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Funny story: Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scotland's Independence campaign took a new twist last night on a live head to head between Alexei Salmon and Jeremy Kylie. During the show Kylie opened an envelope with the results of a voluntary D.N.A test to establish whether Salmon was a love...
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Funny story: Man Unsure What Pillocks to Watch Debating

Man Unsure What Pillocks to Watch Debating

A man from somewhere was this morning weighing up the possibility of watching one of two vitally important and serious debates scheduled for our beloved televisual delights tonight. One of these debates centres around the impending cataclysmic or...
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Funny story: Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Mr Salmond found the time out of his busy schedule to speak to ace Spoof reporter FBI AL over questions he is messing with 'The Union' purely to get his name in the history books. "Well of course it's nothing to do with me getting my name in lights or in the history books as the man who tried or succeeded in making Scotland an independent nation," said Salmond, "and in no way am I laying the gr...
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Funny story: Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

After a tough week in which critics and supporters both agreed that he hadn't fared well in the first live television debate, Alex Salmond has decided to go for the youth vote, promising that never again will Scotland have to listen to the Top 40 wh...
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Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Working As Duke Of Rothesay While On Duke Of Cornwall Handouts

Prince Charles Working As Duke Of Rothesay While On Duke Of Cornwall Handouts

In an undercover sting by our ace reporter, Mr. Mahood (alias The Arab) HRH Prince Charles was filmed opening a bus shelter in Rothesay, Isle of Bute. Social Services are following up the lead, but Charles is known to be claiming millions from Cornwa...
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Funny story: Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Up to three Dukes of Edinburgh will be operated by the private sector to cope with the increase in Diplomatic duties in any new Independent Scotland. it was announced by the Palace this morning. However, the process by which this might happen is not...
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Funny story: Britain on the move

Britain on the move

England is to detach Scotland from it's seabed if voters choose in favour of independence at upcoming referendum. The plans which had been crudely scrawled on the back of a No.10 embossed napkin surfaced upon twitter this morning. They outline th...
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Funny story: Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

The best thing since sliced bread was unveiled today at a Franchise Exhibition in Chicago. An attachment the size of a USB pen drive which slots into the mouthpiece of a set of bagpipes has put an end to potential roadside flat tyre misery. The...
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Funny story: Severn Bridge Amnesty - Prisoner Exchange Imminent

Severn Bridge Amnesty - Prisoner Exchange Imminent

In a dramatic press release, The Prince of Wales has ordered the release of 202 Scotsmen and 304 Yorkshiremen from the notorious Severn Bridge Toll avoidance prison. In return, H.R.H. The Duke of Edinburgh will release 501 Welshmen imprisoned...
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Funny story: Scottish Secret Military Satellite Launch Delayed As No-One Had A Light For The Blue Touch Paper

Scottish Secret Military Satellite Launch Delayed As No-One Had A Light For The Blue Touch Paper

A proposed top secret military defence satellite launch from Glasgow Mission Control missed a launch window by minutes today when it was realised that no one had brought a lighter to light the blue touch paper with. Another launch window is avai...
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Funny story: Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

H.R.H. Prince Charles of Wales, tired of waiting to be a Welsh King has sent his LinkedIn C.V. to Alexei Salmon, who Charles thinks may soon be looking for a King if Scotland becomes free. The C.V. is known to point out that Charles, although not bl...
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Funny story: Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotsmen can defend themselves if they gain their "Freedom" in the referendum and no nuclear weapons will be allowed to park in Lochs or they will be clamped or towed away, a famous Scotsman said this morning. The man, who is famous for being fe...
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Funny story: Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Scottish Independence will have an impact on the world's supply of shortbread, a former confectioner has warned in a stark comment on the Referendum debate. Belgian bakers would "cheer loudest" and "the forces of dark confectionery would simply l...
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Funny story: English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme

English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme

Cuts to the incredibly subsidised Welsh language soap Pobol y Cwumgogogoch have been announced. The weekly omnibus will be cut, along with one of its fifty weekday episodes, and it will be taken off air completely for a wonderful two weeks a year.
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Funny story: New Tick Species Discovered in Scottish Western Highlands

New Tick Species Discovered in Scottish Western Highlands

A significant new species of Blood Sucking Tick has been found embedded in Alex Salmon's elbow. Experts at the indigenous species unit under the Stone of Scone in Holyrood Palace described the discovery as "significant". It is thought to be t...
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Funny story: E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

After Scotland is removed from the U.K. and is pronounced independent, E.U. conservation rules will come into force to protect all Scottish insects, particularly the Highland Midge or Gnat. E.U. police will stand next to roadside Pipers with the powe...
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Funny story: Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

New E.U. Lake Monster regulations taking effect from referendum day 18th September may mean Loch Ness will have to be drained and the monster shortened by 2 metres to bring it in line with 22 other European Lake Monsters, a spokesperson from Brussels...
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