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Funny story: Online sperm bank sponsors egg and spoon race

Online sperm bank sponsors egg and spoon race

New York - The creation of a whole new species of alien clones is being sponsored by the Online Sperm Bank. Wannabe surrogates are being recruited to help gestate thousands of new beings who will be known as the new egg and spoon race. All part...
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Funny story: Children Born from Sperm Donors Seeking out Genetic Family

Children Born from Sperm Donors Seeking out Genetic Family

"I wish I had left everything alone", states one daughter of a sperm donor. "Dad was Bad! No, but he sure wasn't much to look at." Margaret is just one of hundreds of Sperm-Donor babies that now want to find out who donated the sperm. "It wasn'...
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Funny story: Pot Smoker at Sperm Bank and Clinic Admits to Replacing Human Sperm With That of Jackass

Pot Smoker at Sperm Bank and Clinic Admits to Replacing Human Sperm With That of Jackass

A worker at a Sperm Bank and Clinic in Minnesota has been caught in the act of replacing sperm donations with other sperm while he was smoking marijuana. "Jerry was left by himself and has been a faithful employee and earned his job", state spokes...
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Funny story: Sperm Bank and Clinic Say Worker Fired Over Subbing His Own Sperm

Sperm Bank and Clinic Say Worker Fired Over Subbing His Own Sperm

A Sperm Bank and Clinic in Salt Lake City have fired worker, John Smith, for dumping donated sperm and replacing it with his own at a fertility clinic . A spokesman for the clinic, which may have a large lawsuit on it's hands, told reporters Tuesd...
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Funny story: Justin Makes Daily Trip To Sperm Bank

Justin Makes Daily Trip To Sperm Bank

You would think that Justin Bieber is trying to save up his sperm as at least his own blood supply, according to news reporters and some fans. But he is donating sperm regularly. He has apparently been changing banks lately after being spotted (an...
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Funny story: Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!

Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!

Several cities, because of the lack of donations, have placed after hours ATM Machines at their sperm banks. Now you can go to the blood plasma bank and get some cash and then you go over to the Sperm Bank ATM and who knows how many children we wi...
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Funny story: New ATM Opens At Local Sperm Bank

New ATM Opens At Local Sperm Bank

After several months of construction, the staff at Little Wigglies Sperm Bank celebrated the opening of their eagerly anticipated ATM today. "It was very exciting. We had a ribbon cutting ceremony and served Red Bull and oyster snacks," gushed...
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Funny story: Man Who Donated Heavily To A Sperm Bank Keeps Running Into His Kinfolk

Man Who Donated Heavily To A Sperm Bank Keeps Running Into His Kinfolk

Lancashire, U.K. - In a story that can only be seen in light of that old adage, reversed, 'What comes a round, goes around,' a German expatriate living as a civil servant in Britain, Helmut Heins, has claimed to have fathered over 10,000 children thr...
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Funny story: Crisis Rocks UK's Largest Sperm Bank

Crisis Rocks UK's Largest Sperm Bank

As the world's financial markets and banking system continue on a wild roller coaster ride, a major crisis is spreading to a banking sector few people ever think of. Sehman Brothers, who hold the UK's largest and most diverse sperm deposits, have...
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Funny story: The World's Largest Sperm Bank Says "No" To Redhead Deposits

The World's Largest Sperm Bank Says "No" To Redhead Deposits

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - France's national news agency Le News is reporting that the largest sperm bank system in the world Wigglies 'R' Us has issued an official directive stating that it will no longer accept any deposits from redheads. The Directo...
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Funny story: George Osborne strikes deal with wank bank

George Osborne strikes deal with wank bank

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed a deal with the wank bank that will force them to start lending again. The wank bank had refused to lend back sexual and arousing images that men had stored leading to very tense situations. The news will be...
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Funny story: Dishonourable Discharge

Dishonourable Discharge

Reading Police are cock-a-hoop over the arrest of the two notorious Directors of "Sperm-U-Like," a long running Internet scam aimed at desperate, childless couples. Clients paid £380 to join, choosing potential fathers from a list of anonymous sp...
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Funny story: 2 UK men made £250K by selling sperm on the Internet, "Tossers"!

2 UK men made £250K by selling sperm on the Internet, "Tossers"!

Two UK men have been accused of illegally selling frozen sperm over the Internet when asked how they did it they gave the following statement: "We wanked ourselves to death day and night, then we froze the sperm and flogged it over the internet to...
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Funny story: San Antonio Opens Up The First U.S. Sperm Bank With A Drive Thru Window

San Antonio Opens Up The First U.S. Sperm Bank With A Drive Thru Window

SAN ANTONIO - In the who said there is nothing new under the sun category. A branch of The San Antonio Second National Sperm Bank has just opened up the nation's very first Sperm Bank with a drive thru window. Traci Ann Quickowitz, president in ch...
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Funny story: British Women Seek Foreign Wankers As British Sperm Shortage Worsens

British Women Seek Foreign Wankers As British Sperm Shortage Worsens

The shortage of jizz in Britain has worsened. Gordon Brown revealed today that the only big wankers left in the UK were in Parliament. With the shortage getting worse British women seeking a bun in their oven have begun to search abroad in the hop...
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Funny story: California sperm bank dumps Tiger Woods lookalike donors

California sperm bank dumps Tiger Woods lookalike donors

Los Angeles, California - (HumpDump): An LA fertility clinic offering sperm from donors resembling celebrities has prematurely withdrawn its "Tiger Woods' lookalike facilities. California Crybabybank sources said today recent controversy surroundi...
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Funny story: Gore Claims Global Warming Threatens His Frozen Sperm Bank Deposit!

Gore Claims Global Warming Threatens His Frozen Sperm Bank Deposit!

Chicago, Il./ Financial Times - Al Gore will soon be known as THE WORLD'S RICHEST FORMER VICE PRESIDENT, but he is more concerned that his frozen sperm is being threatened by "Global Warming" and is not protected by an FDIC policy covering most o...
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Funny story: Sperm Bank To Offer Some Relief

Sperm Bank To Offer Some Relief

A sperm bank has taken steps to beat the crunch. Following a downturn in business the Nova Mews Sperm Bank has identified ways to move forward. Those making a withdrawal will see a significant reduction if they buy in bulk. For example, if they pu...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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