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Funny satire stories about Stalybridge Celtic

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Funny story: Usain Bolt to turn out for United against Celtic

Usain Bolt to turn out for United against Celtic

Usain Bolt, the fastest man on two legs, asked Sir Alex Ferguson if he could play for Manchester United, and the dour Scot has agreed to let him trial at an upcoming friendly. "I know he can run," said Sir Fergie. "I saw him in the Olympics. But c...
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Funny story: Stalybridge Celtic decide not to risk promotion

Stalybridge Celtic decide not to risk promotion

Stalybridge Celtic of the Conference North have examined their finances and decided that promotion would be financial suicide. "We said to Jim Harvey, the manager, to get us promoted in three years," said chairman Rob Gorski. "The bugger nearly di...
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Funny story: Stalybridge Celtic manager reveals the secret to their success

Stalybridge Celtic manager reveals the secret to their success

Stalybridge Celtic have set a personal best record by going unbeaten at home for nearly the whole of 2011, and manager Jim Harvey has come forward to explain how such a record was set. "It's quite simply down to the fans at the club," said former...
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Funny story: Craig Bellamy to face Celtic

Craig Bellamy to face Celtic

In an effort to force Craig Bellamy to hand in a transfer request, Roberto Mancini has told Bellamy that he must face a series of non-league teams in pre-season friendlies. "I have already told him to play against Altrincham," said Mancini. "To hi...
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Funny story: Celtic relegate Rangers

Celtic relegate Rangers

The final day of the Conference North saw one of the most interesting clashes take place at Bower Fold, the home of Stalybridge Celtic who were hosting Stafford Rangers. Celtic's nearest rival in the league is Hyde, a mere two miles away. Hyde...
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Funny story: Shock as Entire Celtic team resign

Shock as Entire Celtic team resign

Manager of Stalybridge Celtic, Jim Harvey, admitted his shock when he discovered that the entire team had resigned. "I was told by a text message," Harvey said in a press conference at the club's Bower Fold ground. "Chairman Rob Gorski sent it."...
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Funny story: Big Boys Alfreton Upset by Stalybridge Celtic's Youth Team

Big Boys Alfreton Upset by Stalybridge Celtic's Youth Team

There was an upset of sorts in the FA Cup this week when the biggest team currently in the competition, Alfreton Town, were knocked out by Conference North side, Stalybridge Celtic. Although bigger than Manchester United, Alfreton's misery was com...
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Funny story: Equal opportunities

Equal opportunities

Equal opportunities for everybody has long been the mantra of modern society, and the English FA, being fifty years behind the times, has finally caught up to the rest of the country with a landmark decision. Although it went without fanfare, at t...
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