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Supermarket Shelves Containing Only Easter Eggs Are Cause Of Scunthorpe Obesity Pandemic

Funny story: Supermarket Shelves Containing Only Easter Eggs Are Cause Of Scunthorpe Obesity Pandemic

Supermarkets in Scunthorpe have taken everything from their shelves, leaving only Easter eggs, according to our Northern correspondent. Hospital A&Es are bursting at the seams with chocolate gorged fatties according to NHS sources. Scunthorpe off...

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"What we did" Accidental holiday in Scunthorpe

Funny story: "What we did" Accidental holiday in Scunthorpe

Sunday: My car broke down after picking up an Ebay won second hand Tivo from an address on the outskirts of Scunthorpe. Towed to the garage, I was told it would be one week before the mechanic could get the parts and fix it. Booking into a contractors "hotel" I settled down for the night into the common 12 bed dormitory. Anticipating being unable to sleep from the snorers, wind breakers an...

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Brian Irongrip Predicts Winner

Funny story: Brian Irongrip Predicts Winner

Brian Irongrip (34) expert predictor for all things Scunthorpe United has ended his near perfect week by making a prediction that Labour will have a new leader by 4 PM BST today. Brian, predicts that a Labour Party member will become leader today an...

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A Review of Scunthorpe Zoo

Funny story: A Review of Scunthorpe Zoo

I was assigned to review Scunthorpe Zoo today. Scunthorpe is an area rich in culture, heritage and fat girls on bikes sitting outside local supermarkets waiting for their boyfriends to return with their shoplifted loot. The Zoo is an attraction that could put the area on the map - Scunthorpe has been removed for several maps for the past few years due to lack of interest. The first thing tha...

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Orient Express? That'll Do Nicely.....

Funny story: Orient Express? That'll Do Nicely.....

Great North Eastern Railways PLC have unveiled the latest addition to their services - 'The Scunthorpe To Vladivostok Orient Express'.

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Ian Botham In "Comeback On Three Fronts" Exclusive

Funny story: Ian Botham In "Comeback On Three Fronts" Exclusive

Former England cricket captain Ian Botham is thought, today, to be one step nearer to making a sensational comeback to the international game.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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