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Funny satire stories about Sir Fred Goodwin

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Fred the Shred Offers to Buy Rangers

Irresponsible Scots financier Fred Goodwin has lodged a bid with the club's administrators to buy Rangers. Fred, formerly Sir Fred, said in his shed that he had the funds to rescue the popular Unionist outfit from their current malaise. "I have -...

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That's No Lady, That's Mrs Fred Goodwin!

Funny story: That's No Lady, That's Mrs Fred Goodwin!

London - Once she was the toast of the town, chatelaine of a sprawling country seat, ermine knickers, monogrammed stationery, bank accounts at C*untts & Co (now sadly bankrupted by her ex), a box at Royal Ascot and above all the title of Lady Goo...

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Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

Funny story: Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

The knighthood of RBS 'banker' Sir Fred Bad-Karma has sensationally moved back to its former home of Buckingtooth Palace. The move came around after a public outcry, namely a Mr Deesgusted from Tunbridge Wells, and the knighthood revealed to it's...

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Queen Stripped Of Title

The Queen, anachronistic monarch of the United Kingdom, has had her historical crown taken away from her by the Forfeiture Commitee. This little known and un-elected room-full of toffs - who the other day stripped poor old Fred Goodwin of his knig...

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Now the Pope may strip Fred Goodwin of his Vatican gong

Funny story: Now the Pope may strip Fred Goodwin of his Vatican gong

London - The 'God's Banker Medal' (2nd Class) is in the personal gift of His Holiness and can be rescinded at the discharge of a beretta - er...dropping of a biretta! - the Pope's mouthpiece said today. Typically recipients must show extraordinary...

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Panic as Rymans runs out of shredders three days into mobile phone tap enquiry

Funny story: Panic as Rymans runs out of shredders three days into mobile phone tap enquiry

The mobile phone hacking enquiry, currently being held by Lord Leveson in the bike sheds at News International, has found itself in dire straits, although in this case it's nothing to do with the rock group of the same name. However, "money for nothi...

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Sir Fred Goodwin eyes top IMF position

Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin eyes top IMF position

London - His fiscal attributes are the very stuff of legend. And this weekend ex-RBS boss Sir Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin has been nominated to take on the top job at the IMF. Although not endowed with the same bonking - er...banking! - gravitarse...

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Dalai Lama to change his name

Funny story: Dalai Lama to change his name

The Dalai Lama, his Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, has taken the radical option of changing his name by deed poll. From now on, he wants everyone throughout the world to refer to him simply as "Norman from Tibet". Speaking to news reporters and those...

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Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

With the news that RBS bankers are to get £950m in bonuses despite making a £1.1bn loss and costing the country hundreds of millions in cutbacks as the country props it up, it was revealed today that the bank is is in fact run by complete lucky basta...

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Pleased to meet you, hope you get my name

Funny story: Pleased to meet you, hope you get my name

Sir Fred Goodwin, aka, Fred the Shred, is reported to have joined a large group of Susan Boyle Fans in an advisory capacity. As the former boss of a Scottish bank, Sir Fred had an immediate connection with the Susan loving group who identify anyth...

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Fred "the Shred" Goodwin starts new job

Funny story: Fred "the Shred" Goodwin starts new job

Disgraced incompetent cockmuncher Fred Goodwin who singlehandledly rogered the nation (this is all my opinion, you understand), and left the Royal Bank of Scotland more f*cked than a Canvey Island Primary School girl on a Saturday Night, has been hir...

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Fred The Shred Ruled The Weakest Link

Funny story: Fred The Shred Ruled The Weakest Link

BBC quiz programme The Weakest Link is known for the insulting remarks made by Ann Robinson at the contestants as well as how the weaker contestants use their votes to gang up on the stronger. This is a true reflection of how cruel life can be for ma...

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Sir Fred to the rescue

Funny story: Sir Fred to the rescue

Sir Fred Goodwin, the former boss of the wheezing and coughing banking giant, Royal Bank of Scotland, has leapt to the defence of MP's who are coming under scrutiny for their excessive expenses claims. Speaking via satelite phone from his personal...

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"Fred the Shred" to go on tour

Funny story: "Fred the Shred" to go on tour

Sir Fred "The Shred" Goodwin, villain of the Royal Bank of Scotland collapse, is to go on a lecture tour of UK, it has been announced. Sir Fred, represented by Cliff Maxford, has lined up a series of 21 dates in British towns throughout June. The...

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Sir Fred Goodwin meets his match!

Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin meets his match!

Sir Fred Goodwin, former head of the Royal Bank of Scotland has had several windows broken at his Edinburgh home as well as the windows of his beloved sports car smashed by vandals. Sir Fred decided to rectify the situation and spend some of his pens...

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Pension grows as clueless mob storm the Edinburgh lair of former banking vampire.

Funny story: Pension grows as clueless mob storm the Edinburgh lair of former banking vampire.

The furious but inept mob baying for Goodwins blood and brandishing an array of weapons warned of more attacks on UK wankers. The warning preceeded the attack on Sir Fred Goodwins castle of evil by a pitch fork, and torch wielding mob who promptly bu...

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Stone-throwing vandals thanked the BBC today, for telling them the exact address of Royal Bank of Toytown chief Sir Fried Eggwin

Funny story: Stone-throwing vandals thanked the BBC today, for telling them the exact address of Royal Bank of Toytown chief Sir Fried Eggwin

In Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, hundreds of people looking for someone to blame for that bank's financial problems streamed towards Sir Fried Goodwin's house, after the BBC showed the exact street and house number of that house on its televi...

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Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

The Edinburgh home of former Royal Bank of Scotland boss Sir Fred Goodwin has been damaged overnight. Windows of the house and Mercedes S600 car parked in the driveway were smashed. The police are appealing for witnesses or anyone who may know w...

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