To help you navigate through the murky black sludge that is the single dating life, here are some tips for the Vondrook reader on how to achieve the highest rate of success when going on a first date. And by "success," I meaning making out or getting laid.
•If your date says she likes a "take charge" type of guy, try to get the waiter or somebody to hear that as well, because that's consent, br...
Your Home, USA - Sources have reported that the child you have abandoned years ago is on your front step right now and is gearing up to knock on your door.
The child, who was conceived 13 years ago at a Red Roof Inn Motel out by the airport, has t...
David William Donald Cameron, the Coalition's leader, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, First Lord of the Treasury, Minister for the Civil Service and Leader of the Conservative Party, and Hater of the Poor, and representatives for Witney as its Member of Parliament (MP) - we thought the following anagrams were the most applicable of his name and nature, of those sent in to the Upper Denture...
We spoke with the author of this list, Inchcock Chambers, who only had time to tell us that he'd 'Tried to use only old/rare words for the letter definitions, and keep them applicable to MPs - he had to go home them, because they lock the cemetery gates early on a Thursday.
M Mancation: (Maiming, Mutilating of hopes)
E Exsibilation: (Collective hisses of disaproval
M Modernicide: Killer of mo...
Thanks to Mr H Ogwash, for giving his permission for us use his article 'What you need to become an MP!', originally published in the 'Upper Denture Gazette' last May.
Created and written while under the influence of anaesthetics and medications, in a haze of half conciousness and nurses adjusting his dressings, it was his first effort after having Cardiac surgery. He was to have had brain surg...
The following letter was received by the Nottingham City Council Parking Services, Loxley House, Station Street, Nottingham. NG2 3NG.
We could not help but see the bitter-sweet side to the letter, however, the Council Officials obviously could not.
I went into your wonderful city last Tuesday, in my 1969 Austin Allegro registration W234 TIT, and after three hours managed to find...
A computer algorithm capable of identifying stupidity has been developed by Israeli researchers.
The researchers analysed 666,000 Amazon and eBay reviews, people in line at the DMV, political candidates and several other sources of high-quotient...
Regular Man - A new, middle of the road kind of hero
Faster than a thing thats a bit slower than him!
Stronger than a cup of tea made by a blind grandmother!
Intelligent as a medium difficulty Sudoku puzzle-solver!
To the untrained, semi-skilled and last year at University eye, he is plain, simple Reg Mann, but his alter ego secretly goes around righting wrongs, holding tram doors...
On being told recently that "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit", I decided that it was time to do some investigative journalism, and find out whether or not this is true.
After visiting at least two humour sites, I have discovered that it is indeed true; but more than that, I can now definitively list the forms of wit in order. I have discounted "drama", whilst it is lower on the humour stakes...
Recently, I attended a "wake" and it gave me pause. While my life has been devoted to family and service, no small part of it has also been devoted to sarcasm, cynicism, and irony intermingled with equal portions of low- and high-brow humor.
It was announced today that the United States is to open a University of Irony, in Chatanooga Creek, Oklahoma.
Sarcasm has come out trumps for a seventh year running at the annual 'Lowest Form of Wit' awards show, beating off competition from irony, mockery and knock-knock jokes.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Name Calling Trump
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Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them
Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs
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