As I wander round this great country of ours, I have come across a many a sign that is completely pointless, useless and a waste of materials.
The first one I cam across was a badly handwritten sign in an optician's window. It was written on a sheet of A5 paper, in red ball point pen and said "Free eye tests tomorrow". Who was this sign aimed at? It was, in itself, a free eye test. If you could...
In a bid to help the blind and partially sighted, a new scheme of Street Braille is to be rolled out across the UK after a successful trial in Stockport.
Over the coming weeks, bumps will appear on pavements across Britain's streets informing the...
A large group of people seen milling about outside a factory in Lancaster have been identified as the Sign Writers' Union.
The members of the Sign Writers' Union (SUW) had gone on strike and formed a picket line to protest against their pay and co...
18. When you start getting less than 25 take-away leaflets through your door each day.
17. When the rioters torch police stations, without using petrol, just wood and old newspapers.
16. When William Hague cuts down his posh hotel room weekend rendezvous to with only one male assistant.
15. Shop assistants start to say please, and thank you.
14. Suicide is made legal, pills available @...
Just in time for Spring and Summer, the Astrological Star Society based in Jackson Hole, Wyoming has expanded its customized translations for the workforce by including specialized astrology readings for working class women and men in the Crack Whore profession. Starting in May, the A.S.S. will publish new insight gleaned from the stars to guide your personal and professional lives. The stars are...
All the below are genuine signs noted by people throughout the UK.
Sign in a launderette:
Automatic washing machines - please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
Sign in a London department store:
The Bargain Basement is now upstairs.
Outside a farm in Nottinghamshire:
Horse manure 50p per pre-packed bag 20p do-it-yourself.
In a Security Company office:
After taking...
In the event that you are showing signs of adopting any of the traits or habits below, and you are under 30 years of age, then you are maturing too fast!
In the event that you are over 30, and not finding any of the traits below are applicable to you - then you are childish and underdeveloped mentally.
1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
2. You get more excited about h...
After many complaints from fans, the Board of Directors of the Stadium have agreed on designating certain strategically located Rest Rooms for those who "have to go really bad."
Stadium Security have gone through extensive training and will be on...
Shoppers in High Wycombe were sent in to a tizzy on Thursday last, when jokers put up a myriad of fake signs in the town centre.
Local man Billy Bunce was astounded. "I was astounded," he said.
The first sign was noticed pointing to a large bui...
Whippingham - Mayor Tom Shovel and Council voted unanimously last night to install traffic control signs at all major intersections of roads in town. The signs will be octagonal in shape and red in colour to attract attention.
Mayor Shovel said "The increase in tourist traffic in the summer in combination with an increase in visitors from Ryde has put a strain on our roadways. The new traffic...
Councillors for the Isle of Wight are up in arms with the Highways Agency.
A new road sign has been erected on Forest Road heading towards Somerton (pictured), which plainly states "Isle of White".
"We are not amused," said Ophelia Keyhole, 39, wife of Jeremiah Keyhole, leader of the Isle of Wight Chamber of Commerce. "The Isle of Wight has been called this for centuries, how can the highway...
Trading standards have successfully sued the government over misleading speed camera signs. Speeder John Wilson contacted trading standards to complain that the cameras used by police are nothing like the ones shown on the signs.
The high court j...
Hackers in Austin, Texas broke into several electronic road signs yesterday and modified each to display various zombie-related messages, something that Texas Public Works found to be funny, not!
They included:
Caution! Zombies! Ahead!
Nazi...
Pratts District Council wants to clean up its highway designations, hence road and street names with rude connotations could soon be banned around Sussex to avoid "deliberate misinterpretation".
But throughout England streets with names like 'Grop...
An irate pop music fan from Loughton, Lance Lyde, is suing the Department for Public Works over a sign outside the pub he frequents.
We saw some great signs on our recent trip to Florida. Below is a Top 7 list. Three of these are real signs we actually saw, and four are made up. Can you guess which are real? Scroll down to the bottom and I'll list the real ones.
Everyone knows those weird little people on restroom and crosswalk signs. A newly released design warns bathroom seekers to hurry up, it's a long to the nearest relief.
"Safety First" is getting more complicated than ever. The number of law suits has sky-rocketed as the American public stumbled upon more unusual, unpredictable and generally brainless ways to cause themselves bodily injury. As a result national park...