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Plain cigarette packaging will help people addicted to fonts

British MPs have voted to introduce plain packaging to all cigarettes sold in the UK by 2016, in an attempt to cut down on font addiction. "It's a growing problem," said one typographer. "Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever for kids to g...

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England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

Funny story: England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

CIA HQ reporting from a dilapidated council flat in downtown Moss Side, Manchester - Newsflash: Smoking in cars to be banned in England! CIA health reporter, Ciggy Tarlung-Woodbine, has sent this report from the back of a Ford Cortina with a smokey past parked up in Moss Side, a no-go-smoke-free-zone The ministry of health has decided to ban smoking in cars in England from October 2015, they...

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Twelve Good Reasons to Keep Smoking

Funny story: Twelve Good Reasons to Keep Smoking

From medical professionals to friends and family, armed with a stockpile of statistics, smokers are increasingly bombarded with unsolicited advice to stop smoking. And on top of that we have a plethora of new laws prohibiting smoking in public places, private places, and places where no one could breathe anyway but are deemed areas too dangerous for the release of second-hand smoke. So, to even...

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First E cigarettes now kick the E habit with United Drug Federation F cigarettes

Funny story: First E cigarettes now kick the E habit with United Drug Federation F cigarettes

The sale of F cigarettes which are the proven effective way to give up E cigarette has gone viral with over one billion units sold worldwide. Many people have become too fond of E cigarettes which helped people to give up cigarettes. A spokesperso...

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FAA To Allow Smoking On All Hijacked Flights

Funny story: FAA To Allow Smoking On All Hijacked Flights

WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Federal Aviation Administration announced this afternoon that passengers aboard all hijacked commercial airlines would be allowed to smoke during those flights. "We realize that nothing calms down a smoker, like lighting one up,"...

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Pubs have secretly been employing smokers

Funny story: Pubs have secretly been employing smokers

Some enterprising pub landlords have, since the smoking ban, been employing smokers to stand outside their pub. "It's a good second income," said Sue Perkins, who has been standing outside the Red Lion in Stockport for the past two years. "You get...

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Smokers ring out the warning

Funny story: Smokers ring out the warning

Streets outside offices will soon become much more noisy if the anti-smoking lobby get their latest suggestion passed into law. "What we want to do," said Ashley Holden, "is to have smokers warn healthy people who happen to be walking near by. Our...

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No more beer in pubs

Funny story: No more beer in pubs

With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way. "Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...

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Newspaper in giveaway storm

Funny story: Newspaper in giveaway storm

A national newspaper has created a furore by offering a free cigar for all readers. The Express Daily celebrated it's 'Churchill week' by declaring 'now you can look like the great man with the cut out and keep bald head plus free cigar'. Steve...

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Governor Rick Perry Bans Cigarette Smoking In Drought-Stricken Texas

Funny story: Governor Rick Perry Bans Cigarette Smoking In Drought-Stricken Texas

AUSTIN - The state of Texas is experiencing the worst drought in fifty years as hundreds of windswept wildfires have burned a total of 3.7 million acres. Governor Rick Perry has taken time out from the GOP presidential campaigning to return to Aus...

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New Anti-Smoking rules

Funny story: New Anti-Smoking rules

The UK Government is set to introduce the most stringent anti-smoking rules in Europe. "Now that we have banned smoking inside public places we have seen an increase in the number of people stood around outside public places," said government Heal...

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New York Smokers Face Death Penalty

Michael Bloomberg, The King of New York, has warned city smokers they should expect to be "shot to death, soon." The former Republican, Democrat, Independant & Life Time Twat is ready to impose greater restrictions on smokers after "thinking h...

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Smoking To Be Classed As Extreme Sport

Government ministers have today announced that the act of smoking cigarettes is to be classified as an extreme sport. The continued popularity of the lethal hobby in the face of overwhelming, some might say 'blasé', scientific evidence that it causes...

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Skinny smokers are laughing at you fatties

Funny story: Skinny smokers are laughing at you fatties

Every City, U.S.A. - Up until the eighties it was the glory days for smokers. Ash trays on every desk, ash trays outside of elevators, doctors walking through hospitals smoking, planes, trains, buses...it was a thing of beauty. However, nothing t...

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Non-Smokers Reap Benefits of Smoking Ban, Spoofer Kicks the Habit

Funny story: Non-Smokers Reap Benefits of Smoking Ban, Spoofer Kicks the Habit

TARLBORO COUNTRY, U.S.A. - Just how harmful is secondhand smoke? This has been one of the most lop-sided public health debates of the early 21st century, but a new study suggests that passing laws to curb secondhand smoke can yield a big payoff - a d...

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Wolves Fans Offered Chance To Meet Mick McCarthy In 'Quit Smoking' Drive

Funny story: Wolves Fans Offered Chance To Meet Mick McCarthy In 'Quit Smoking' Drive

Long-suffering fans of one of the Football League's founding members, Wolverhampton Wanderers, are today licking their chapped lips over the mouth-watering opportunity of meeting one of the greatest managers in the club's history - none other than th...

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Arsenal Captain William Gallas Leaves Nightclub With Fag

Funny story: Arsenal Captain William Gallas Leaves Nightclub With Fag

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has reportedly summoned his team captain William Gallas to a private meeting, livid that the player has been snapped by photographers at an exclusive London nightclub, with a fag in his mouth. The moody Gallas, 31, ha...

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UK smoking ban causes more clouds

Funny story: UK smoking ban causes more clouds

Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse revealed this week that the UK wide ban on smoking inside buildings had caused an abundance of cloud formations. "A six month study of the skies above the city of London offices has shown 20% more cloud covera...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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