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Critics: "Solo" is no go

Funny story: Critics: "Solo" is no go

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE — Although “Solo Sex: A Star Whores Story” is, by some accounts, “the worst movie ever made,” the news media feel obliged to cover the gooey mess, since Diznee Studios spends a lot of money advertising such fare in newspape...

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Chinese police crack sperm smuggling ring

Funny story: Chinese police crack sperm smuggling ring

Police in China have seized three gallons of sperm in an operation to stop a gang of smugglers. It is the largest ever haul of the expensive fluid, and will surely not be the last in a bizarre underworld industry which is currently booming. Sperm...

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Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Funny story: Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Baltimore, MD - He was so different. He was black but Canadian. He was black and specialized in Hockey commentary and play by play, sometimes assuming a fake French accent when he did the latter at a velocity quicker than even the most amped up Per...

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President has unusual tastin' semen

Funny story: President has unusual tastin' semen

Washington AC/DC - All hell broke loose in the White House this morning after someone ejaculated over Barack Obama's cupcake turning the candy sprinkles green. Secret service detectives immediately quarantined the foaming confection in case Pluto...

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Rush Limbaugh Sperm Mistakenly Used For Jackass

Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Sperm Mistakenly Used For Jackass

Of all the freaky things to happen, a fertility clinic which sells sperm to allow females to get pregnant by someone she admires or would like a son or daughter to have a great singing voice, all types, purchase sperm at a high price. So when they...

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Drinking semen proves to fight disease, but how much is "gay"

Funny story: Drinking semen proves to fight disease, but how much is "gay"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a recent study conducted at the University of San Francisco, researchers have determined that the consumption of human semen fights off diseases ranging from the common cold to cancer. Ralph Patterson, a freshman at USF...

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The legendary life of Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp was a sometimes-lawman, sometimes-outlaw who sometimes owned a saloon and occasionally dealt cards or shot buffalo, depending on the economy and job market of the Territory (Indiana, Kansas, Nevada, Alaska, California) in which the itinerant jack of all trades happened to hang his hat on any given day. He went by a number of aliases, including Randolph Scott, Errol Flynn, Jimmy Stewa...

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The True Story of Marvel Comics' Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom--his very name spells disaster. Not surprisingly, this gray-armored, green-robed, hoodie-clad supervillain remains one of Marvel Comics' most popular bad guys ever--so popular, in fact, that he is often soon retired after appearing, for an issue of two, usually in The Fantastic Four, the comic book that showcased his origin, for fear that he will eclipse the superheroes he fights. Not the...

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Woman Suspected Of Semen Attacks: Denies It's Hers

Funny story: Woman Suspected Of Semen Attacks: Denies It's Hers

Authorities in Maryland say a woman accused of squirting semen onto two male shoppers has been linked to three more cases. The lady who was arrested and charged with spraying the fluid on a shopper at a Giant Food store said that she has volunteer...

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Spunky Seaman Survives 40 Days on Spunk, Semen

Funny story: Spunky Seaman Survives 40 Days on Spunk, Semen

PAPUA, New Guinea -- A totally spent man who survived a 40-day ordeal arrived safely in Honiara yesterday, said authorities. Peter Chisolm, a retired naval officer from East New Britain, was lost for nearly six weeks before being found by villager...

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Scientists make 'artificial life'

Funny story: Scientists make 'artificial life'

Scientists in the US have succeeded in developing the first synthetic living cell. The researchers copied an existing bacterial genome. They sequenced its genetic code and then used "synthesis machines" to chemically construct a copy. Affectionat...

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New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire

Funny story: New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire

SAN DIEGO, California - Researchers have long known that sex can be fun, that people who have sex often tend to live longer, healthier lives, and that sexually active men have healthier sperm. What researchers did not know is that the collection o...

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Jizz Bomber Arrested

Funny story: Jizz Bomber Arrested

Potential jizz bomber Fred 'the Ted' Holden was arrested this morning on Cambridge Heath Road in London, by Bethnal Green tube station. Holden was suspected of undermining National Breast Appreciation Day by planting jizz bombs wherever bare breas...

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Confectioner Releases new candy "Semen Squares"

Funny story: Confectioner Releases new candy "Semen Squares"

Tasty Treats Inc. held a Press release stating that they will be intrducing a new candy called "Semen Squares" Made from the semen of healthy and fit 18-23 year old boys mixed with sugar and marshmellow. In the brief press statement Tasty Treats I...

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Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

Funny story: Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm. The letters were reported in Alaska,...

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Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter

Funny story: Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter

Scientists have today announced that human sperm can be genetically modified to include nutritional information and a calorie counter. The breakthrough follows years of abstinence by women who claim that sperm is fattening.

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Breast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin

Funny story: Breast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin

Following a recent report by a respected male physicist into the cancer beating properties of breast milk, men all over the world are beating a path to local hospitals in a bid to buy gallons of the white stuff.

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FDA: Cloned animals "safe-ish" to eat

Funny story: FDA: Cloned animals "safe-ish" to eat

Washington, DC - The Food and Drug Administration today declared that cloned and other genetically modified livestock are "probably" fit for human consumption.

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Breaking news…

Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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