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Funny story:  Afterlife Sex Shifts To New Topic, Part 5

Afterlife Sex Shifts To New Topic, Part 5

A question about sex in the after life was the first "Question Of The Week" from the planet Sophia 69. The answer can be found in my second and third columns about that planet. An answer to another question, "Why Doesn't The U.S. Government Make manufactures of the Chevrolet Volts and Cobalts Affix Death's Head's To The Doors of The Vehicles?" as been put on hold. The reason given in a commu...
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Funny story:  "Well, if I have to tell you" Is Baffling to Most Men

"Well, if I have to tell you" Is Baffling to Most Men

In an intimate romantic relationship between a man and a woman, it is inevitable that at some point the woman will say a sentence that begins with the words "Well, if I have to tell you." Depending on the specific relationship, sentences of this type...
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Funny story:  Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Esther Montgomery Mellencamp says that her husband, Homer Cougar Mellencamp is a wild animal in bed at night. She told The Georgia Dudley Tribune, a small newspaper in a small town, that she didn't mind telling this to us by phone as all their nei...
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Funny story:  Vaseline Still Better Than Ky-Jelly!

Vaseline Still Better Than Ky-Jelly!

A company representative for a Research Firm that needed some door to door work got a volunteer who told them that he needed some exercise anyway and so he volunteered. After three doors being shut in his face, a lady in her late 20s came to the d...
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Funny story:  Is There Sex In The Afterlife?  Part 3

Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 3

As everyone on earth now knows - this is my third column on this - beings from the planet Sophia 69 have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. Details of how this has affected media content...
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Funny story:  Horny Moleturds Renew Marriage Vows!

Horny Moleturds Renew Marriage Vows!

After splitting up a month ago, Kenneth and Carole Moleturd have gotten back together after 28 years of marriage. As we reported in the Mississippi Meadowlark, Kenneth heard Carole sing "You Lost They Loving Feeling" on Karaoke and he said she loo...
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Funny story:  Is There Sex In The Afterlife?  Part 2

Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 2

As everyone on earth now knows, beings from the planet Sophia 69, that harbors extraordinarily intelligent extra-terrestrial life, have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. As reported in...
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Funny story:  Fred Moleturd Found Hung After Weird Sex

Fred Moleturd Found Hung After Weird Sex

According to Coroner Jim Bob Williams, Fred Moleturd was attempting some kind of weird sex with ropes and wires and pudding when he slipped on the pudding and hung himself. This happened nearly a month ago but other news has taken up most of the n...
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Funny story:  White House Bans "Doing It" in the Lincoln Bedroom

White House Bans "Doing It" in the Lincoln Bedroom

WASHINGTON, DC - After the World Daily News reported that the Clintons had used the Lincoln bedroom as a brothel for donors, President Barack Obama has issued a statement, condemning the practice and has banned anyone from "doing it" in the Lincoln b...
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Funny story:  Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Dear Mom, Well we have been married two months today and I have been wanting to discuss something with you but couldn't do it in person or on the telephone since the government bugs everything, including e-mails. It's a little embarrassing but I was wondering if when you and dad got married did he want to have sex all the time? I can understand most nights but not all the time. I love Bi...
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Funny story:  Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Send Each Other Sexy Pics & Videos

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Send Each Other Sexy Pics & Videos

While they are working away from each other Stars Justin Bieber and Selena send each other some very sexy pics, showing only a few lame ones to the press just to keep things interesting. "You should see the ones they don't put out there", we were...
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Funny story:  Switching to Axe Products Does Not Ensure  Casual Sex

Switching to Axe Products Does Not Ensure Casual Sex

Based on the experiences reported by most of the men interviewed, using Axe brand personal products did not have the effect of them bettering their sex life. The findings are based on anecdotal information from a series of random interviews of men e...
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Funny story:  Husband Refuses to Have Sex With Wife unless Opossums are Present

Husband Refuses to Have Sex With Wife unless Opossums are Present

Trudy Kinks of New York City says that she and her husband may have to split up for awhile until they get something straightened. "And I'm not referring to penis pills either", she told several family members. Trudy explained that she and Morri...
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Funny story:  Scientists promise New Robotic Arm will make masturbation "incredible"

Scientists promise New Robotic Arm will make masturbation "incredible"

Scientists in San Francisco have unveiled a new robotic arm at the 2014 Technology Spring Convention. The machine which has taken 8 years to make, is made of steel but wrapped in a case of plastics made to resemble human skin. Head scientist Roger...
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Funny story:  My neighbour's orgasm broke my conservatory roof

My neighbour's orgasm broke my conservatory roof

A woman from Grimsby has a whole street to herself after ALL of her neighbours moved out because of her noisy lovemaking. Lucy Cox 34, says she has a "normal, healthy sex life" but it would seem the former residents of Endsleigh Close would strongly...
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Funny story:  "The Tonight Show": a lost episode?

"The Tonight Show": a lost episode?

HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Had Ed McMahon lived long enough to see the sex tape of his famous boss, Johnny Carson, that's reportedly being offered, privately, for sale to the highest bidder, McMahon might have amended his famous introduction of the Tonight Sho...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods Has A Horrible Feeling That His Golfing Days Are Numbered

Tiger Woods Has A Horrible Feeling That His Golfing Days Are Numbered

LAS VEGAS - Legendary golfer Tiger Woods recently talked with a reporter with The Sports Bet Gazette about his recurring back problem. Woods told Zorro La Bamba with SBG that his back had been feeling okay up until a few days ago. La Bamba aske...
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Funny story:  Scientists In Nova Scotia Report That Seagulls Are Mysteriously Mating With Seals

Scientists In Nova Scotia Report That Seagulls Are Mysteriously Mating With Seals

HALIFAX, Nova Scotia - Scientists in Nova Scotia are totally baffled at a certain act that is presently taking place in the Canadian province. Dr. Chester Liverpool, with Nova Scotia's Department of Animals, Birds, and Fish has remarked that he an...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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