an improvised explosive device'.
Police were taking no chances amid FO advice that the deadly vegetable is being used by Al Qaed...
Thames Valley Police this evening disclosed that a suspected anarchist has handed himself in at Reading police station, following a dismal failure to spread murder and mayhem around central London and the home counties.
It was announced that the s...
A long-held belief of male suicide bombers has been that they will get 72 pristine teenage virgins if they die during an act of "Holy Jihad". Now, in a move that will shock many, controversial Imam, Mustapha Fatwa, has announced that female martyrs w...
Dead Afghan suicide terrorist, Oh No Mohammed, was disappointed to find out that his seventy two virgins reward for dying for Allah were all refurbished with non-human parts. Needless to say, he is really, really pissed.
"I cannot believe this!"...
Today, the Pope controversially spoke of his desire to see Christian suicide bombers.
In a speech to followers in London, he said "Those Muslims are getting all the attention by blowing themselves up. We Christians are being marginalised. The medi...
George Peay, also know as Habib Dibob, had everything worked out but the wind as he had built his own blimp and had some kid paint a big Snoopy on the side of it.
His goal?
Who knows but he was definitely determined to blow up something in New...
BEWARE THIS ARTICLE IS SO OFFENSIVE THAT EVEN THE AUTHOR ADVISES YOU NOT TO READ IT
Al Qaeda extremist Mohammed Iqbal Yusuf, who died after detonating a suicide bomb last week in Pakistan, has said that he intends to sue Allah after discovering th...
The entire graduation student population was nearly lost when fifty-three were killed and six injured during the commencement ceremonies at an over-seas junior college. The graduation class had just finished the ritual of throwing up their caps, when...
A suicide bomber was miraculously brought back from the brink of death today after his left arm right leg and penis where blown to bits.
In his first interview after his near death experience, he stated that he was ready and looking forward to dy...
Moscow - (Booby Traps): Mossad's Dubai hit squad is suspected of being behind the specialist Thought Police brainwashing division that trained today's Moscow Metro terror attackers.
Two heavily burkhaed 'Jihad Janes' were caught on CCTV seconds be...
Terrorist suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.
Barak Obama and Gordon Brown, today in a joint statement announced that petrol prices were set to rise again due to those pesky suicide bombers.
Blaming those flammable bomber characters around the world for a hugely volatile petroleum market. At...
Al Quaeda has trained non-Arabic female terrorists to carry out attacks in the west. The news has been released by MI5 leaders in a bid to maintain vigilance.
The women are thought to be 'clean skins'. Women notoriously take several hours to get r...
Potential suicide bomber Ali Von Bastard was stopped dead in his tracks today by his mom as he set out to wreak havoc on the world.
"And where do you think you're going dressed like that?" Mrs Von Bastard called from the kitchen as she prepared du...
When budding Jihadi Mohammed al Pointlessrage ben Easilyled heard and understood the call to Jihad, he found the truth of his life revealed.
Born into a seventh century culture in a barren desert, he was taught from birth that pleasure was unclean...
Potential jizz bomber Fred 'the Ted' Holden was arrested this morning on Cambridge Heath Road in London, by Bethnal Green tube station.
Holden was suspected of undermining National Breast Appreciation Day by planting jizz bombs wherever bare breas...