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Funny story: Hawking warns AI could destroy humanity

Hawking warns AI could destroy humanity

Demented half-cyborg boffin Professor Stephen Hawking has claimed that one day, possibly soon, artificial intelligence could destroy humanity. The drooling brainbox insisted that if we continue to develop ever more powerful robots and computers, then...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawkings: ASS May Be Even More Dangerous Than AI

Stephen Hawkings: ASS May Be Even More Dangerous Than AI

Stephen Hawkings today released a warning that some day Artificial Intelligence could cause the beginning of the end of man kind. But! Artificial Super Stupidity is a very real threat that is right here, right now! "Humans...are stupid," began Ha...
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Funny story: Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

There has been a tidal wave of reaction from around the world to renowned physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking's statement that "the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race." Here are some of the responses: President Barack Obama: "I am surprised at Prof. Hawkings; the statement is most illogical." US Politico Sarah Palin: "They will have to learn to...
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Funny story: Solar Panel Firm Bids For DVD Recycling Company

Solar Panel Firm Bids For DVD Recycling Company

Unsold DVDs and CDs from charity shops, music marketing outlets and teenagers' bedrooms have been harvested recently in huge numbers by the recycling firm, Earbleeders. Now the subject of several healthy offers worldwide, probably due to the fac...
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Funny story: Curiosity Mars Buggy Finds Solar System Control Box Behind Rock

Curiosity Mars Buggy Finds Solar System Control Box Behind Rock

The main control panel for the Earth, Mars, Sun, Moon and the rest of the Solar System has been found by the Curiosity Mars Vehicle. NASA has now admitted that this was the reason for the multi billion dollar mission. Steven Honking, the distingui...
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Funny story: Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Tidal Waves, Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Volcanic Plasma Flows ravaged the earth at 2.00 am. this morning for 1000th of one second as Steven Hawking changed the O.S. of the solar system from Windows to Mac. "The changeover went smoothly with minimum...
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Funny story: God Announces Resignation on Twitter

God Announces Resignation on Twitter

Mr Lord God or 'The' Lord God has today announced his intention to step down from his role of being God for an indefinite amount of time. The news broke on God's official Twitter account and it had been expected for a number of weeks. He is due t...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton & Stephen Hawking Discuss The String Theory

Paris Hilton & Stephen Hawking Discuss The String Theory

Paris Hilton: Every time I put on one of my string bikinis and walk out on the beach, I draw a pretty good crowd so I think that the string theory is magnetic in nature. Stephen Hawking: Over the past few decades, a single explanatory framework, now called the "string theory", has emerged that may turn out to be the ultimate theory of the universe. Many physicists believe that, at the beginnin...
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Funny story: Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Professor Stephen Hawking. has disclosed that maths teachers have been kidding about J, the square root of minus one. It apparently does not exist in the natural universe. A market trader from Basildon blew the whistle on the myth on Saturday mor...
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Funny story: Brainy tot proves kids--even little geniuses--say the darndest things!

Brainy tot proves kids--even little geniuses--say the darndest things!

She's smarter than Abraham Lincoln (I. Q. 128), Bill Clinton (I. Q. 137), Napoleon Bonaparte (I. Q. 145) Sigmund Freud (I. Q. 156), Benjamin Franklin (I. Q. 160), and even Stephen Hawking (I Q. 160). Three-year-old Alice Amos, of the United Kingdom (...
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Funny story: Space Station Has Stopped Movement Away From Earth

Space Station Has Stopped Movement Away From Earth

Good news this morning in that the International Space Station has quit moving away from it's regular orbit around the earth. "We still have no idea what caused it to suddenly move out of it's orbit away from the earth", stated NASA spokesman Alfr...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking Helped Seattle Super Bowl Win

Stephen Hawking Helped Seattle Super Bowl Win

Mastermind Stephen Hawking talked to reporters this morning that he had been reading the news this morning and has admitted that he had helped the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl. He claims that it was an accident on his part. "Gentleman ca...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking Reveals Source Of Ghost-Sightings

Stephen Hawking Reveals Source Of Ghost-Sightings

Remember the old commercials, "When E.F. Hutton speaks, everyone listens?" That is usually the case when Stephen Hawking speaks in his mechanical voice, everyone listens. After waiting until the Super Bowl thing was over, Hawking called the press...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking: Of Course Earth Has Visitors From Other Planets

Stephen Hawking: Of Course Earth Has Visitors From Other Planets

Much to most people's surprise, Stephen Hawking has assured other scientists some time ago that what we call aliens have often visited the earth. With his mechanical voice and appearance, Stephen Hawking almost appears as an alien himself. However...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking: Whole Lot of Shit Going Down!

Stephen Hawking: Whole Lot of Shit Going Down!

Prominent scientist, Stephen Hawking stated today that both Greenpeace and other environmental groups are fighting a losing battle with nature. "There are about 7 billion people on the earth today. Let's say they have one good crap each day. Now I...
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Funny story: Britney Spears and Justin Bieber tell the truth

Britney Spears and Justin Bieber tell the truth

New York- At a news conference Britney Spears and Justin Bieber spoke to reporters to explain their interest in Astronomy. After listening to a discussion given by Steven Hawking about particle theory and life in the universe both Spears and Bie...
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Funny story: Atos insist Stephen Hawking is not disabled

Atos insist Stephen Hawking is not disabled

Atos, the French organisation employed by the British government to see which British people are eligible for disability benefits, have decided that Stephen Hawking is not disabled, and is not allowed any benefits, despite the seventy-one year old ph...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking Has Been Walking for Years, We Just Can't See It

Stephen Hawking Has Been Walking for Years, We Just Can't See It

An inside source has revealed that Stephen Hawking, the world renowned theoretical physicist who is confined to a wheelchair, has been "walking for several years now" and claims that the world is just too close-minded to observe it. The sourc...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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