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Funny satire stories about Stalkers

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Woman Being Followed in Google Doc by Quiet Guy in Marketing

NEW YORK--While updating monthly sales info on a shared Google Doc, ABM Industries employee Brooke Santos noted Tuesday that Mark Furness--that quiet guy who works in marketing--had been digitally following her throughout the spreadsheet, despite the...

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Ex-police chief held in talking and salt case

A retired senior police officer from Gateshead has been arrested on suspicion of stalking, talking and salt. Former Chief Supt Ralph Condiment was held after a man and woman complained of being followed and subjected to a barrage of irrelevant tal...

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Deborah Harry is not Blonde!

Funny story: Deborah Harry is not Blonde!

Photographs of Deborah Harry, lead singer for the group Blondie have revealed that she dies her hair blonde, and isn't a natural blonde. "It was hard to tell in her early photos," said Harry Blondiefan, Deborah Harry's number one fan, who has pict...

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EStalker matches victims with stalkers

Funny story: EStalker matches victims with stalkers

The internet has a new website dedicated to bringing compatible people together. It is called EStalker and, like dating sites which match people who would probably not otherwise meet based on commonalities, EStalker uses a state of the art algorithm...

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Chris Kamara - My Stalker Hell

Legendary ex Bradford City Footballer Chris Kamara today speaks out about the hell his life has become since becoming targeted by an hysterical late middle aged man from the Mediterranean. "I don't know where he came from" said Chris "but he app...

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Facebook Sues Hot Brooklyn Chick for Causing Share Value to Plummet by Deleting Facebook Account

Funny story: Facebook Sues Hot Brooklyn Chick for Causing Share Value to Plummet by Deleting Facebook Account

Facebook has filed an $18 billion lawsuit against 22-year-old Kendall O'Hara of Brooklyn, New York, for intentional interference with Facebook's much-anticipated initial public offering of stock to small-time investors. On the day of the Facebook...

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Stalker day a great success for card shops

Funny story: Stalker day a great success for card shops

High Street card shops have hailed the National Stalker and Harassment Day a great success, with millions of cards sold nationwide. "We're really glad that the government have come up with this new day to accompany Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day,...

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AT&T Commercial Features Neurotic Teenage Stalker

AT&T has unveiled its latest TV commercial, "Silent Treatment." The spot is intended to celebrate the advantage of having AT&T's messaging plan. It opens with the new spokeswoman for AT&T, a neurotic teenage girl, sitting in her room...

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Simon Says...Stop Stalking!

Funny story: Simon Says...Stop Stalking!

Today a victory was scored for the battered and weary titan that is British justice. Due to the increase of people been sniffed on the bus by strangers, stalking will be now be classified as a crime. The news excited P. Tom of the probation union...

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Tulisa Contostavlos Laughs Off X Factor Death Threats

Funny story: Tulisa Contostavlos Laughs Off X Factor Death Threats

X Factor judge, Tulisa Contostavlos today laughed off a series of death threats, saying quite frankly that she doesn't give a toss. It is believed that Tulisa has received the death threats via text messages and on her Twitter account, with promis...

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Abramovich tells his stalker the truth about Torres

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich came face to face with a stalker after the girl got past security on his yacht. The girl was armed with only a pen and begged the Russian millionaire to sign his name between her legs! He refused despite the girl beggin...

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Like following a celebrity? There's an app for that

Funny story: Like following a celebrity? There's an app for that

New from the makers of iWeigh is the latest in applelets for the iPhone, this time making full use of the GPS capabilities of the iPhone. Called iStalk it lets ordinary people find and follow the celebrity of their choice. "I decided to follow Hol...

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Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez, Manchester United player, being stalked by sexy TAG

Funny story: Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez, Manchester United player, being stalked by sexy TAG

The Daily Tacky today published a disturbing story Chicharito of Man. U. is apparently being stalked by a sexy member of the newly formed TAGs group (Tarts And Girlfriends of football fans). This is a strange move as the TAGs spokeswoman did say t...

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Rio Ferdinand stalker is a Liverpool fan!

Funny story: Rio Ferdinand stalker is a Liverpool fan!

Rio Ferdinand is being stalked by a perverted female Liverpool fan and now a judge has had to put a restraining order on her to prevent anything happening to Rio and his family. It seems that the female stalker, Mrs Scousie Ibru (name changed for...

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Younger Subo Fanatics Have Two New Hobbies - Stalking Justin Bieber and Producing New Reality Show for TV

Funny story: Younger Subo Fanatics Have Two New Hobbies - Stalking Justin Bieber and Producing New Reality Show for TV

A new group of Justin Bieber fans have been 'discovered'. These are 50+ yr. old American women, wearing red scarves and 'We Love Susan' buttons. Recently released from The Priory Clinic in London England, these women returned home to find their g...

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Wii Stalking successfully replicates highs and lows of obsession, say experts

Funny story: Wii Stalking successfully replicates highs and lows of obsession, say experts

Stalkers all around the world have heaped glowing praise on the Nintendo's Wii latest release, saying it successfully captures the psychological state of erotomania realistically without sacrificing any of the gameplay. Wii Stalking, which was rel...

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To Thee, My Creep Inside the Library

Funny story: To Thee, My Creep Inside the Library

I have been working on a piece of poetry of which I'm more proud than I usually am. It is of a subject about which I know as intimately as I know the feeling of jacquard silk against my chapel hat pegs: le perverti dans la bibliothèque, or what you might call "the creep in the library." My inspiration: Herman Blowhole. I have not been able to go to the library for months without Mr. Blowhole le...

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Kristen Stewart's Private Heartache - She Is Being Stalked By Two Stalkers

Funny story: Kristen Stewart's Private Heartache - She Is Being Stalked By Two Stalkers

DETROIT - Kristen Stewart was in Motown to see about purchasing a 2011 Ferrari, which she has wanted for quite some time now. As she was looking at the various cars in The Blue Lion Ferrari Dealership she noticed a man in a Los Angeles Dodgers cap...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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