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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 10: Fishing

The Case Against Sports- Part 10: Fishing

Fishing Fishermen are people who want to call themselves Sportsmen but lack the necessary athletic ability to participant in other sports. Fish are a captive prey trapped in a body of water with nowhere else to go, and are easy targets for even the most inept human predator. Fishermen are also known as anglers because they always have an angle, and never a straightforward approach to the sport...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 9: Hunting

The Case Against Sports- Part 9: Hunting

Hunting In modern civilization there is absolutely no reason to hunt or fish. Such sports are retrogressive compulsions to return to our primitive subhuman origin and are popular among people with lower levels of intellect. They fear the challenging changes of urban integration that comes with rapid evolutionary advancement so they try to escape and seek refuge in the wild. In their ultimate a...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 8: Cockfighting

The Case Against Sports- Part 8: Cockfighting

Cockfighting With perversion as the defining feature throughout all of Sportsdom, is it any wonder that men raise their cocks, stick them in a pit and get extremely excited as the creatures bite and claw each other to death. Bull fights and dog fights are somewhat understandable, but why on earth would anyone be interested in a cock fight? The answer is simple: Because they are the most depriv...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 7: Bullfighting

The Case Against Sports- Part 7: Bullfighting

Bullfighting This sport symbolizes the fight of good against evil, or truth against falsehood. The bullfighter, known as the Matador, represents the good truth, and the bull represents the evil lies (bullshit). The term Matador comes from the root mat at the door , or doormat, suggesting a thing to clean one's shoes after stepping into a pile of bullshit. The symbolism of the sport is as f...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 5: Rodeo

The Case Against Sports- Part 5: Rodeo

Rodeo This decidedly animalistic sport is a rowdy remnant from the old Wild West with whippersnapper cowboys, cattlemen, and clowns-all assembled in a round ring of detritus and dung. With nothing better to do on a Saturday night drunk and lonely cowpoke flexed their machismo and challenged their fellow herdsman to compete for the worthiness of mating with the choicest livestock. To defend t...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 6: Cheating

The Case Against Sports- Part 6: Cheating

Cheating Sports are a just another form of entertainment that needs to attract and hold the interest of an audience so it can sell tickets and advertising. If it's not exciting it's not entertaining, and that's bad for business. The truth is that most sports, especially baseball, are just plain boring. With broadcasters competing for viewers, the pressure to increase the entertainment factor is...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 4: Games

The Case Against Sports- Part 4: Games

Games For as long as games have been played philosophers and intellectuals have wondered why they are played. Subsequent to centuries of careful deliberation the consensus has concluded that the only rationale is because game playing is the opposite of doing work. It's what young people do before they are competent enough to do actual work. It's what infants do because that's all they're able t...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 3: Losers

The Case Against Sports- Part 3: Losers

Losers One of the main problems with Sports is that it creates a culture of losers. At the end of the season, out of all of the teams and players, only a few are winners. The rest are all pathetic losers. No matter how big and strong they are, when they lose each and every one of them is despised by the cheerleaders, and must suffer the degradation and humiliation of being booed by tens of thou...
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Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 1

The Case Against Sports- Part 1

Sports spawn a plethora of problems including: · Wastes energy on adolescent activities · Wastes money purchasing tickets and memorabilia · Wastes money funding athletic programs in schools · Wastes money betting on losers - including yourself · Distracts students away from academic studies · Disrupts social harmony by fomenting rivalries · Perpetrates gambling and other cr...
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Funny story: If men had periods

If men had periods

According to recent research, if men had periods they would brag about them on Facebook, Sports Commentators would incorporate menstrual impact on a Footballer's performance, and bookmakers would factor a player's menstrual cycle into their betting...
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Funny story: Royal Games Drug Shame

Royal Games Drug Shame

It has been revealed that the Royal Games have been plunged into shame following allegations of drug misuse by its high profile patron, Prince Harry. The red-head has admitted that pre-race, mid-race and post-race drug sessions involving mainly hi...
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Funny story: Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger took offence during yesterdays press conference after the loss to Stoke City in the Premier League, when a journalist criticised the club for losing the match 3-2. The French manager took issue with the journalist talki...
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Funny story: World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
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Funny story: Manchester United Investigation - Purple Lizard People Cause of Not Winning

Manchester United Investigation - Purple Lizard People Cause of Not Winning

Manchester United's descent into mediocrity is due to a plague of purple lizard humanoids. David Ike, not to be confused with David Icke or David Moyes phoned the Spoof's Manchester United Crisis phone line this morning offering his services as co...
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Funny story: Jimmy Fallon Explains College Sports

Jimmy Fallon Explains College Sports

So, there's all of this talk about college players wanting to be in a player's union ever since a labor board said it's ok for foootballers at Northwestern to unionize. But the bosses of all the college athletes say they don't want players in...
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Funny story: Colleges Oppose Unions For Football Players

Colleges Oppose Unions For Football Players

The decision by the National Labor Relations Board to grant college players at Northwestern the right to form unions has brought a swift response from a newly organized group of college football powerhouse coaches. The organization, called "Coache...
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Funny story: New York Mets down to one last fan

New York Mets down to one last fan

Flushing, New York - The New York Mets have been a disaster at the plate, an abomination on the mound and a catastrophe in the field. Yet they've always managed to attract a base of supporters. But not anymore. Tired of empty promises and finishe...
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Funny story: Irish Winter Olympic details confirmed

Irish Winter Olympic details confirmed

At a press conference held in the Ballysmackadoo Town Hall, the Minister for Sport, Paddy Fields, together with a celebrity panel line up of Bono, Chris de Burgh, Van Morrison and the late President De Valera announced the venues and sport competitio...
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