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Funny satire stories about Sherlock Holmes

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The Case of The Mysterious Face Jammer

Panic in the streets of small town continued tonight as the mysterious face jammer claimed yet another victim, this time outside of the bespoke chickens shop on 'dash-it-all street'. Chief inspector Williams has been drafted in from the 'super-duper...

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The Glass Scimitar Chapter One; A Porlock Soames Adventure

Funny story: The Glass Scimitar Chapter One; A Porlock Soames Adventure

Being An Excerpt From The ReminiscencesOf Dr James H Flotsam, M. D.,late of the Secret Service Medical Department Chapter One: Mr Porlock Soames In the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Hatmaking from the University of Budleigh Salterton, and proceeded to Aldeburgh to undergo the course prescribed for surgeons in the Secret Service. Finding that I was refused entry to the students'...

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Bubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show

Funny story: Bubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show

It's a Reality Show. Its name, you ask? The Three Watsons, of course! Early reports say that the three celebs are having a difficult time getting along with each other. No problem, experts say, as controversy fuels Reality TV. But maybe not...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

When I opened my eyes I saw red coals, licking flames. My left leg was burning. Above me, giant faces loomed; they were contorted hideously. Had I truly descended to hell? I had not. I looked about me. I was in the sitting room at 221b Candlestick Maker Street. The faces were those of Inspector Stanley Livingstone Stanley and - my God! - could it really be my friend Shylock Humes? I moaned, an...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IX; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IX; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Falling, I fell forever into fathomless blackness. Tumbling, I was helpless. Into what, I could not know, only that plunge I must, and for eternity. Was this Hell itself, was it Pandaemonium through which I plummetted? And yet, there were glimpses, terrible, desperate fleeting visions, of a world so dear. Of a world forever closed to me. Our bedroom, at home, the smell of lavender. The lovely f...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VIII; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VIII; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

My friend Shylock Humes and I were crouching on the lawn of the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, waiting for our friends from Scotland Yard to gather their forces for the final push into the villa, where it was my fervent hope that we would at last encounter the denouement of The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose. Shylock Humes turned to me. In order to do this, he...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VII; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VII; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

My friend Shylock Humes and myself were sitting in a London growler, in the inky-shadowed street outside the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers. This villa was, I hoped, to be the scene of the great denouement of our adventure, in which all the various skeins, threads and loose ends gathered so painstakingly by my friend, would at last be tied, tidied and secured in lots of lov...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VI; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VI; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

My friend Shylock Humes and I sat in the four-wheeler, in the inky-shadowed street outside the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers and host of the Annual Convention of Not-Quite Correct Things. We waited on the arrival of Inspector Arbuthnot Williams of Scotland Yard, who ought by now to have been relieved from his vigil at 345 Bombay Road by Inspector Stanley Livingstone Sta...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt V; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt V; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

My friend Shylock Humes, Inspector Stanley Livingstone-Stanley and I were jogging through the suburbs of Norwood in a London growler, bound, as we thought, for the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, who was there hosting the Annual Convention of Not Quite Correct Things, for there it was, according to Humes, that we should, at last, attain the longed-for denouement of the Adve...

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Sherlock Holmes's Fury At Dartmoor Parking Charges

Funny story: Sherlock Holmes's Fury At Dartmoor Parking Charges

A top local detective is furious at the introduction of parking charges on Dartmoor. The move follows cuts to the national park's funding. There has been an angry reaction to plans to replace "honesty boxes" with £4-a-day ticket machines. But m...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IV; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IV; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Inspector Stanley Livingstone-Stanley and I sat silently, as we lurched along through the winter evening streets of London. We were sitting in a two-horse brougham opposite a Bolivian admiral who was on his way to the Annual Convention of Not Quite Correct Things, which is an event hosted by Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, and is a veritable Mecca to those with a penchant for the re...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt III; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt III; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Inspector Stanley Livingstone Stanley and I stood in the sitting room at 221b Candlestick Maker Street, waiting for Shylock Humes to emerge from his bedroom. I had donned my Littlehampton waterproof coat with detachable 24 inch cape, in navy worsted serge. I was forced to wear the worsted one. My bestest coat had been at the Chinese laundry for a week or two, along with my Harris Tweed duck-sho...

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Benedict Cumberbatch schmoozed to play Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon

Funny story: Benedict Cumberbatch schmoozed to play Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon

London - Studio bosses are desperate to secure the services of the Sherlock star whose uncanny facial resemblance makes him a dead ringer for Gary McKinnon. Benedict Cumberbatch is being headhunted to play the controversial Pentagon hacker in a ne...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt II; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt II; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Having clambered down from the scaffolding, I made my way to the window, where my friend Shylock Humes was looking out onto a wintry Candlestick Maker Street. "Yes, doctor", said Humes, "this is the carriage I was expecting." "But there is something amiss here!" I ejaculated, and immediately regretted it. Mrs Dudson was away visiting her cousin Effie at Ecclefechan. How would we clear up in...

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The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt I; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt I; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

It was upon the second morning after the first Christmas since my first marriage that I had called upon my friend Shylock Humes in order to wish him the compliments of the season. There had been a hard frost overnight, which had given the fresh snow of Boxing day the character of sugar icing. The vile alleys were full of frozen drunkards and perished prostitutes, and the urchin children begged...

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Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Six

Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Six

My friend Shylock Humes sat by the fire, subjecting the cardboard box Inspector Arbuthnot Williams had brought, to the most intimate and discerning scrutinies possible to man. I say man. I could not speak for woman, apart from our housekeeper, Mrs Dudson, whose scrutinies were generally limited to questions of domestic order, and were far from intimate or discerning. I say order. What I should per...

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Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Five

Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Five

My friend Shylock Humes stood before the fireplace in his smoking jacket. I shook my head. "Come away from the fire, Humes", I adjured. "I told you you would catch fire if you stood so close." Before my friend could answer, the doorbell rang. To be more accurate, someone rang it. We did once try a self-ringing doorbell, which I had purchased from an ininerant self-ringing doorbell hawker, but w...

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Shylock Humes And The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Four

Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Four

My friend Shylock Humes looked at our remarkable visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling - for it was indeed he - and spoke directly. His voice was like the crowing of a cock on a summer morning in Norfolk, when the sun begins to burnish the enormous sky and the windmills glow like rare moonstones. Fifteen minutes later, we had begun to tire of these farmyard impressions. My personal...

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National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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