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Funny story: The world's fastest computer uses neutrinos

The world's fastest computer uses neutrinos

Hot on the news that neutrinos can travel faster than light, scientists at Intel have constructed their new neutrino chip set to make use of this unexpected subatomic behaviour. "The N-Chip will revolutionise the computer industry as much as every...
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Funny story: CERN fined for faster-than-light travel

CERN fined for faster-than-light travel

Scientists at CERN have been fined by God after one of his holy speed cameras caught them firing subatomic particles at faster than the speed of light. The speed of light is known as the "ultimate speed limit" of all matter and energy, but this is th...
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Funny story: Einstein's E=MC² Equation Is Incorrect Say CERN Scientists

Einstein's E=MC² Equation Is Incorrect Say CERN Scientists

Basel, Switzerland-- Physicists working at the CERN Laboratory in Switzerland have just discovered another dreadful mistake made by Albert Einstein. The 20th Century genius was proven wrong last week after it was discovered neutrino particles can tr...
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Funny story: Ratings agencies downgrade speed of light

Ratings agencies downgrade speed of light

As the financial crisis continues to spread, it appears that not even the immutable laws of physics are immune from the effects. Credit rating agencies including Vibe Ratings have downgraded the speed of light from C to C-, after derivatives traders...
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Funny story: Speed of light wrong

Speed of light wrong

Scientists have finally been able to measure the speed of light, and they have discovered that their original speed was wrong. Ray Luminere of the Paris Academe, Paris, used an advanced version of the same technology that catches speeding drivers...
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Funny story: Light overtaken by cheeky soundwave

Light overtaken by cheeky soundwave

Scientists at Hope University in Boston, Mass. released details today of a recent incident in one of their refraction labs.
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Breaking News...

Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief

Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
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