Nigel Farrago was having a rethink over his Gay Marriage policy after receiving a Glasgow Kiss in Scotland.
Blinded with emotion he declared: 'My welcome here has moved me considerably and in honour of my Scottish pals I've decided to break with t...
Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands.
The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of b...
REDONDO BEACH, California - Nina Dobrev has stated that she enjoys starring in The Vampire Diaries so much she would almost do it for free.
But of course her agent and personal manager both have other opinions.
Nina, 24, has been involved in a...
Following a successful stint on Comic Relief making impoverished africans laugh, the normally half-naked Prince Harry is to audition for the part of Harry Hill on ITVs successful tea-time comedy TV Burp.
Harry, who describes himself on twitter as...
After the Grampian Fire and Rescue Service (GFRS) chiefs removed Saltires from the grill of two fire appliances following complaints that they were offensive, Scottish football bosses are set to consider taking a similar stance with the national team...
CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...
The year is 2016. Scotland's ruling Chancellor, the newly moustachio'ed Alex Salmond is holding a massive rally in central Dundee. Thousands of jack-booted and kilted Scottish troops are goose-stepping through the square, saluting their glorious leader beneath enormous saltire flags.
There are few English people in the crowd, but outside they can be easily spotted from the St George's cross the...
Dear Constituents
I had a very hectic weekend, utterly spoilt by my wife insisting I attend the wedding of her niece to a man who hails from Edinburgh.
As we all know, Scots are well known for being careful with their money but how low they can stoop was brought home to me when I was given a handful of confetti to throw. It was dirty.
Whilst I waited in the car for the reception to f...
A deal setting out terms for a Scottish independence referendum was signed today by Prime Minister David Cameron and First Minister Alex Salmond. The settlement followed months of hard negotiations in which Mr. Salmond was finally forced to accept w...
Following last weeks extraordinary revelations made by Sean Connery and Alex Ferguson that the Scots invented the world and the wind, during their love-in with Andy Murray, we asked you yesterday how much you know about Scottish inventions? Here are the answers. How did you do??
Anaesthetics.
TRUE
Most doctors are Scots and still employ the technique of putting patients to sleep by droning...
Moldova 0 England 5
Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines.
I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova.
Scotland 0 Serbia 0
Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games.
He was wrong.
A controversial new theory has been unveiled to provide a new reason for the Pennines, the range of hills in the UK that are home to - at any one time - three thousand lost ramblers.
The mainstream theory is that Scotland banged into England, and...
Helloo. My name is Reverend Tougal McDougal, and I'm the resident vicar here at the Scottish Presbian Church of Kirkintilloch.
I am often asked, why are Scots so cheap? Why are we so sparing with oor money? I'm asked this at least a dozen times each service. People come to me and say, "Tougal! Can ye spare us a penny for an eighth of an ounce of porridge oats? Can ye lend us a boab for a bucket...
Following Monday's sprint onto the stage by former Prime Minister Gordon Brown to speak against Scottish independence at the International book festival in Edinburgh, Mr Brown said today that he would only consider running for gold at the 2016 Olympi...
International Friendlies
England 2 Italy 1
England gained revenge for their Euro 2012 with a victory over the Azurri. The match was played in the Wankdorf Stadium in Berne, Switzerland.
With a stadium name like that it's a surprise Wayne Rooney and John Terry weren't in the squad.
Scotland 3 Australia 1
The Scots beat the mighty Australians to move up to 3rd in the Cricket World Rankings.
Scotland's outspoken and opinionated First Minister, Alex Salmond, has courted controversy by insisting Scotland will field its own Olympic team at the 2016 Rio Games.
Salmond, who is convinced Scotland will have departed the UK by 2016, has insis...
Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg.
HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2
Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team.
Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0
Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...
Northern Premier League side Kendal United have signed a sponsorship deal with a company which makes fake beards.
(Metro)
Handy for the manager if he needs to sneak away without giving a press conference after a bad defeat.
Celtic goalkeeper Fraser Forster has likened HJK Helsinki's artificial surface, where the Scottish champions will perform on Wednesday, to playing in a car park.
(Sunday...