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Funny story: One Day Datebots Say No To Oldies

One Day Datebots Say No To Oldies

A spokesman for the Union of One Day Datebots has announced that the escort automatons will no longer accept the custom of older homo sapiens. In a surprise move, the robots have declared that they would deny their service to both mammals over the...
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Funny story: Libido, the Whip, and the Wardrobe - the great works of literature rewritten as erotic fantasies

Libido, the Whip, and the Wardrobe - the great works of literature rewritten as erotic fantasies

Various works of irrelevant fantastical fiction are being recalled to be rewritten as erotica. In the wake of the financial triumph and critical failure of 'mummy-porn' movie Fifty Shades of Grey, publishers have decided to re-publish best-selling...
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Funny story: Bachelorette Two Hour Anal Sex Episode - Highest ratings in TV History - Guaranteed!

Bachelorette Two Hour Anal Sex Episode - Highest ratings in TV History - Guaranteed!

In my opinion a special cornholing edition of The Bachelorette would DRIVE 40 million viewers to this program and be a breakout example - once and for all - of what American Morons really want in escapist reality programming in this cultural era best defined by Chris Hitchens in his book: The Age of Ilusion - (The Rise of Spectacle AND The Triumph of Illiteracy) Week 3 of the latest season o...
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Funny story: Critics Blast Common Core Sex Education Standards For Emphasizing Technique

Critics Blast Common Core Sex Education Standards For Emphasizing Technique

Washington DC - The Obama Administration's education department has come under fire for re-writing the nation's sex education standards so that they emphasize technique. The new standards, summarized in a recent Department of Education press relea...
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Funny story: Obama Gives Evolution Explanation

Obama Gives Evolution Explanation

Washington DC - Under fire for asking Republicans scientific questions but giving Democrats a pass, reporters swarmed President Obama as he and the First Lady were leaving a fashionable Georgetown restaurant and demanded he explain to them the theory...
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Funny story: Having A Truly Gigantic Cock Correlates Strongly With Low Life Time Earnings, Study Finds

Having A Truly Gigantic Cock Correlates Strongly With Low Life Time Earnings, Study Finds

It turns out that having a massive penis is not the umitigated blessing most men aged 8 through 80 think it to be. Though it may boost mightily one's self-esteem, a recent research study says it can be quite hard on the pocketbook. In a paper tit...
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Funny story: Baseball Bat Sized Vibrators Now Preferred By Most Pinch-Mouth Prudes

Baseball Bat Sized Vibrators Now Preferred By Most Pinch-Mouth Prudes

BILLINGSGATE POST: With all of the mystique regarding forbidden sexual pleasure that has been generated by the movie, "50 Shades of Gray," it was only a matter of time until the ultimate WMD (Weapon of Male Dysfunction) was unveiled. Based on th...
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Funny story: Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Once again, Pope Francis is trying to manage the intimate details of the lives of his flock. Previously, in a mixed metaphor, the pontiff raised eyebrows by suggesting that the faithful, who are made in God's image, are "not rabbits" and should no...
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Funny story: New Sexy Religious Shows Debut On Cable

New Sexy Religious Shows Debut On Cable

TV Land's The CornHole Man, debuting June 20, which will attempt to capture the reality of all the Christian Fundamentalist hypocrisy and bullshit stars Cedric the Entertainer as a former R&B music star who returns to his Christian roots as pasto...
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Funny story: Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Cambridge-Nearly half the faculty at Harvard (49.2%) have submitted their resignations to the college over its new policy forbidding sexual relations with students. The group includes LGBT professors and graduate instructors alike, who say that t...
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Funny story: Wordwide Coyote Arm Conference Attracts Millions of Followers

Wordwide Coyote Arm Conference Attracts Millions of Followers

Men -from around the world - who have chewed off their arm so as to not risk waking the "Beast" they found snuggled up next to them after a drunken night of partying - joined together in Basil Switzerland today -To celebrate their collegial honor and...
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Funny story: Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Misao Okawa is a Japanese supercentenarian who is, at the age of 116 years, 333 days, the world's oldest living person, holding the title since the death of 116-year-old Japanese man Jiroemon Kimura. Interviewed in Tokyo just thirty two days befor...
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Funny story: Bill Clinton Honors The Man Who Invented "The Oral Contraceptive"

Bill Clinton Honors The Man Who Invented "The Oral Contraceptive"

Bill Clinton has come out to lead the honors being bestowed on the eminent chemist Carl Djerassi, the scientist who developed the first contraceptive pill. Bill Clinton commented: "No one has done more for horny men worldwide than Carl Djerassi! I...
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Funny story: Plethysmographic Research says Conservatives are Sexually Repressed and Brain Damaged

Plethysmographic Research says Conservatives are Sexually Repressed and Brain Damaged

Dr Moishe Pipick head of The Worldwide Center for Sexual Research at Berne University in Berne Switzerland stated today: "Our latest analysis of the causes of regressive behavior seen mostly in Christian Conservatives clearly shows that sexual re...
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Funny story: Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

A new Republican bill before Congress criminalizes coitus interruptis --the act of male withdrawal during heterosexual intercourse seconds before orgasm so as to avoid pregnancy. "If we're going to illegalize abortion and birth control," said Rep...
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Funny story: Senator Inhofe - Energy Committee Chair - Claims Fossil Fuels and CO2 "Great For Libido"

Senator Inhofe - Energy Committee Chair - Claims Fossil Fuels and CO2 "Great For Libido"

Jim Inhofe, chair of the environment and energy committee, has released findings from his own research that fossil fuels and CO2 are a natural elixir for the human spirit. Jim explained: "When I do barbecue at my ranch in Oklahoma and I eat that...
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Funny story: 80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

Teheran - Iranian sexologist Sheik Ratel-n-Rol, the "Renegade Imam" is on the run again tonight after publishing Goggle's 2014 statistical analysis of internet porn use on his popular "Under the Hijab" sex-discussion blog. According to the report...
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Funny story: CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

LANGLEY, VA --CIA Director, John O. Brennan held a rare press conference today where he attempted to defend CIA torture post 9/11. Brennan, contradicting former CIA Directors, said, "It is unknowable whether useful intelligence was ever obtained...
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Showing page 1 (of 66 pages)
Breaking News...

Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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