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North East to observe a minute​​'s silence for victim family suffering austerity who had to cancel Sky subscription

Funny story: North East to observe a minute​​'s silence for victim family suffering austerity who had to cancel Sky subscription

A one minute silence across the North East will be held tomorrow in observation of the loss of a family from Teesside who had to cut their Sky TV subscription due to austerity. As a result, Dan Matthews of Middlesbrough will no longer be able to f...

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Church Leaders Urge Couples To Rip Out Bathroom Suites And Kitchen Units In Time For Easter Advertising Campaigns

Funny story: Church Leaders Urge Couples To Rip Out Bathroom Suites And Kitchen Units In Time For Easter Advertising Campaigns

The Archbishop of Cranbury has called on couples not to be left behind in the post-Easter mad scramble for bathroom suites and fitted kitchens. Major furniture and bathroom superstores have announced that pre-Easter stocks are robust, but that the su...

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Boxless Boxed Sets Inventor Dyson In Dispute With Sir Clive Sinclare

Funny story: Boxless Boxed Sets Inventor Dyson In Dispute With Sir Clive Sinclare

Dangerous car and cycle inventor, Sir Clive Sinclare walked off last night's BBC Panoramic current affairs programme after Top Ghia presenter Jeremy Paxo persistently asked him questions about his alleged womanising. Fellow guest, Sir Rupert "B...

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BT Shock with £738 Million Premier League rights, 'seeing off' stern ESPN and Al Jazeera competition.

Funny story: BT Shock with £738 Million Premier League rights, 'seeing off' stern ESPN and Al Jazeera competition.

Post Office/BT Tower, LONDON: BT shockingly moved into Premier League football, after paying £738m to win the rights to show live matches from next year, with BSkyB still broadcasting the vast majority of live Premier League matches. Armchair T...

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Matt Lucas And Light Entertainment Plans Boost TV Repair Man Recruitment

Funny story: Matt Lucas And Light Entertainment Plans Boost TV Repair Man Recruitment

Plans announced this week for a swathe of new TV light entertainment programmes have boosted the numbers of volunteers for a vigilante organisation. TV Repair Man, the shadowy group pledged to ridding the TV schedules of what it describes as "moro...

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Lewis Is Back - Goes Up Against Bones

Funny story: Lewis Is Back - Goes Up Against Bones

Fans of TV sleuthing have a difficult decision to make this evening as ITV's popular Oxford-set Lewis is back, clashing with Bones on Sky Living. Lewis and his brainy sidekick Hathaway have to solve the murder of an academic who had been wrestling...

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NASA Boffins Gather In Manchester

Funny story: NASA Boffins Gather In Manchester

Space boffins from NASA and universities around the world are gathering in Manchester for a rare opportunity to study a cosmic phenomenon tonight. It is believed that representatives from the astrophysics community will be descending on the myster...

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Celtic, Scottish Cup... What's All The Fuss? Demands Expert

Funny story: Celtic, Scottish Cup... What's All The Fuss? Demands Expert

A top sports pundit has told the BBC and Sky to shut up about Glasgow Celtic and the Scottish FA Cup. "It's hilarious, isn't it" laughed EIF News & Features sport editor Thelonious Adidas, after watching the BBC's Football Focus today. "The...

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Solar flare disrupts Sky TV

Funny story: Solar flare disrupts Sky TV

Couch potatoes across the UK were left without their daily dose of Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women as a solar flare bathed the Earth knocking out Sky's Astra satellite. The several million mile long stream of high energetic particles from the sun trav...

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Sky One to launch 'Louie Spence on Gangs'

Funny story: Sky One to launch 'Louie Spence on Gangs'

Sky One has announced that Pineapple studios choreographer and Dancing on Ice judge Louie Spence is to host a re-launched and revamped '..on gangs' series. Replacing Nookie bear faced former Eastenders hard man Ross Kemp, Spence will front the new...

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Sue Perkins Plays Beethoven - 'Big Deal' Says Local Guitarist

Funny story: Sue Perkins Plays Beethoven - 'Big Deal' Says Local Guitarist

A local musician has hit out at TV celebrities airing their anxieties on entertainment shows after a new show featuring comic Sue Perkins aired last night. Ms Perkins, well known for radio shows such as Just A Minute and TV extravaganzas The Great...

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Sky recover signal from Gaga

Funny story: Sky recover signal from Gaga

Lady Gaga left Sky customers furious following her interesting choice of headgear at the 2011 EMA's. She appeared on stage wearing a satellite on her face, which caused interruption for Skyviewers causing them to lose satellite signal from their...

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Manchester City And Everton "Not Massive - But What Is It Then?"

Funny story: Manchester City And Everton "Not Massive - But What Is It Then?"

Classification of football matches needs to be standardized and clarified according to a top observer. The call follows Sky Sports' coverage of Saturday's early match between Manchester City and Everton. City ran out 2-0 winners and went to the to...

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Richard Keys Discovered To Be Missing Link

A doctor has discovered that disgraced former Sky Sports anchor, Richard Keys, is in fact more ape than man. The discovery came when the fifty year old was undergoing his routine hair removal procedure. The doctor, who has been treating Mr. Keys f...

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Popular US Sitcom Enters Ninety-Fourth Season

Funny story: Popular US Sitcom Enters Ninety-Fourth Season

There was excitement on British shores today as Cable Telly released news that the latest series of hugely popular US sitcom For Fuck's Sake! will soon be on our screens. Producer Martha Flogger, who created the series with David Deadhorse back in...

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Tabloid Scandal - A Call to Arms for True Britons!

Funny story: Tabloid Scandal - A Call to Arms for True Britons!

A blameless British population were today waking up to the true horror of the abuse suffered by them over the last thirty years. "My god, I cannot believe it!" said Derek Scutter, 31, of Billericay. " If I had known for one moment that all that stuff about murdered schoolgirls and dead soldiers had been gained in an underhand manner, do you think I would still have paid to read it?" "I mean,...

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Football Match "Not a Classic" despite efforts of media

Funny story: Football Match "Not a Classic" despite efforts of media

Despite an extensive and prolonged media effort, last nights top of the table clash turned out to be a slightly underwhelming nil-nil draw, of the type that makes well adjusted football fans shrug philosophically and Alan Green explode in self-righte...

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Football world in shock as manager takes somewhat one sided view about decision directly affecting his team.

Funny story: Football world in shock as manager takes somewhat one sided view about decision directly affecting his team.

The world of football was stunned last night when, tired, stressed and under pressure, a football manger made a slightly one-eyed and ill-judged comment. Bill McBain, who had just seen his team lose two points in a crucial relegation battle follow...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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