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Senator Mitch McConnell: I have a Vagina and Can Empathize with Women on Healthcare

Funny story: Senator Mitch McConnell: I have a Vagina and Can Empathize with Women on Healthcare

The U.S. Senate has once again turned its attention to healthcare as concern over what a new conservative balance on the Supreme Court will mean. Many are concerned that a long list of pre-existing conditions will no longer be included in healthcare...

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Zuckerberg Explains Facebook to Old Guys

Funny story: Zuckerberg Explains Facebook to Old Guys

U.S. lawmakers peppered Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg with questions about the social media platform when he testified before the Senate Subcommittee on Grandstanding and Pontificating this week. “Mr. Zuckerberg, there’s something I find very troub...

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The CBR

Deep in the bowel of the stately building that houses the United States Congress lies the little-known CBR -- the Congressional Ball Repository. (The CBR is, in fact, actually located below the bowel.) The balls of incumbent Senators and Representatives are stored in a small, dusty, and damp concrete chamber where they roll around on rough pine shelves and wither and dry out over time. The long...

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Sessions hunts "Swamp Thing"

Funny story: Sessions hunts "Swamp Thing"

Washington DC - Senator Sessions got out his guitar, got together with his boys in the garage to celebrate his confirmation with a brand new set of Lyrics for "Wild Thing", reproduced below. He and the boys cranked it up so loud the swamp things got all agitated like. Swamp thing, you make my pigeon sing You make everything a felony, swamp thing Swamp , I think I hate you But I wanna kno...

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Democrats finally have enough Senate votes to stifle Americans

Funny story: Democrats finally have enough Senate votes to stifle Americans

WASHINGTON, DC - Three Democrat senators announced today that they will vote in support of the nuclear deal with Iran. In a new CNN poll, released yesterday, 56% of Americans now say they think Congress should reject the deal with Iran -- up from...

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Three States Begin Talk of Secession Over Marriage Equality

Funny story: Three States Begin Talk of Secession Over Marriage Equality

No doubt the Marriage Equality ruling by the Supreme Court has angered state lawmakers across the United States. Some however, are taking their opposition of the ruling to the next level and are now considering secession. Texas, Louisiana, and So...

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Senate undergoes conflict resolution therapy

Today, the Senate had an unusual session. Unable to pass the Patriot Act because of divisions in the Democrat and Republican parties, the Senate agreed to hear from Prof. Wilton Carlisle, the noted psychologist and conflict resolution expert, hoping...

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Obama Makes the Most Devastating Decision Ever!

Funny story: Obama Makes the Most Devastating Decision Ever!

A surprise announcement by President Barack Obama has set a tidal wave of furious debate and conflict loose all across the United States from Alaska to California. It is the most astonishing decision ever made by any president since Truman's deci...

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Hairy Reid: "I may be down for the count, but don't count me out"

Funny story: Hairy Reid: "I may be down for the count, but don't count me out"

Hairy Reid (D-NV), ousted as Senate majority leader by American voters in the last election and blinded by the light of divine revelation (God, allegedly, has shown Hairy that that it's way past time for him to surrender the reins of political power...

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No More Republican Senator "Undie Bundling"

President Obama signed an executive order today banning undie bundling by any Republican senator. "Republican senators have had their undies in a bundle for way too long. This practice has caused nothing buy gridlock and has to stop," stated the Pre...

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GOP Presidential Hopeful Thinks Earth May Be Flat

Funny story: GOP Presidential Hopeful Thinks Earth May Be Flat

Presidential aspirant Senator Marco Rubio (R-Fl) responded recently to a question from GQ about the age of the earth: The Tea Party darling said, "I'm not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible s...

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The Kansas Senate Votes Down The Bill That Would Have Legalized The Sale and Use of Marijuana

Funny story: The Kansas Senate Votes Down The Bill That Would Have Legalized The Sale and Use of Marijuana

TOPEKA, Kansas - After the governor of Kansas received several petitions asking that marijuana be legalized in the state he decided to put the matter into the hands of the Kansas Senate. State Senator Magenta Quakerquill [R-Wichita], staunchly opp...

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Senate Democrats Put Themselves on Endangered Species List

Funny story: Senate Democrats Put Themselves on Endangered Species List

WASHINGTON, DC - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid introduced a bill in the US Senate this morning, assigning Democrats to the Endangered Species List. The bill was hastily submitted after Republican David Jolly won a closely watched special elect...

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Senate Slumber Party Disrupted by Obnoxious Junior Senators

Funny story: Senate Slumber Party Disrupted by Obnoxious Junior Senators

Washington D.C.-A United States Senate slumber party was disrupted and nearly canceled altogether when what started out as a pleasant evening, filled with erstwhile discussions and fun-filled moments, quickly turned sour, thanks to the obnoxious beha...

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Italy Outlaws The Use of The Word Mafia

Funny story: Italy Outlaws The Use of The Word Mafia

ROME - Pasquale Pettigolezzo, a reporter with The Daily Vino has just stated that Italy has passed a law that it says it should have passed years ago. Pettigolezzo said that the Italian Senate voted unanimously to ban the use of the word Mafia.

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A Colorado Senator Wants To Make The Marijuana Plant The State's Official Plant

Funny story: A Colorado Senator Wants To Make The Marijuana Plant The State's Official Plant

DENVER - Senator Jimbo Quickdance [D-Denver] has already become one of the most popular senators in the Rocky Mountain State. And now he may be bucking for a shot at possibly entering the 2016 Democratic Presidential Race. Senator Quickdance ha...

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West Virginia Votes To Change The 9-1-1 Emergency Number

Funny story: West Virginia Votes To Change The 9-1-1 Emergency Number

CHARLESTON, West Virginia - State Senator Marlene W. Pillwater [D-Philippi] has just announced that the state senate has passed a bill which will change the 9-1-1- emergency number. Senator Pillwater said that after a heated debate on the senate f...

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Colorado Votes To Give Marijuana Farmers A Tax Break

Funny story: Colorado Votes To Give Marijuana Farmers A Tax Break

DENVER - Colorado State Senator Jimbo Quickdance [D-Denver] spearheaded a state bill to give the state's thousands of marijuana farmers a tax break. The bill easily passed by a vote of 31-4. Senator Quickdance stated that the marijuana industry...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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