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Funny story: Zombie Leadership Worried!

Zombie Leadership Worried!

The numbers of the zombie population have drastically dropped in recent decades, because their primary food source, namely that of brains, has been found sadly wanting in our younger generations. Somewhere between the nineteen-eighties and the year t...
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Funny story: Private equity underpants down

Private equity underpants down

Shares in Private Equity, manufacturers of men's underpants, decreased markedly after safety inspectors discovered design faults. Midriff bands had weakened during the recession, possibly due to severe weakening of essential commodities. Privat...
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Funny story: Price of Jelly Baby Shares Go Up on Playground

Price of Jelly Baby Shares Go Up on Playground

BIRMINGHAM - On the Playground Stock Exchange (PGSE), the price of Jelly Babies (JEB) has risen due to the drop in sales of Smarties (SMT). JEB reached a high in 2010, however it was deflated upon the news that sales of Jawbreakers (JBR) were pick...
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Funny story: "FTSE Share Boom To Go On Booming" Claims Gordon Brown

"FTSE Share Boom To Go On Booming" Claims Gordon Brown

Ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced last night that the current surge in the FTSE 100 index will continue for a long while yet. "If only people could see what I see", he sighed. "This is the real thing. A genuine Boom. The kind I always pred...
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Funny story: LSE's Share Of Trade Stabilised: Dirty Tricks Denied

LSE's Share Of Trade Stabilised: Dirty Tricks Denied

The London Stock Exchange has denied that it has used bullying tactics to stabilise its share of blue-chip trading. Figures show that the LSE's share of trading over the past five months has averaged at 57 per cent. But allegations by rivals th...
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Funny story: FTSE Surge As Defeated England Return To WAGS

FTSE Surge As Defeated England Return To WAGS

Having ended the week on its lowest close since June 8th, the FTSE sprang back to life this morning on the news that England footballers were heading home to their WAGS. Shares in Household Goods made strong gains, boosted by stories that several...
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Funny story: Stocks & Shares Advice

Stocks & Shares Advice

Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or selling of stocks, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON. Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks: American Can, Interstate Water, National Gas Company, and Northern Tissue Company. Due to uncertain market conditions,...
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Funny story: Theo Walcott Shares Go Through The Roof!

Theo Walcott Shares Go Through The Roof!

Theo Walcott, Arsenal's three-goal England teenage matchwinner in Croatia on Wednesday night, has ignited the national team's charge towards World Cup qualification, and done his own personal value no harm either, as shares in him on the Stock Market...
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Funny story: Shares in Sharing Drop

Shares in Sharing Drop

The once popular business of sharing has met with stiff opposition from greedy bastards and is seriously in decline.
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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