Reportedly looking for alternate ways to still play the victim and stay in the press over the Kris Humphries breakup, Kim Kardashian's personal trainer Sven Glutsen says that the family doctor has recommended that Kim come in for a sexually transmitt...
The Center for Disease Control is investigating mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, who sometimes straps on a cape and claims to be Superman, of the planet Krypton, in connection with the spread of a new antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhea.
"T...
For the first time in over a decade there has been a drop in the number of new sexually transmitted infections in England, figures show.
The Health Protection Agency says increased screening for diseases like chlamydia has helped. For the first t...
Scores of guests at a holiday camp in Bognor Regis, Sussex, have come down with a dose of crabs.
The dose swept through the popular resort as it was packed with 5000 holidaymakers and staff.
Bosses have ordered an immediate deep cleaning and d...
The relationship between humans and vegetables is a long and complex one.
As many as 1 in 5 cucumbers are purchased for use not as food but as a sex toy. A fact that was possibly the best kept secret of the cucumber industry. However, the e-coli o...
Lady, cinema's famous Cocker Spaniel and international pet advocate, has weighed into the recent research findings that humans who sleep with their pets can catch their diseases.
Flanked by her rascally consort, Tramp, the voluptuous canine pant...
Tramp stamps are predicted to reduce STD's by 75% over the next 5 years thanks to a new barcoding system that can quickly pull up your new lover's STD history. The technology is still new, but the idea is spreading like herpes on a pirate ship.
They've shown up in stores, movie houses, Broadway theaters, schools, and judges' chambers. Apparently now the little critters have decided they want some culture. It was announced recently that bedbugs have been discovered in some isolated areas o...
While "I [Heart] Boobie" bracelets are catching a lot of flak from adults who say their teen children shouldn't be wearing them even if it is to promote a good cause, i.e. fighting breast cancer, there are now two other bracelets that are creating a...
Janine Lindemulder, the 42 year old who used to be paid to be filmed having sex, is madder than an Oscar winner with an unfaithful husband, and has come out swinging against Babydaddy Jesse James, allegedly because he has the good sense NOT to hand o...
The Sexually Transmitted Disease Control Administration (STDCA) today announced a new and more stringent set of standards for prophylactics designed for homosexuals.
Assistant to the Deputy Director of Human Penetration, Dr. Dooky Mouser, address...
New York, New York - Jeremy Piven's may have recovered from an alleged bout with mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi that got him out of a play he did not want to do, but now it seems he is having a relapse. At least on a New York theater st...
We've had Small Pox, We've had Bird Flu, We've had Swine Flu, but a new Sexually Transmitted Infection threatens to wipe those infections off the map,and may spell the end for mankind as we know it.
Rosea Pelmetum Explodum or Canvey Rose as it has...
The United Kingdom faces a frightening epidemic today, an epidemic of almost Biblical proportions.
As young people all over the country opened their GCSE results and planned their "Big Nights Out" to celebrate or commiserate, specialist Sexual He...
Dear Fr. Francois:
I am in a loveless marriage--well, it is loveless for me. My wife of 22 years is in love alright, with a donkey she worked with in Tijuana. Marissa claims their relationship has only been a "professional" relationship; but I wonder why she's always slipping away from Ocean Beach to meet Juan in Chula Vista?
I'm saddened to tell you that I hired a private investigator, Di...
Note to self:
I'd better be exceedingly careful with this chick! Daddy told me to never lose my head over a piece of ass, but, hey, she's hotter than black top on an August afternoon in central-Florida.
Dear Sister in Christ:
Thank you for returning my collar. I lost it while screwing in a new light bulb in the chanda...chanda...in the light fixture above where you put the dining room...
Writers from TheSpoof.com are threatening to take industrial action after perceived slights from the general public. The issue most commonly raised was that readers of Spoof stories were too unappreciative of the writers' efforts to bother clicking a...
Woody Allen is working on a sequel to his wildly popular sex pilgrimmage to Gaudi's cathedral: Vicki, Christina, Barcelona.
Allen the great film author is rumored to have gotten the idea while recovery from a case of syphilis while on location in...