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Funny story: Scamatology Running Out of Third World Countries to Recruit In

Scamatology Running Out of Third World Countries to Recruit In

Nuku?alofa, Tonga According to the Tonga Police, in the last Third World outpost of the Cult of Scamatology, the cult has been ordered to leave the island immediately, and to release all the children they've managed to secrete away from the country. The cult has been unable to recruit anywhere in the world due to the unpopularity of their cult, the bad publicity given it by recent books, docume...
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Funny story: Scamatology Putting Out Call for New Celebrities Due to Exit of Jason Lee & Leah Remini

Scamatology Putting Out Call for New Celebrities Due to Exit of Jason Lee & Leah Remini

ClearlyCriminal, FL Scamatology has always used their celebrity members to promote the church. However, as they lose regular members (four times as many Britons claim they are Jedi Warriors, as opposed to Scamatology), so too are many of their celebr...
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Funny story: Scamatology to Merge With North Korea

Scamatology to Merge With North Korea

Clearlyclinical, FL North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un and Scamatology dictator David Makemerich (through a Scamatology spokeperson Karing Sow) made a joint announcement today when they confirmed the rumors that Scamatology will merge with North Korea...
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Funny story: Scamatology Head David Makemerich Asked to Star in Movie Blockbuster About Him

Scamatology Head David Makemerich Asked to Star in Movie Blockbuster About Him

Clearlydelusional, FL In startling movie news, Scamatology Head Cheese has purchased a large movie studio in the El Lay area to twin up with the other movie studio he bought a few years ago. The first movie announced by the new studio will be a b...
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Funny story: $camatology Leader Has Built Gigantic Ideal Org in North Korea

$camatology Leader Has Built Gigantic Ideal Org in North Korea

CLEARWATER, FL. The leader, or "pope" of $camatology has announced that a giant "Ideal Org," a giant church for the Church of $camatology, has been built by the inhabitants of one of the North Korean labor camps in North Korea's capital city, Pyongya...
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Funny story: Greta Van Susteren finds clarity

Greta Van Susteren finds clarity

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - Scientologist and Fox News "hostess with the mostest," Greta Van Susteren cleared the air recently by challenging her male colleagues' belief in the natural superiority of men over women. "Have these idiots lost their minds?...
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Funny story: John Travolta Given $8 Million Dollars for NOT Making Battlefield Earth II

John Travolta Given $8 Million Dollars for NOT Making Battlefield Earth II

Hollywood, CA. John Travolta was promised at least $8 million dollars from the Kickstarter website, organized by John Travolta's fans to NOT make Battlefield Earth II as originally threatened. One million of the dollars came from the first movi...
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Funny story: Donald Trump to Buy Church of Scientology

Donald Trump to Buy Church of Scientology

New York, NY Donald Trump has announced that he has become a devotee of Scientology, auditing with his solid gold e-meter and expelling body thetans from his hair by the millions. "I absolutely love the Church of Scientology, what with all the c...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber and Beliebers Join Church of Scientology

Justin Bieber and Beliebers Join Church of Scientology

Los Angeles, CAJustin Bieber announced today that he took a personality test from some people he saw on Wilshire Blvd. and now he is joining the Church of Scientology. He will bring his many fans, dubbed "Beliebers," with him into the cult. "I kno...
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Funny story: Church of Scientology to Combine With Sears & Roebuck

Church of Scientology to Combine With Sears & Roebuck

Clearwater, FL The Church of Scientology and Sears & Roebuck have both had hard times in the last few years. Scientology has been having lots of members quit, and Sears has been having many old customers quit. "We feel that since we are both...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God

Tom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God

Tom Cruise announced today that he was quitting the Church of Scientology to join the Children of God. The Children of God, who also call themselves Family International or Family of Love, have long been known as kind of a Christian sex cult, who be...
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Funny story: Dick Cheney Joins Church of Scientology

Dick Cheney Joins Church of Scientology

Omaha, NE It was announced today that former vice-president Dick Cheney has joined the Church of Scientology and will attend Scientology classes at the Celebrity Center of Casper, Wyoming. He will be its only member (the church has also been trying t...
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Funny story: Kim Jong-Un Wants Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to Join His Axis of Evil

Kim Jong-Un Wants Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to Join His Axis of Evil

Kim Jong-Un was confounded in his attempts to get Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to join his Axis of Evil. The diminutive dictator (who really knows how to put the 'dic' in dictator) has had 19 communications officers executed so far for not contacting Luth...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise has sense of smell removed; science says, "Smell is effeminate."

Tom Cruise has sense of smell removed; science says, "Smell is effeminate."

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Actor, producer, and World-renowned movie star Tom Cruise underwent a rare elective surgery last Thursday at Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles. Mr. Cruise had his sense of smell removed; this comes after the National Science Foundation m...
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Funny story: Heads of North Korea and Scientology Will Conduct Summit of Evil With Special Musical Guest Kanye West

Heads of North Korea and Scientology Will Conduct Summit of Evil With Special Musical Guest Kanye West

Clearwater, FL - Kim Jong Un, despot of North Korea, and David Miscavige, dictator of Scientology, and Kanye West will meet on the Winter Solstice, December 21, to discuss how to increase the evil quotient in the world today. They have invited s...
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Funny story: L. Ron Hubbard Returns, Threatens to Release Xenu Unless Paid 1 Trillion Dollars

L. Ron Hubbard Returns, Threatens to Release Xenu Unless Paid 1 Trillion Dollars

Clearwater, FLL.Ron Hubbard returned to a meat body today after traveling to Target Two and back following his death in 1986. As everyone in the world knows (except low-level Scientologists), Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy 75...
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Funny story: Head of Scientology Concert Rider

Head of Scientology Concert Rider

Before David Miscavige, the Pope of Scientology, can make an appearance at YOUR venue, the following must be adhered to: 1. Mr. Miscaviage must have two 16 course dinners waiting for him after his bloviating speech as he will be very hungry from using the teleprompter so much. He will choose which meal he feels like having and the other one should be tossed. Also, there should be rice and bea...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un, Ann Coulter, and Scientology Head David Miscaviage Form Axis of Evil

Kim Jong Un, Ann Coulter, and Scientology Head David Miscaviage Form Axis of Evil

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada-The Chief Computer Hacker and Head of Intelligence for Canada, Dudley Trudeau, announced today that he had intercepted details of a secret meeting between North Korean and Scientology dictators Kim Jong Un and David Miscaviage...
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Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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