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Funny story: Malingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead

Malingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead

London - Wednesday's state ceremony will feature a remote controlled latex mannequin whose batteries are powered by low-emission biofuel gas. "Who cares if it looks like Abu Hamza in drag, eh?" Prince Philip chuckled as Palace puppeteers finalized...
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Funny story: Well-spoken grandmother in multi-million pound hat makes speech about cutting back

Well-spoken grandmother in multi-million pound hat makes speech about cutting back

A well-spoken and well-preserved grandmother, Mrs Elizabeth Windsor, made a speech earlier this week in which she suggested that her colleagues, or, as she prefers to call them, "subjects" should cut back on the excesses of modern living and save for...
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Funny story: Wednesday's State Opening of Parliament will be the Queen's last

Wednesday's State Opening of Parliament will be the Queen's last

London - Fears she'll suddenly snuff it on live UK TV were doing the rounds at Hellfire Club HQ today. The Illuminatis' cold war shoo-in has been plagued by nightmares since Sunday's tragic 1,000 Guineas that claimed the life of 33/1 filly Gray Pe...
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Funny story: State Opening of the Can of Worms in doubt as Queen sickens

State Opening of the Can of Worms in doubt as Queen sickens

London - (News of the Screwz): Tuesday's glorious Glib Dem/Con freakshow is on the skids. Sordid money-grubbing revelations about Sarah, Duchess of Yuck pimping for Prince Andrew have sent HM's blood pressure rocketing. A fresh installment thre...
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Funny story: Copy of Tuesday's Queen's Peach found in Kings Cross lav

Copy of Tuesday's Queen's Peach found in Kings Cross lav

London - (Rioters): The dog poo-smeared royal document was dumped inside a Thameslink Gents this evening. An accompanying official envelope had We Are Not Amused scrawled in blood. A sneak preview of the contents shows a mixed bag of Old Tory...
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Funny story: The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

London - (Rotten Fruit): An emergency coup d'etat will see the cancellation of the Queen's Peach on Wednesday. The prediction comes from self-confessed shagger of 'no more than 30 women' cum-Lib/Dem mouthpiece Nick C Legg-Over, 69. "All the sig...
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Westboro Ass-Tits

The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
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