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Funny story: Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

With the General Election only weeks away, it is rumoured that the Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has sold the Great Seal of Scotland in order to boost the SNP election war-chest. Strictly speaking, the Great Seal of Scotland was abolis...
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Funny story: Scottish Labour Leader Jim Murphy's head size preventing him from leading normal life

Scottish Labour Leader Jim Murphy's head size preventing him from leading normal life

Jim Murphy, leader of the Scottish Labour Party, has admitted struggling with enlarged head syndrome which kicked in as a teenager and worsened as he got older. Jim's head accounts for 30% of his entire body weight and that it's becoming harder to st...
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Funny story: Sturgeon's botched sex-change op has astounding revelations for Scottish politics

Sturgeon's botched sex-change op has astounding revelations for Scottish politics

Our intrepid Weeki Leeks reporter had triumphed again with the following revelations. Thirty something years ago a young Scottish person named Nicholas Sturgeon had a sex change operation performed by Dr Herman Clitterman in his clandestine surgery...
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Funny story: Six foot snow drifts in Scotland yesterday as school janitor goes missing looking for missing pupil

Six foot snow drifts in Scotland yesterday as school janitor goes missing looking for missing pupil

It's March 2015 and snow has been falling over the north west of Scotland for over 48 hours hours now. Reports of drifts of six feet have been reported in high exposed areas and none so bad as the Isle of Siel, just south of Oban. It was just yest...
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Funny story: Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Scottish business tycoon Ralph Tweedie attempt to buy Scotland's largest bank for a pound and to relocate its entire operation to Iceland has now finally been put to rest. The idea was born out of the fear that Scotland would become independent and...
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Funny story: General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

Piers Morgan is not only one of the UK's most lovable and highly respected journalists; he has now been given an award from Alex Salmond for his sterling contributions to the Scottish Nationalist cause. Salmond groans: "Personally, when I say...
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Funny story: Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

In a dramatic finish, broadcast live on STV, a concoction of coarse oatmeal and mashed swede was awarded first prize in the Foul Porridge Of The Year 2015 Competition by the panel of Master Cook. The vile Scottish dish, submitted by food chemist a...
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Funny story: Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

A much documented Meteorite's course towards Earth ,may evidence Scottish Life on Mars or even Uranus. 'Scots have roots everywhere, including Outer Space', says Professor Hamish McFleming, Edinburgh. 'Yes, one could argue the Meteorite is Mart...
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Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...
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Funny story: Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Shetland MainlandTired of being "held down" by Scotland all these years, the Shetland Islands will vote on whether they will quit Scotland and join Norway. When Scotland had their vote about quitting England, it made us think about it. We sent a f...
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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
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Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...
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Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...
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Funny story: Ryder Cup Congratulations

Ryder Cup Congratulations

Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland. Yeah, right! The top players from several European nations played against the United States. Sure. As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow past...
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Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Referendum exit poll results have revealed that most Scots only realised that they were part of the U.K. when they read the referendum question. Traumatised voters were yesterday reported to be queuing up in their thousands for post traumatic str...
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Funny story: Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Weather forecaster Eli Kari Gjengedali broke a world record for the longest forecast by riding atop a tornado which swirled from Atla, through Harstad where the tornado built up strength. It then carried her through Bodø, down through Saltfjellet-Sv...
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Funny story: Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the 'Yes' vote on independe...
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Funny story: Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Latest opinion polls put the voting in Scotland at 50-50 and a dead heat is on the cards. Our Spoof man in Scotland Jamus McWiley has asked Alex Salmon, the Scottish Chief what he will do about this. 'We shall have a recount' he said 'and if the v...
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Hungarian President Beaten To Death By All Male Mob For Criticizing Internet Porn

Hungary's President was killed by a mob, angry over rumors that he thought internet porn "unbecoming." He has been replaced with a dictator and all of his political allies shot.
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