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Funny story: Penicillin Ineffective For Computer Virus

Penicillin Ineffective For Computer Virus

Silicon Valley - Despite its well-known effectiveness against some viral diseases such as syphilis and bacterial infections caused by staphylococci and streptococci, Penicillin is completely ineffective against computer viral infections. This fa...
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Funny story: The Vice President Comes Out Against Disease Research

The Vice President Comes Out Against Disease Research

In a recent interview with MSNBC, Vice President Joe Biden made the startling proclamation that all disease research should be stopped, other than those related to curing sexually transmitted diseases. Biden claims that research targeting the cure...
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Funny story: Duck Dynasty Family Signs Up For Obamacare!

Duck Dynasty Family Signs Up For Obamacare!

The bearded and possibly inbred Robertson clan from "Duck Dynasty" signed up for Obamacare this morning with little to no trouble, says a family spokesperson. "It took like twenty minutes tops for the whole family!" said distant second cousin Red...
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Funny story: Derek Acorah speaks to the Duke of Wellington during spirit walk to his own toilet.

Derek Acorah speaks to the Duke of Wellington during spirit walk to his own toilet.

The television psychic claims he was randomly approached by 'The Duke' following an unintended 'Spirit Walk' during a restless night after a wine and cheese-fondue dinner party. After they had exchanged pleasantries, Wellington noticed the medium...
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Funny story: Kardashian's Doctor Warns of Asteroids around Kim's Uranus

Kardashian's Doctor Warns of Asteroids around Kim's Uranus

Reportedly looking for alternate ways to still play the victim and stay in the press over the Kris Humphries breakup, Kim Kardashian's personal trainer Sven Glutsen says that the family doctor has recommended that Kim come in for a sexually transmitt...
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Funny story: Superman blamed for super gonorrhea, Kent sought

Superman blamed for super gonorrhea, Kent sought

The Center for Disease Control is investigating mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, who sometimes straps on a cape and claims to be Superman, of the planet Krypton, in connection with the spread of a new antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhea. "T...
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Funny story: Calls for Sexually Transmitted Diseases to be floated on the stock market

Calls for Sexually Transmitted Diseases to be floated on the stock market

For the first time in over a decade there has been a drop in the number of new sexually transmitted infections in England, figures show. The Health Protection Agency says increased screening for diseases like chlamydia has helped. For the first t...
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Funny story: Dose of Crabs hits 200 at Bognor Holiday Resort

Dose of Crabs hits 200 at Bognor Holiday Resort

Scores of guests at a holiday camp in Bognor Regis, Sussex, have come down with a dose of crabs. The dose swept through the popular resort as it was packed with 5000 holidaymakers and staff. Bosses have ordered an immediate deep cleaning and d...
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Funny story: Women to put Condoms on Cucumbers

Women to put Condoms on Cucumbers

The relationship between humans and vegetables is a long and complex one. As many as 1 in 5 cucumbers are purchased for use not as food but as a sex toy. A fact that was possibly the best kept secret of the cucumber industry. However, the e-coli o...
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Funny story: Lady and The Tramp Slam Humans

Lady and The Tramp Slam Humans

Lady, cinema's famous Cocker Spaniel and international pet advocate, has weighed into the recent research findings that humans who sleep with their pets can catch their diseases. Flanked by her rascally consort, Tramp, the voluptuous canine pant...
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Funny story: Tramp Stamp Barcodes Slow Spread of STD's

Tramp Stamp Barcodes Slow Spread of STD's

Tramp stamps are predicted to reduce STD's by 75% over the next 5 years thanks to a new barcoding system that can quickly pull up your new lover's STD history. The technology is still new, but the idea is spreading like herpes on a pirate ship.
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Funny story: Bedbugs Go to the Opera in NYC

Bedbugs Go to the Opera in NYC

They've shown up in stores, movie houses, Broadway theaters, schools, and judges' chambers. Apparently now the little critters have decided they want some culture. It was announced recently that bedbugs have been discovered in some isolated areas o...
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Funny story: "Disease Free Pee-Pee" and "Wee-Wee" Bracelets Banned at High School

"Disease Free Pee-Pee" and "Wee-Wee" Bracelets Banned at High School

While "I [Heart] Boobie" bracelets are catching a lot of flak from adults who say their teen children shouldn't be wearing them even if it is to promote a good cause, i.e. fighting breast cancer, there are now two other bracelets that are creating a...
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Funny story: Janine Lindemulder: "I'll pee in a cup to prove I'm not on drugs." Cup: "I hallucinated for 16 hours afterward."

Janine Lindemulder: "I'll pee in a cup to prove I'm not on drugs." Cup: "I hallucinated for 16 hours afterward."

Janine Lindemulder, the 42 year old who used to be paid to be filmed having sex, is madder than an Oscar winner with an unfaithful husband, and has come out swinging against Babydaddy Jesse James, allegedly because he has the good sense NOT to hand o...
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Funny story: Gay Community to Get New Generation of Prophylactics

Gay Community to Get New Generation of Prophylactics

The Sexually Transmitted Disease Control Administration (STDCA) today announced a new and more stringent set of standards for prophylactics designed for homosexuals. Assistant to the Deputy Director of Human Penetration, Dr. Dooky Mouser, address...
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Funny story: Jeremy Piven Gets Mercury Poisoning All Over Again in Off-Broadway Parody Play

Jeremy Piven Gets Mercury Poisoning All Over Again in Off-Broadway Parody Play

New York, New York - Jeremy Piven's may have recovered from an alleged bout with mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi that got him out of a play he did not want to do, but now it seems he is having a relapse. At least on a New York theater st...
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Funny story: New STI Pandemic Threatens the World

New STI Pandemic Threatens the World

We've had Small Pox, We've had Bird Flu, We've had Swine Flu, but a new Sexually Transmitted Infection threatens to wipe those infections off the map,and may spell the end for mankind as we know it. Rosea Pelmetum Explodum or Canvey Rose as it has...
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Funny story: UK's STIs traced to single point of origin

UK's STIs traced to single point of origin

The United Kingdom faces a frightening epidemic today, an epidemic of almost Biblical proportions. As young people all over the country opened their GCSE results and planned their "Big Nights Out" to celebrate or commiserate, specialist Sexual He...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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