Why are so many older Americans purchasing their penis pointer drugs in Mexico these days?
"I pay $2 for a 20mg Levitra down in Tijuana where it costs $36 here so why do you think?", states one couple just returning to the United States."
Monday 10th September
* Up early (0400hrs) to do diaries in time to go to the launderette.
* Amazing find - outside the launderette, there has been a public telephone box for many years, but as with so many, the use of the mobile phone has lessened the need for these old phone boxes. They have replaced it with an cash machine (ATM) the same size and shape of the old telephone box. I was chat...
Nottingham's Senior Citizen Bartholomew Utterswaithe's, was heard in his bedroom this morning.
The verbal sounds that emanated from that room, were weird, hard to describe and lasted for a good two minutes or so.
I will attempt here to reproduce them in written form, for I would like to know exactly what it was he was doing, and thought someone might be able to inform me.
Monday 3rd September
* Gawd heavens... new pains in groin today.
* Went over to see the lovely Margaret. She seemed a little less tired today. Walked her home, and I invested in some Health lottery tickets... I am a fool, as if I stood a chance... huh!
* No walks today, spent ages on laptop, burnt another saucepan, and dropped then stood on a tomato.
* By gum life's exciting!
Monday 27th August 2012:
* Up early, medications (all bar water tablets) then did the Spoof diaries for the day. During which I only required four visits to the WC... getting easier now.
* Wash, shave sh__, teggies tended to.
* Went over to see Stewart, but he was not in, I'd forgot it was Monday, his day at the social centre. (I know... your amazed that I should forget anything)
Monday 20th August
* Up really early to do diaries and mags - then got ready for trip out to Skeggy.
* Just made it in time to meet Sister Janet and Brother-in-law Pete for trip out on train to Skegness that they had paid for as an early birthday pressie - except only Brother-in-law Pete was there, seems I got it mixed up again and thought Janet was coming. Not so.
* Really enjoyed chinwa...
Monday 13th Aug
* Up and at em this morning - feeling better than for a long time. Medicated, ablutionised, and over the road to see Margaret, looking good.
* Walked to Bulwell, got some nosh in, and bussed home to the hovel.
* Bit of bother late on staying awake, and food came back up.
Tuesday 14th Aug
* Again, despite proper kip, I felt okay this morning.
* Medications, ablutions, diarie...
Monday 6th Aug
* Up early, went to WC - found I'd left the flipping heater on all night again! Ah well, the utility company will be glad.
* Did diaries for Spoof, and posted them.
* Went over to ogle Margaret... she installs feelings in certain quarters that I should not be having at my age and health!
* Went for a walk afterwards, got caught in the rain, the brolly blew inside out and is now...
Monday 30th July 2012
* Hurray... some sleep last night, great!
* Remembered I'd forgot something for last Saturday's Senior Moments diary:
When I went to catch the bus back from Bulwell, I again tried to use me bank card by mistake for me bus pass! Then, got seated, got the crossword book out and failed to find any answers... then the driver told us all that the bus would not start, and...
Sunday 22nd July
* Arthritis, impetigo, angina and hernia all easier today... well this morning, but the ulcer is giving me gip. Really thought it had gone, ages since any bother, but started again a few days ago. Got to see GP's nurse in the morning (if I remember), so will ask for a prescription for Aludrox SA... oh, they stopped doing that a while ago.
* Cuppa and medications, carbolicali...
Monday 16th July 2012
* Knees and hands much easier this wet morning. Hernia bothersome, angina okay, so a good start.
* Set off on walk into town to meet Brother-in-law Pete for bus trip to Mansfield. Remembering to call at GP surgery en-route to book me CHD appointment... I thought I saw one of the receptionists smile... but I'm not certain, possibly a mild hallucination?
* Met Pete, who seem...
Monday 9th July 2012
* Still the knees are bothersome, but I got some good sleep in for once.
* Noticed that two burglar alarm lights on adjoining houses opposite were flashing on the street when I opened the windows about 0330hrs, the rain was falling (well, belting down!), and a new collection of crushed beer cans were scattered over the street outside - so, nothing unusual there!
Sunday 1st July 2012
* Woke up 0600hrs, angina pains bad, went to loo, as I passed through the kitchen, I took the burnt pan of veg stew off the stove and placed it lovingly in a bowl of water.
*WC'd made a cuppa, took medications, and did a bit on the Spoof.
Monday 2nd July 2012
* Up at 0500hrs, Spoofed a bit, took medications, made meal for the lovely Margaret, got me gigantic stack...
Monday 14th May 2012
* Stewart and Margaret away today, and no sign of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat either - again!
* Got things ready for my meeting up with Mr Chris McManus and his partner, in West Bridford. Walked to town, bought a book of old postcard photos of West Bridford, and caught the bus out to the Test Match pub where we'd arranged to meet. The bus pass refused to swipe, and the dr...
Home Office sources have revealed that the Government is to take urgent action over the definition of "senior moments."
Everyone over a certain age knows the anxiety that goes with moments like walking into a room, only to forget why.
Monday 7th April 2012
* Went over to see Stewart, I remembered that it was bank holiday, so he would not be going to his centre that day, so assumed he'd be in. No point in going over before about ten o'clock, he likes his kip. No answer. Went for a little walk as the knees were stiff and painful. Called at Stew's again, no answer. His cat was meowing to be let in, so led her to me hovel, and fed...
Sunday 22nd April 2012
* Had to stop using computer, as the pains in hands got worse than ever, and I dropped my dinner, amazingly the plate did not break though!
* PM hands a bit better, back on the keyboard!
Monday 23rd April 2012
* Had a bath, 5 min's to run it, 16 minutes wash & soak, and 15 minutes to get out of it!
* Went over to see Margaret and Stew, but they'd gone out.
Monday 16th April 2012
* Shock of the Spoof being down when I tried to open it, was not as bad as last time.
* Had bath, did teggies, shaved, had crap and changed into glad-rags, and went over the road to grope Margaret. (In my dreams!)
* Walked to get some nosh, and got the tram back. I hope someone found my fingerless gloves wot I left on the tram platform seat and has made use of them.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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An original metaphor:
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