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Funny satire stories about Stock Market

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Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Funny story: Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Stock Market Collapses

Funny story: Stock Market Collapses

As an amazing run of poor luck continued on the Stock Market, traders were left facing 'total ruin' after high winds yesterday blew the stalls down. The 'early forecast' had been good, but squally showers mid-morning, and strong breezes coming fro...

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Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

Funny story: Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

With China's market crash having an effect on the US Stock Exchange even the wealthiest of "1%" are feeling the pinch. Take, for example, Jeffrey Van Thornhurst, CEO of Takyour Financial Inc. who has felt a very direct personal impact due to the mon...

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Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

Funny story: Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

With the recent major drop in the Chinese stock market, the President has ordered Congress to begin emergency planning on how to keep the failing stocks from crashing completely. One of the proposed plans is a national tax hike and even more budget...

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IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...

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Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Funny story: Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...

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Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Funny story: Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Between 2006 and 2012, the wealthiest Americans became less generous with charitable donations, as a share of their total income, while lower- and middle-income Americans reached farther into their pockets as they witnessed the need for charity in th...

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Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

Funny story: Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...

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Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Funny story: Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...

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Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Funny story: Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Lots of folks are ecstatic that Twitter is now a publicly traded company. But not the Twitter birdies! Word is that they were much happier when the company was a private one, filled with relaxed-looking workers in jeans and T shirts. Now, for...

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Catholic Church to be Privatised

Funny story: Catholic Church to be Privatised

The Catholic Church is to be floated on the Stock Market. Cardinal Karl Profiteri of the Holy See's Banca Ambrosiana has announced that the Church is going to be privatised. At a special conclave of bishops the vote was taken last April during th...

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Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

Funny story: Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

In a stunning new move, NYSE Chairman Marsh Carter approved the addition of a new commodity - love - onto the NYSE. Commodities like wheat, corn, soy beans, and pork bellies have long been pedaled through commodities markets. But due to its ethereal...

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Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Funny story: Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Park Slope, NY - Fuggles the cat wasn't much loved by his new owner, Daniel Stone, who would sooner have gotten rid of him altogether... but then Fuggles became much more valuable. Fuggles had been bestowed upon Mr. Stone by his girlfriend, Sophie...

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China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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Exchequer spread bets away UK coffers on Facebook shares

A source in the Government has revealed that persons high up in the treasury have lost all the UK gold resources spread betting them away on the Facebook share offering. "We thought we could gamble our way out of debt with 80% used buying the shar...

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Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Funny story: Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...

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Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

Funny story: Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.

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G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

Funny story: G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

Wall St. - Stocks rose on the announcement out of the G20 assembly that all stocks would be purchased by the G20 central banks. Recent stock market volatility has the elite concerned that they may loose capital in a market crash, according to ou...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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