Norfolk - A colony of the endangered species is causing havoc at the royal residence after making new nesting arrangements in the Queen's ensuite composting lav.
The organic throne room is said to be completely infested after a Phobics Anonymous-s...
Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider.
Dig if you will a picture: It's 6:30AM. You have 45 minutes to shit, shower and shave before you trudge off to the job that is slowly sucking your life-force away. Ripping Your Own Yogurt Chucker Off, Mid-hump, Makes As Much Sense...
... as calling a story with no actual names "too defamatory". Sadly, both happen more...
Following reports from researchers in Japan about the unique vision characteristics of the Brown Jumping Spider, Vladimir Putin claims to have studied and discovered the distance judging proclivities of the spider some five years earlier, from the in...
Sydney, Taronga Zoo - The famous Funnel Spider, the world's most poisonous spider, has been behaving so aggressively that two regular handlers have been bitten and evacuated to receive anti-venom treatment. Zoo officials have had to call in an outsid...
After Arsenal shipping a canoeful of goals during the Sunday meatfest with arch rivals Moist United, the Arsenal manager Herr Wenger has been recommended a Spider, that can play all along the back four by his deemed nemesis Steve Bruce Forsyth.
A spider triggered an evacuation of Manchester Airport today when it was mistaken for a terror attack.
It was not a massive mutated beast crushing planes under one of it's eight feet. It wasn't even a venomous spider. Or hairy. It was an ordinary...
London - Drunken Druids have trashed a UNESCO-protected tube-web spider colony in North London's Parliament Hill tonight.
Annual Summer Solstice revelry descended into farce around a quarter past six, Hampstead time, just as the sun began its annu...
The biggest spider fossil ever discovered has been found in China. Yet it is a real tiddler!
Evolutionists claim that the spider is a relative of the Golden Orb Spider, which grows to approximately 15cm. However, the fossil specimen is a mere 5cm.
Scientists at a Georgia medical college have released study results which indicate banana spider venom contains a molecule which, when injected into a male subject, can cause a prolonged erection that out-performs any erectile dysfunction drug on the...
In an effort to attract younger readers to The Spoof, one writer has come up with the idea of writing especially for the kiddies.
The following is her first attempt and, hopefully, not her last.
Eensy Weensy Spider Gets Stuck in the Water Spout
A near tradegy struck the Spider family this afternoon when Eensy Weensy Spider did not return home at the designated time.
His mom of "Won't...
Brisbane - (Biblical Proportions): Millions of deadly brown snakes, tiger snakes, red back spiders, funnel web spiders, box and Irukandji jellyfish have been destroyed in the recent deluge.
The predators are often cited as one of the biggest turn-...
A 28-year-old from Essex, England has suffered severe burns after igniting himself while attempting to kill a spider.
The man was summoned by his wife after she saw the arachnid wreaking havoc in their bathroom yesterday afternoon. Unable to reach...
(Madison) According to Jones Applied Polling and Education Sciences, more than 90% of self-described American "Progressives" would rather shove live, furry tarantulas into their mouths, chew, and swallow, than trust anything that President Obama has...
Scientists had no sooner discovered a special type of spider that spins HUGE webs than these spiders decided to open a global business, "Snare The Bad Guys."
What this unique spider service does is to grab up offending people and/or products, s...
Scientists recently stunned the world by saying that they had discovered the world's first vegetarian spider.
"Not so," claim his friends. Spiders the world over have contacted reporters to say that the story is not all that it seems. They ar...
DUTCH HARBOR, AK - In a bid to dramatically increase its viewing audience, Discovery's Channel will reportedly cut narrator Mike Roe from its highly-rated series Deadliest Crabs, bagging ice queen Ann Coulter to fill his role in the frigid Bering Sea...
A Kurdish official says hundreds of Iraqi Kurds, led by Miss Muffet, have stormed an election office in a disputed city after claiming many Kurds were not on voting lists for provincial elections.
The protest in Khanaqin (pronounced as "Who Knows?...
A brand new species of spider has been discovered in Madagascar with a bite like nothing else. One bite from the tiny mandibles of this thumbnail sized arachnid, and the person bitten suffers from an IQ gain of more than 20 points.
In more than 10...