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Funny satire stories about Secret Service

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Funny story:  New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

Reggie Mental editor of "Get Out of My Mind" details a recent interview he had with Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Fiddler ... all about a new mental illness his team of researchers claim to have discovered. "Paranoia we all know about and nobody wants. Hence the new social fear on a par with any other phobia.... it is called Paranoia-Phobia. Yes, the fear of being paranoid. Already medication, a deri...
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Funny story:  Secret service dishes dirt on Nancy and Harry

Secret service dishes dirt on Nancy and Harry

A rogue member of the secret service has shed some light on the widely held belief that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are an item. Ron 'Butch' Brown a twelve year veteran told reporters yesterday: 'Hell yeah they are' He then gleefully recalled t...
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Funny story:  Crab Gang Leader Isn't So Tough After Molting

Crab Gang Leader Isn't So Tough After Molting

Blue Point crab, Bruno Pinchaletta, was the meanest, biggest, baddest , mother fucker that ever squirted sideways in the brackish waters of the southern Chesapeake bay. The super jumbo sized crustacean ran the biggest pinching racket on the US's east coast outside of the White House's Secret Service pinching the local scenery in Columbia. Unlike the Secret Service, Bruno's gang did much more t...
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Funny story:  President Obama's Mama-In-Law Caught Using The White House Oval Office Red Phone

President Obama's Mama-In-Law Caught Using The White House Oval Office Red Phone

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secret service is doing it's very best to keep a certain late night White House Oval Office incident secret. According to a very reliable, inside source who did not want her name revealed, President Obama's mother-in-law, Ma...
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Funny story:  President Obama Manages the Latest Government Scandals

President Obama Manages the Latest Government Scandals

Washington DC: President Obama has issued an executive order that all US civilian federal employees (civil service, political appointees, elected officials) and military personnel must become monastic (male and female monks) to retain their jobs.
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Funny story:  President To Dissolve Secret Service:  Appoints Barney Frank Eunuch Czar To Form New  Palace Guard

President To Dissolve Secret Service: Appoints Barney Frank Eunuch Czar To Form New Palace Guard

BILLINGSGATE POST - Obama's chief advisor, David Axelrod, told CNN's "State of the Union" today that the President has decided to dissolve the Secret Service and replace it with an Imperial Palace Eunuch Corps. Barney Frank is to be named Eunuch Cza...
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Funny story:  President Obama Orders a Hooker

President Obama Orders a Hooker

Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker. Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a rece...
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Funny story:  US Secret Service motto: ''Worthy of trust and confidence. Buy one, get one free!"

US Secret Service motto: ''Worthy of trust and confidence. Buy one, get one free!"

As guests at the elegant Cartagena's Hotel in Cartagena, Columbia were enjoying quiet drinks and the soft music of a harpist in the hotel lounge, several agents of the US Secret Service burst through the front door of the hotel. "It was like a scene...
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Funny story:  President Obama Changes Stance on Drug Legalization After Being Caught With Bag of Weed

President Obama Changes Stance on Drug Legalization After Being Caught With Bag of Weed

Several hours after publicly declaring his opposition to the legalization of such currently prohibited drugs as heroin, cocaine and marijuana, President Barack Obama retracted his anti-legalization statement and told reporters that his administration...
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Funny story:  Biden Rent Costs Prostitutes

Biden Rent Costs Prostitutes

The big news of the weekend once again involved the President of Vice, Joe Biden. This time the attacks were two-pronged. Some might say, much like Biden's tail. In story one, it was learned that last year, the PV earned $20,900 in rental inco...
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Funny story:  Secret Service Agents Deny Sex With Columbian Coeds:  Merely "Hovering" At Discreet Distance

Secret Service Agents Deny Sex With Columbian Coeds: Merely "Hovering" At Discreet Distance

BILLINGSGATE POST - The eleven Secret Service Agents who were flown back to Washington for allegedly participating in an impromptu toga party with a like number of Columbian coeds, denied that any sexual activity occurred. A spokesperson for the Sec...
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Funny story:  President Obama Reveals That The U.S. Secret Service - Colombian Hooker Story Was Simply A CIA Diversionary Ploy

President Obama Reveals That The U.S. Secret Service - Colombian Hooker Story Was Simply A CIA Diversionary Ploy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden speaking from the White House Rose Garden informed the members of the White House press corps not to be concerned about the so called HookerGate incident. The vice-president stated that President Obama h...
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Funny story:  First Lady's fury at disgraced Secret Service agents 'road testing' of Colombian hookers

First Lady's fury at disgraced Secret Service agents 'road testing' of Colombian hookers

Washington - "A terrible thing to happen in your husband's re-erection - uh...re-election! - year, Ma'am," was how one hang-dog protection officer put it to Michelle Obama this weekend. The First Lady is livid amid reports that a dozen Secret Serv...
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Funny story:  Refurbished 'Sex-Bots' Embarrass Secret Service

Refurbished 'Sex-Bots' Embarrass Secret Service

WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
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Funny story:  Romney loses penis, blames Secret Service

Romney loses penis, blames Secret Service

ROMNEY, WV (ABSNN) Republican front-runner Mitt Romney lost his penis somewhere in Pennsylvania. He blames his Secret Service protection detail. The news of the lost penis was made public this morning in this tiny West Virginia town on the Maryland...
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Funny story:  Obama Secret Service Entourage to Use Nissan Leafs to Battle High Gas Prices, Sneak out of Town Easier

Obama Secret Service Entourage to Use Nissan Leafs to Battle High Gas Prices, Sneak out of Town Easier

In order to battle the high price of gasoline US President, Barack Obama, announced that his entire entourage of Secret Service Agents and Twitter advisors have replaced all of the current Secret Service vehicles with the fully electric Nissan Leafs.
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Funny story:  White House Fence Jumper is President's Secret Brother

White House Fence Jumper is President's Secret Brother

The secret service in Washington forced a man to lie on the ground and to move away from his backpack after he had jumped the white house fence onto the lawn. CNN was there live to catch the excitement on film, but later learned that the man has don...
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Funny story:  SEAL Team Six Prepares To "Tap"  British Officials Responsible For Ban Of Dr. Michael Savage

SEAL Team Six Prepares To "Tap" British Officials Responsible For Ban Of Dr. Michael Savage

Developing Story....American talk show host, Dr. Michael Savage, who has been fighting the ban placed on him by former British Home Secretary wacko, Jacqui Smith, announced today that he has asked friends in the Pentagon to authorize SEAL Team Six to...
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Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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