SAINT PAUL, MN--In what police have described as "a complete waste of our time," local spoof writer Greg Johnson has reportedly gone on a blood-filled, one-starring rampage, leaving an estimated 17 articles in his wake.
"We have no idea why he did...
WINTER HAVEN, FL (ABSNN) -A thirty-five year old Winter Haven, Florida man stands accused of serial murder today and faces years in prison. Reginald Owen Seer, Jr. claims the slaughter of the innocents was food preparation.
His wife and Win...
Police fear a serial killer may be at large after two bodies were found in the quiet village of Northenden.
Top Manchester Detective, Cain Yohelpus said late Saturday night a headless body was found in a field by a man out dumping his dog.
Th...
Britain's most notorious female serial killer, Rose West, is reportedly about to publish a cookbook, according to a prison service source . West was sentenced to life in prison in 1995, having been convicted on ten counts of murder and various dodgy...
The murderous Porsche 550 that killed legend-because-he'd-dead movie star James Dean -- which was believed to have been lost for 50 years-- has unsheathed it's merciless daggar of death, beginning it's killing spree again.
Police say that the car...
Suspected serial killer, Alfred De Bundy has contacted Skoob News International as his execution date draws ever closer, pleading his innocence and appealing for help.
De Bundy, currently incarcerated in the Upstate Federal Penitentiary in downtow...
After a five year study into UK murders Greater Manchester police have come to the conclusion that people who commit murder are irrational.
"We have monitored the murders over the past five years," said detective inspector Jim Taggart. "What this...
Saint Andrews Golf Course, Scotland. The serial killer named the Mashie Monster attempted to claim another victim last night but was foiled when the sprinkler system came on and his prey, a night grounds keeper, escaped. The drenched Mashie Mons...
Gloucester Police were gobsmacked yesterday when an irate elderly man walked into the police station and reported Fred West to them, demanding his arrest.
The elderly man said that he was sick and tired of waiting for West to come and install a pa...
It was revealed today that serial killer John Johnson, who allegedly is responsible for the murder of nineteen young woman in this small Michigan town, had routinely complained to official's about his neighbor's loud and rude behavior. The complaints...
In an ironic twist of the 120 year old unsolved Jack the Ripper case, a new clue has been provided regarding the author of the 'Dear Boss' letter which first attached the nickname to the killer.
And that clue comes from former tabloid editor, Kelv...
Silly rabbit! If you hadn't been in the alley behind the supermarket sneaking a box of Trix (they're for kids!), you might not have been murdered by a cereal killer!
The crime, the third this month, was the first to take place in an open area out...
One time naturalist and animal lover Doctor John 'Fishy' Dolittle has been arrested and charged with the murder and mutilation of over 16 people over the past 6 years.
The doctor, who had a brief spell of fame with his 'talking to the animals' tri...
The gang gather in the dilapidated house.
Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen.
Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents.
"Where'd he go?" Buck shouts.
"Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says.
Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...
"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts.
He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat.
"You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it."
The woman squeals.
Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances.
Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes na...
Our friends tread carefully into the dilapidated house.
It's a dump, but at least they can hear the raging storm outside, so they understand that they are rapidly approaching freedom...
When a voice cuts them all to the quick.
As opposed to cutting them to the slow.
Which would be taking dramatic license too far.
All they could hear prior to this interruption was the sound of their...
Angie is feeling deflated because she never got the chance to sing her karaoke version of Gloria Gaynor's feminist anthem, 'I Will Survive.'
Her nipples haven't given up the ghost just yet though. They're as upstanding as a pair of Chrysler wheel nuts.
Boyfriend Todd isn't much consolation either. Not since Angie learned that her mother gave him a blow job.
She's really pissed off.
"Ba...
Omaha, Nebraska - A serial do-gooder has been hunting the students and faculty of Creighton University, and for some time been taunting the police, it was admitted today.
In a hastily called press conference, Chief Andrew Wiles confirmed what the...