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Funny story: The NeoMetro - May 2014

The NeoMetro - May 2014

Greetings and saturations to all my fellow urban blighters out there! This edition gets down to the wonderfully nitty slitty with a new brick and mortar outlet in the most graffiti-ridden burrough with items you just cannot miss! Down on the corner of 172nd and Huffslough, Dunkin' White, head of the local chapter of Decay International, has finally opened the iron bars to his little hell-spot a...
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Funny story: Times Square Rocked by Woman's Act of Walking Up Fully Functioning Escalator

Times Square Rocked by Woman's Act of Walking Up Fully Functioning Escalator

Yesterday morning during rush hour, New Yorkers in Times Square subway station panicked when svelte middle-aged Brooklynite Bernice Shaw walked up the entire 20-plus steps of a fully functioning escalator. Many (literal) bystanders immediately used t...
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Funny story: Michelle Obummer: her daughters are "picky eaters"

Michelle Obummer: her daughters are "picky eaters"

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- Although Quiznos is blaming its bankruptcy on the chronic economic recession that, starting during the Bush administration, which not only continued but worsened during Barack Obummer's presidency, and on Obummercare, the White...
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Funny story: Subway Promises Its Customers It Will Get Rid of The Yoga Mat Taste In Its Bread

Subway Promises Its Customers It Will Get Rid of The Yoga Mat Taste In Its Bread

MILFORD, Connecticut - Subway has stated that they have always had the taste buds of their customers foremost at hand. Company spokeswoman Tammy Strawhouse recently addressed the matter that had been brought up by a consumer group that some of the...
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Funny story: Subways of the World

Subways of the World

In an altruistic campaign to promote diversity within multi-culturalism, The Spoof has launched a massive endeavor to educate ethnocentric Americans as to how well they have it as compared to other so-called developed (but, by American standards, woefully inadequate) countries. This particular article considers subways of the world. American Subways (the Best) American subways put those of o...
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Funny story: Unassuming Man Insults Iranian On Train

Unassuming Man Insults Iranian On Train

An Iranian man visiting The Big Apple is set to sue the New York Subway system after claiming he was insulted by a multitude of passengers making his journey on the underground transit system "unbearable'. He is seeking $5,000,000 in damages. Ta...
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Funny story: Subway "Footlong" suit leads to similar claim against American men

Subway "Footlong" suit leads to similar claim against American men

The same attorney who filed a lawsuit against the Subway sandwich chain claiming some of the company's popular footlong sandwiches are shorter than advertised has filed a similar lawsuit against nearly all American men. According to attorney Ch...
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Funny story: Area man meets soulmate on subway, does nothing

Area man meets soulmate on subway, does nothing

CHICAGO, IL--Copy editor Preston Parks sat next to his soulmate Amy Gammel on a short subway ride Monday, but declined to strike up a conversation with the woman who is his absolute emotional, mental, and physical match. Although the two had appro...
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Funny story: Subway and Starbucks open branches on Death Row

Subway and Starbucks open branches on Death Row

Two of the world's largest brands have opened branches inside Death Row at New York State Penitentiary to serve last meals and drinks to the inmates before they go for the needle. "It's a bold move," said Subway chairman, Simon Simple. "We believe...
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Funny story: Manhattan Man Successfully Avoids Co-Worker on Subway

Manhattan Man Successfully Avoids Co-Worker on Subway

Although there are over 8 million people living in New York City, the company where Manhattan resident Bill Bartwell works employs only 60 people - making Bill's odds of running into any of his co-workers during his morning commute relatively low. Fa...
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Funny story: DC Subway Metro Riders Perturbed when Metro has a Perfect Operational Day

DC Subway Metro Riders Perturbed when Metro has a Perfect Operational Day

On a record setting day where the DC Metro Subway system ran just perfectly, thousands of DC Subway riders are in an uproar over its incredulously precise promptness and lack of any equipment malfunctions. On a December Sunday the subway actually ha...
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Funny story: Bitter Disagreement in Subway Restaurant

Bitter Disagreement in Subway Restaurant

This week I been undercover. Wearing my trusty mac and suspicious hat, I have wandered in and out of many public places, attempting to witness spontaneous drama in the flesh. It took a while. Nothing occured in Blockbuster, McDonald's, KFC or Poundland. And the usual scuffling grounds of Hollywood Bowl, Pizza Hut and Hair on Broadway proved unsuccessful. I was almost giving up hope, when I...
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Funny story: Dude, Where's My Bush Gone!

Dude, Where's My Bush Gone!

Super-heavyweight President bullier Michael Moore has spoken out about his disappointment over Barack Obama and his successful presidential campaign. "I know its good for the country, promises great change for the future, has been long overdue and al...
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Funny story: Subway Franchise Admits To Selling Just Boring Salad Really

Subway Franchise Admits To Selling Just Boring Salad Really

Health conscious food chain Subway has admitted that most of its food range consists of nothing more than "bland common or garden salad."...
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Funny story: Subway manager is sacked for scoffing all the stock

Subway manager is sacked for scoffing all the stock

An extremely greedy and pompous Subway sandwich shop manager from New Mexico was fired yesterday for eating the complete stock of food in the shops limited inventory.
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Funny story: Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - They've opened up franchise restaurants around the world serving sandwiches made from bread baked that same day, fillings as fresh as possible. Value for money and ultimately, a delicious meal, have ma...
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Funny story: Subway sack worker over sharing Coke, Transport systems worldwide strike in protest. Markets in freefall.

Subway sack worker over sharing Coke, Transport systems worldwide strike in protest. Markets in freefall.

A worker at a Subway restaurant in Dunedin New Zealand has been sacked for sharing her complimentary diet Coke with a friend, sparking worldwide travel chaos as underground train systems immediately went on strike and have refused to return to work...
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Funny story: Jared Fogle Spotted Going Biggie Size at Wendy's

Jared Fogle Spotted Going Biggie Size at Wendy's

Subway spokesman and former fattie Jared Fogle, who became famous for losing 350 pounds on his own Subway diet, was spotted yesterday by customers at a Wendy's restaurant. One restaurant employee, on conditions of anonymity, said that "Jare...
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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