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Funny story: General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

Piers Morgan is not only one of the UK's most lovable and highly respected journalists; he has now been given an award from Alex Salmond for his sterling contributions to the Scottish Nationalist cause. Salmond groans: "Personally, when I say...
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Funny story: Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

In a dramatic finish, broadcast live on STV, a concoction of coarse oatmeal and mashed swede was awarded first prize in the Foul Porridge Of The Year 2015 Competition by the panel of Master Cook. The vile Scottish dish, submitted by food chemist a...
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Funny story: Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

A much documented Meteorite's course towards Earth ,may evidence Scottish Life on Mars or even Uranus. 'Scots have roots everywhere, including Outer Space', says Professor Hamish McFleming, Edinburgh. 'Yes, one could argue the Meteorite is Mart...
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Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...
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Funny story: Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Shetland MainlandTired of being "held down" by Scotland all these years, the Shetland Islands will vote on whether they will quit Scotland and join Norway. When Scotland had their vote about quitting England, it made us think about it. We sent a f...
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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
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Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...
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Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...
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Funny story: Ryder Cup Congratulations

Ryder Cup Congratulations

Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland. Yeah, right! The top players from several European nations played against the United States. Sure. As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow past...
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Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Referendum exit poll results have revealed that most Scots only realised that they were part of the U.K. when they read the referendum question. Traumatised voters were yesterday reported to be queuing up in their thousands for post traumatic str...
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Funny story: Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Weather forecaster Eli Kari Gjengedali broke a world record for the longest forecast by riding atop a tornado which swirled from Atla, through Harstad where the tornado built up strength. It then carried her through Bodø, down through Saltfjellet-Sv...
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Funny story: Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the 'Yes' vote on independe...
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Funny story: Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Latest opinion polls put the voting in Scotland at 50-50 and a dead heat is on the cards. Our Spoof man in Scotland Jamus McWiley has asked Alex Salmon, the Scottish Chief what he will do about this. 'We shall have a recount' he said 'and if the v...
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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...
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Funny story: Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
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Funny story: England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

The main UK party leaders are urging the English to campaign to have Scotland removed from the Union and to force Scottish people to stop calling themselves British. Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband will abandon their wee...
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Breaking News...

Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.
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