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Shopping centre evacuated after spillage

Funny story: Shopping centre evacuated after spillage

A busy shopping centre was evacuated after a water spillage occurred inside. The spillage is thought to have started on the ground floor of Wilkinson in The Pentagon Shopping Centre in Chatham, Kent at 5:30pm while a janitor was cleaning the floor...

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Giant axis found in shopping centre

Funny story: Giant axis found in shopping centre

Shoppers at Gateshead's largest shopping centre had to leave hurriedly when the centre began to spin around faster than usual. A team of retail scientists specializing in shopping centres rushed to the scene, and pinpointed the exact centre of the...

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Queensland mall rat squad gets new name

The new squad created by the Queensland police to deal with the growing problem of mall rats has been given a new name. The squad of 50 full time front-line officers equipped with specialised equipment, including digital encrypted radio equipment...

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New police squad to deal with mall rats

The Queensland Police today announced the creation of a new division that would handle the growing problem of 'mall rats' otherwise known as 'twelvies' in Australia. Constable Bob Smith, 19, will head the squad and be responsible for its day-to-da...

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Nottingham Pensioner Injured by Christmas Shoppers!

Funny story: Nottingham Pensioner Injured by Christmas Shoppers!

A Nottingham Pensioner, Inchcock Chambers (65) has been injured in the Victoria Shopping centre, whilst struggling to walk through (he had no money for any purchases) the shopping mall, amidst the packed early Christmas shopping crowds. Medical at...

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Nottingham City Council to introduce 'Pedestrian Licences'

Funny story: Nottingham City Council to introduce 'Pedestrian Licences'

Bad News today, for the remaining retail outlets that have not gone bankrupt in Nottingham. Local Councillor Mick Stupp explained: This new initiative will blend in with the 'Workplace Parking Levy', our 'Increased City Centre Car Parking Charges, and 'Selective Road Tolls'. It's handy for us that we have so many empty retail units in the City Centre, that we can use for PWLA (Pedestrian 'Wa...

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Shopping Centres Overrun By Happy Snappers

Funny story: Shopping Centres Overrun By Happy Snappers

Shopping centres around the country were overrun by hundreds of flashers today. Snappy enthusiasts descended on the malls to pursue their hobby following the relaxation of rules banning photography. The excitement comes after Chris White was ch...

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Oddest sign of the month, seen in Nottingham's Victoria Shopping Centre

Funny story: Oddest sign of the month, seen in Nottingham's Victoria Shopping Centre

I would like to offer some advice/tips, for the owner of the Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate Mobility Scooter, that I unthinkingly attacked as it ran over me here in the Nottingham shopping centre today 17th September 2011. During a shopping expedition, I was stood, carrier bags by my side, resting my arthritic knee, and coping with the sternum pains from my cardiac operation, leant on my walk...

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Pontypridd precinct 'demolished by autumn'

Funny story: Pontypridd precinct 'demolished by autumn'

Wales is in the news again, but this time for something a little more news-worthy than Ewe Fancying. Full demolition of a shopping precinct in Pontypridd, considered an eyesore by many residents, is to be completed by the autumn. The inclement...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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