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Obama Kicked Out Of Kenya, Visa RescindedPresident Obama left Kenya today after its President grew exasperated with Obama's incessant harping about "gay rights" during a visit that was supposed to be about security cooperation and trade.
Pentagon "Concerned" After 300 Recruiting Stations Simultaneously BombedThe Pentagon today said it is "looking into" the bombing of over 300 Army recruiting stations. "We are wondering what the soldiers working at these centers did to provoke the explosions."
Missouri Refugees Flood KansasLawrence, KS - Over 50,000 Missourians crossed the border into Kansas, fleeing civil war and genocide in their own state.
The TrumpoliceDonald Trump took his political campaign on the offensive by hiring off-duty SWAT team members for his own personal mercenary militia to round up illegal aliens and arrest them on Trumped up charges.
Peruvian Tribe "Untouched by Civilization"A campaign has been launched to allow the recently discovered Peruvian tribe "untouched by civilization" to REMAIN UNTOUCHED BY CIVILIZATION as all of us 'touched' by 'civilization' are FUCKED UP.
Elon Musk Buys Space StationHigh tech industrialist and SpaceXXX CEO Elon Musk paid an unprecedented $47,000,000,000.00 to purchase the International Space Station and convert it into the very first interstellar whorehouse.
Big Apple - Rotten To The CoreAt the behest of Rudi Juliani NY Gov. Cuomo ordered the National Guard to cordon off Manhattan and quarantine the island to keep the insanity epidemic inside the Big Asshole - oops, I meant Big Apple.
Kill Shot From Sun Hits EarthA spectacular solar mass ejection hurled astronomical waves of thermonuclear radiation through space directly toward Earth and burned the planet into a charred cinder ball in just a matter of seconds.
New Supreme Court RulingIn a landmark decision to settle the frivolous lawsuit of Spoof v Goof the high court ruled in favor of the defense and Justice Anton Scalia pounded the plaintiff's head into the floor with his gavel.
Fiorina Takes Over MicrosoftCarly Fiorina dropped her political plans to take the reigns of Microsoft Corporation. Her first step as CEO will be to fire everyone, sell all the stocks, and embezzle billions to buy the presidency.
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