In a stunning new move, NYSE Chairman Marsh Carter approved the addition of a new commodity - love - onto the NYSE. Commodities like wheat, corn, soy beans, and pork bellies have long been pedaled through commodities markets. But due to its ethereal...
Park Slope, NY - Fuggles the cat wasn't much loved by his new owner, Daniel Stone, who would sooner have gotten rid of him altogether... but then Fuggles became much more valuable.
Fuggles had been bestowed upon Mr. Stone by his girlfriend, Sophie...
In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...
A source in the Government has revealed that persons high up in the treasury have lost all the UK gold resources spread betting them away on the Facebook share offering.
"We thought we could gamble our way out of debt with 80% used buying the shar...
Kabul, Afghanistan - Disneyland officials, in a financial press release revealed earlier today, reported the continuing decline in revenues at their Kabul Family Resort location. The financial brief cited reduced visitor counts, lack of available ho...
NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate.
The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...
The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event.
Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.
Wall St. - Stocks rose on the announcement out of the G20 assembly that all stocks would be purchased by the G20 central banks.
Recent stock market volatility has the elite concerned that they may loose capital in a market crash, according to ou...
Only days into the Zuckerbergs' new life together, Priscilla Chan is enraged with her husband, the NASDAQ, and anyone else who gets in her way.
How many shares of Facebook she actually owns is a mystery, but one thing is clear: The stock issued at...
MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece.
"Now...
(New York)Wall Street investors are very nervous after it has been revealed that Sluttymobile phone company is being investigated for fraud and insiders say the details make Paris Hilton look like a Virgin.
It is understood that Sluttymobile has...
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it.
"The...
Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy &am...
HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold resident Bertram Cooke has lost thousands of dollars in the stock market's free-fall that started last week. In all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about 7% in five business days.
However, Cooke is livid that he wa...
Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell.
Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a...
A loud fart that occurred on the floor of the Estonian Parliament ignited panic and pandemonium on Wall Street, leading to a mass selloff of stocks by investors causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop more than 1 million points, most of whic...
Recent history is littered with stories from the financial markets of so called "rogue traders" who have made massive irresponsible bets and lost, resulting in losses often running into the billions. It stands to reason that with so many idiots rolli...
Washington DC: The share price of McDonald's Corporation has doubled on the NYSE. Market analysts believe the jump in shareholder value was a consequence of President Obama's latest executive order.
The president's executive order sends Thanksgivi...