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Funny satire stories about Social Services

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Funny story: Homeless Dogs Better Off Than Homeless

Homeless Dogs Better Off Than Homeless

A Harvard Research Study released today proves that homeless dogs, reguardless of where they live, are better off then the homeless. "Dogs have the unique ability to survive the worst situations" says researcher Doug St. Charles. "Lets face it, d...
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Funny story: Missing woman found safe and well

Missing woman found safe and well

A 65-year-old Skegness woman has been discovered alive at the bottom of an ancient, dried-up well on the edge of Hag Wells Wood. Homeless Vera Tuwells had been living rough for several months, and recently found the partly hidden well which was em...
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Funny story: Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Responsible pet owner Brentson Whitman, 32, quietly and carefully fulfilled the social contract to care for the waste deposited by his three year old Jack Russell Terrier "Oscar Wilde" by delicately and silently removing the small coil of doggy-doo...
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Funny story: Social Workers clearly to blame for everything, whichever way you look at it.

Social Workers clearly to blame for everything, whichever way you look at it.

A national survey today found conclusive evidence that just about everything that has gone wrong is due to the involvement of a social worker. Government sources found that in many cases, tough, stringent fiscal measures have foundered due to the...
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Funny story: Sharon Shoesmith Sticks Two Fingers Up At Public Opinion Again

Sharon Shoesmith Sticks Two Fingers Up At Public Opinion Again

Sharon Shoesmith, the former head of Haringey Child Services, sacked by Ed Balls over the tragic Baby P affair, once again appeared to stick two fingers up at public opinion, when she claimed that her department was not in disarray. Ms Shoesmith was exonerated of any blame for the tragic events in court on Friday, paving the way for a compensation claim on the grounds of unfair dismissal. Sh...
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Funny story: Jordan's kids seized in dawn swoop by Social Services

Jordan's kids seized in dawn swoop by Social Services

In a shock move the children of glamour model Jordan have been seized in a dawn swoop by social services. Jordan, otherwise known as Katie Price, is said to be devastated by what has happened. She is shocked that former husband Peter Andre has 'g...
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Funny story: Queen Released from Care of Local Authority

Queen Released from Care of Local Authority

HM the Queen is back home at Buckingham Palace tonight, wondering not for the first time how it all went so wrong. In this latest instance, HM was forced into protective care after telling people 'I don't think he looks like my father at all.'...
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Funny story: Obama Announces Creation of Post of Entitlement Czar

Obama Announces Creation of Post of Entitlement Czar

With President Barack Obama's proposed 2011 budget assigning 68% of all Federal Spending to entitlement programs, the administration has announced the need to creat the position of Entitlement Czar. The new Super-Cabinet Level post is scheduled to o...
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Funny story: Big Society is "Load of Bollocks", says Society

Big Society is "Load of Bollocks", says Society

Society at large has quashed the political myth of a "Big Society" as expounded by the Con-Dem All (Conservative - Lib Dem Alliance). Society, who's very existence had been questioned by a former Tory Prime Minister, made its views known in a seri...
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Funny story: Massive increase in Social Services taking children into care

Massive increase in Social Services taking children into care

Responding to the criticism of all Social Services departments across the UK over the handling of the Baby P case, West Nowhere Social Services are taking a much more pro-active approach. "We do not want to be caught with our pants down," a spokes...
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Funny story: Mother has 16th baby taken into care

Mother has 16th baby taken into care

30-year old mother of 16, Josephine Led, from Hackney has just broken the UK record for most children taken into care following the birth of her 16th child, a boy, yesterday. Social Services officials were present at the birth to take the child a...
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Funny story: Camden Social Services Take Michael Jackson's Children Into Care

Camden Social Services Take Michael Jackson's Children Into Care

Camden social Services today confirmed that they have taken Michael Jackson's children into care. Social workers acted following an anonymous tip off which claimed that the children were about to be made to follow in their father's footsteps. "We...
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Funny story: Granny Grabbed And Put In Home

Granny Grabbed And Put In Home

An old woman was forcibly removed from her family home and returned to a residential care home. Her family had been concerned about her treatment in the home. Elizabeth Windsor, 85, of 1 The Mall, London, was sitting in the living room playing Mon...
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Funny story: Mrs Rabbit investigated

Mrs Rabbit investigated

Mrs Rabbit, the single mother left in charge of Peter Rabbit is to be investigated by Children's Services in Cumbria. The Rabbit family shot to fame when their plight was dramatised by the author Beatrix Potter. "Mrs Rabbit is struggling to bri...
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Funny story: Council knew social worker 'was probably Myra Hindley's daughter'

Council knew social worker 'was probably Myra Hindley's daughter'

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): For years a North London council knew that disgraced social worker Sharon Poosmith 'was probably Myra Hindley's illigitimate daughter' according to an opinion poll in this weekend's Fascist on Sunday. Poosmith,...
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Funny story: Bringing Up The Neighbourhood

Bringing Up The Neighbourhood

RESIDENTS of a York street have reacted furiously to the decision by City of York Council's housing allocations team to give a tenancy to a family with no criminal record and no history of claiming benefits. Schoolteachers Christian and Harriet...
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Funny story: 'Disturbed' Goldfish Removed From Family Home By Social Services

'Disturbed' Goldfish Removed From Family Home By Social Services

Pandemonium broke out this afternoon on a council estate in Oxford when Social Services removed a 'disturbed and abused' pet goldfish from its family home, in a bowl, on the sideboard, and took it into protective custody. 'This is outrageous,' sai...
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Funny story: German social services take bi-polar bear cub from mom

German social services take bi-polar bear cub from mom

Nuremberg, Germany - (Reuterus): Social service have intervened in the controversy of baby Flocke the bi-polar bear cub whose mother was recently branded a negligent old slag by Nuremberg Zoo officials.
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Breaking News...

Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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