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Funny satire stories about Smoking

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Funny story: Twelve Good Reasons to Keep Smoking

Twelve Good Reasons to Keep Smoking

From medical professionals to friends and family, armed with a stockpile of statistics, smokers are increasingly bombarded with unsolicited advice to stop smoking. And on top of that we have a plethora of new laws prohibiting smoking in public places, private places, and places where no one could breathe anyway but are deemed areas too dangerous for the release of second-hand smoke. So, to even...
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Funny story: Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Leading tobacco companies and cigarette makers are asking the public not to focus on the dangers of smoking but to switch their thoughts to the millons of people who smoked but did not die from smoking related illnesses. "Not everyone dies from ca...
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Funny story: The Federal Govenment Issues A Warning To Smokers Who Smoke Those 12-Inch Cigars

The Federal Govenment Issues A Warning To Smokers Who Smoke Those 12-Inch Cigars

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After consulting with several doctors who treat smokers, the US government has issued a warning regarding cigars. The warning actually is addressed to those men and in some rare instances women, who smoke those 12-inch cigars su...
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Funny story: A College Report States That The American Middle Class Is Shrinking

A College Report States That The American Middle Class Is Shrinking

CHICAGO - Recent studies which were conducted at Chicago's Windy City Community College have revealed that the American middle class is shrinking. Dr. Uriah H. Tillerwell, who has a Masters Degree in Statistical Stats and a Ph.D. in Crop Rotation,...
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Funny story: Previously Unrecognized Benefits of Tobacco Smoking

Previously Unrecognized Benefits of Tobacco Smoking

Cigarettes are generally considered bad for you. But here are a few things that may cast the practice in a slightly different light. !.) Smokers get outside, away from their desks and computer screens several times per day. Since smoking is disallowed in virtually every workplace, restaurant, bar, or public building, smokers are forced out into the great outdoors. Although they are unable...
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Funny story: Denver Announces Its 1st Annual Marijuana Smoking Contest

Denver Announces Its 1st Annual Marijuana Smoking Contest

DENVER - The director of The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition, Lucy "Sinsemilla" Coxcoogan has just informed the press about the state's 1st Annual Marijuana Smoking Contest. Miss Coxcoogan said that the one-of-a-kind event will be held in Denver...
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Funny story: Barry Obama Notebook Found At College Back Room

Barry Obama Notebook Found At College Back Room

One of these days I hope to be President of some club or something because I feel kind of 'presidential' every time my friends and I go out and smoke some and play some golf. This year I decorated my tree in blue and white lights with a Star of Da...
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Funny story: Local Man Decides To Not Quit Smoking

Local Man Decides To Not Quit Smoking

Dan Riley, 31, of Madison, WI announced in a press conference today that he no longer intends to quit smoking, and that everyone can just kiss his ass. Lighting a cigarette, Riley explained his decision, "I really wanted to quit, too; not anymore. Oh...
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Funny story: First E cigarettes now kick the E habit with United Drug Federation F cigarettes

First E cigarettes now kick the E habit with United Drug Federation F cigarettes

The sale of F cigarettes which are the proven effective way to give up E cigarette has gone viral with over one billion units sold worldwide. Many people have become too fond of E cigarettes which helped people to give up cigarettes. A spokesperso...
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Funny story: Study Links Smoking with Subconcious Obsession with Hiding Your Lighter

Study Links Smoking with Subconcious Obsession with Hiding Your Lighter

A study, conducted by XNM LABS, has linked smoking cigarettes with the subconscious obsession of hiding one's lighter. Scientists of XNM LABS studied 250 smokers, splitting them in to two groups, to perform the highly controversial double-blind t...
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Funny story: AARP Complains That Many Elderly Colorado Residents Are Getting High Just By Breathing The Marijuana In The Air

AARP Complains That Many Elderly Colorado Residents Are Getting High Just By Breathing The Marijuana In The Air

DENVER - The American Association of Retired Persons has filed a complaint with the state of Colorado. The complaint states that since the state voted to decriminalize marijuana the amount of people smoking pot has increased by 4,000 percent. A...
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Funny story: 'Michelle took my bong away years ago' wails Barack Obama

'Michelle took my bong away years ago' wails Barack Obama

Washington - The clean living, chillum eschewing Big Dude on Capitol Hill hasn't had so much a whiff of it since Thanksgiving 2007 if forensic memories are to be believed. Including this year's Martha's Vineyard vacation when some really cool weed...
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Funny story: Benefits and drawbacks of E-cigarettes

Benefits and drawbacks of E-cigarettes

With e-cigarette use on the rise, many are wondering whether the battery-operated device is the answer to the dangers posed by traditional burning tobacco. Here's a helpful list of pros and cons to help you consider if e-cigarettes are right for you. PRO • None of the health risks, all of the aesthetic coolness • No longer feel guilty after visiting cancer-stricken uncle in hospital • Might...
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Funny story: Bilderberg Whistleblower Heard Power Cuts Plan To Keep People Smoking!

Bilderberg Whistleblower Heard Power Cuts Plan To Keep People Smoking!

Lady Henrietta Partridge-Greenwelly, the wife of ex-Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly, has turned whistleblower by revealing a devious plot to keep people smoking put together behind closed doors during the recent Bilderberg meeti...
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Funny story: Ardi Rizal The 2-Year-Old Smoking Baby Has Quit The Habit

Ardi Rizal The 2-Year-Old Smoking Baby Has Quit The Habit

SUMATRA, Indonesia - Indonesian-born Ardi Rizal first made world news when he was videotaped smoking a cigarette at the amazing age of two-years-old. The Internet video went viral and has thus far gotten over 13 million views. Ardi, or Baby Chu...
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Funny story: Bad news for sons-in-law: women who quit smoking by age 50 can live up to a decade longer

Bad news for sons-in-law: women who quit smoking by age 50 can live up to a decade longer

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released this week a study which son-in-laws everywhere will have a hard time swallowing. Women who quit smoking by the age of 50 dramatically cut risk of an early death, enjoying up to ten to fifteen more year...
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Funny story: Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Dorking Zoo Keeper, Stavros Jones, improved his brainpower three-fold by smoking the malted fur from various primates at the zoo he is employed at an un-named conservation park in Surrey. Stavros, a keen botanist when not tending to primates, boas...
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Funny story: The Hunting Act - Eight Years On (An Undercover Report)

The Hunting Act - Eight Years On (An Undercover Report)

The Hunting Act 2004 is a United Kingdom Act of Parliament. Its effect is to outlaw hunting with dogs - particularly for foxes, deer, hares and mink. During the pre-legislation debate it was claimed by the country sports community that the Act would be devastating to rural economies as well as undermining centuries of agrarian cultural tradition. Eight years on, however, it is apparent, even...
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Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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