Detroit MI: Government Motors Corporation (GMC) automobile executives met to review the lackluster sales of their new environmentally friendly Shoebox line of cars, prior to next week's annual stockholders meeting.
Present at the closed door wor...
PORTER RANCH, California - Mikey Champ is the attorney representing the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer who has now been identified by the entire U.S. news media as Elizabeth "Lizzy" Macias, 32.
Macias, who describes herself as a devoted shop...
Following its credit rating downgrade, the Italian government has voted to sell off a number of national treasures, in order to reduce the nation's budget deficit.
In an emotional and at times heated debate in the Italian parliament building in Ro...
Bentonville, AK - Wal-Mart announced their largest junk sale of the season. The hope is that the sale will help them reach a sales goal of $150 billion in sales for this quarter.
"We love our products for their short life span and cheap prices."...
Advertising Watchdog, OffWatch, are to clamp down on misleading statistics in British Adverts, as they are being used to increasingly baffle UK consumers.
Claims such as "Up to 8Meg Broadband" and "87% of Women" are to be scrapped, and simpler, mo...
NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread.
LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack
If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...
Ambitious but seriously challenged in the brain department, Barney Blodgett aged 22 was midway through his trial week as Junior Pacific Sales Executive Director for the Blissful Bed & Divan Company when he found himself ringing the doorbell of the McBriar mansion at 324 Primrose Avenue.
Blodgett was armed with an appointment to see Miss Mary and Miss Theresa, two local teenagers, who that...
Wal Mart reported lower than expected sales for the Christmas season. They blame Democrats and 'political correctness' for all their woes.
'Economy, schmomony', said Walt Dimwitty, chief financial analyst for Wal Mart. 'The problem is with those d...
DFS have today revealed that their sale is going to end in a surprise announcement.
The sale, which has been running for the last 63 years and has made the company famous for it's TV commercials, has become a British institution.
Pablo Von Maus...
Nintendo have followed their customers desires for more keep fit applications for the Wii. This time they've come up with a great new idea called Wii Jog. This is a totally new concept to their average Wii user that missed out on the jogging from Wii...
Camden NJ: Sam Smith Jr. narrowly escaped from his house, only moments before it collapsed due to structure overload. No one was reported injured.
Since being downsized from his job at the Campbell's Tomato Soup Factory Sam has had lots of free ti...
United Kingdom Prime Minister Gordon Brown declared today that the biggest threats to humanity in the context of the modern world were not swine flu or Somali pirates but pesty telemarketers ringing people at inappropriate times.
Brown believes t...
WallyMart has announced that their "natural lambskin" condoms are being rolled back not only for a lower price but for a snugger, tighter fit.
"And", added the retail giant, "these boxes are labeled by code and not by size so even your cashier wo...
Washington D.C.-The eternal debate over guns or butter took a unexpected twist today, dashing the hopes of the butter-minded. The Pentagon's efforts to raise money by holding a bake sale has produced amazing results! At the end of a three day effort...
Sales of unwanted trash in UK stores are doing well, say experts, due principally to the Credit Crunch, the inability of some shops to carry on trading, and the fact that some Britons are just so fucking greedy, they will buy ANYTHING, so long as it'...
Shares in Britain's oldest retail department store, Woolworths, soared today as it was announced that the company would hold a massive 90% off sale starting Thursday in all its 815 outlets nationwide.
Woolies, as it is known by your mum, went into...
New York NY, June 2008: All of Madison Avenue was saddened to learn that Filbert "Flim" Flam had passed away at 93 years of age. His friends and acquaintances remembered Flim as Time Magazine's choice for Salesman of the Year in 2002.
SOFA, SO GOOD! - UK furniture giant, DFS (Dismal Furnishing Sales) have wisely decided not to hold a sale for this year and possibly the foreseeable future. Following an audit by their Financial Consultants, Snatchit...