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Funny story:  Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...
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Funny story:  "Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."

"Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."

A friend told me about a week or so before we left that he couldn't quite believe it was actually happening and weren't we concerned about racism. I recall frowning with genuine confusion. It wasn't as though John had ever been one to over-dramatise, that always fell to his wife, Lucy, and even as we had this conversation, she was frantically talking to her mother, advising her where the 'Meni...
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Funny story:  First Scottish embassy to be sited at Fishmongers Hall

First Scottish embassy to be sited at Fishmongers Hall

Edinburgh - Police are probing reports that some very fishy-sounding people have taken over the Scottish government and are preparing to open the country's first embassy in a souped-up former aquarium at London Bridge. Fishmongers Hall is the SNP...
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Funny story:  SNP plot to top the Queen with Carpet Burns Night shagathon

SNP plot to top the Queen with Carpet Burns Night shagathon

Norfolk - A succession of Scottish Nationalist toy boys is lining up for a turn on the Sandringham shag pile according to reports. Tradition dictates representatives of Scotland's fittest under-21s gets a go at pleasuring the Queen to celebrate un...
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Funny story:  SNP To Introduce Posh Git Tax

SNP To Introduce Posh Git Tax

SNP leader Alex Salmond is set to announce a major new income generating measure as his first action since his party's landslide election victory last week. The First Minister is to announce what has already been identified as anti English legisl...
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Funny story:  Alex Salmond Dedicates SNP Triumph

Alex Salmond Dedicates SNP Triumph

Victorious SNP leader Alex Salmond has dedicated his party's stunning victory in last week's Holyrood elections to the Liberal Democrats' current boss Nick Clegg and Labour's former leader Gordon Brown. A delighted Salmond was quick to attribute p...
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Funny story:  SNP Deny Anti English Sentiment

SNP Deny Anti English Sentiment

Victorious SNP leader Alex Salmond has moved quickly to deny that there is any anti English bias in his party. The First Minister stated : "Despite our comprehensive victory in the elections which gave us a clear majority in Holyrood, I can rea...
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Funny story:  Alex Salmond To Star In West End

Alex Salmond To Star In West End

Triumphant Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond has been tipped to make his debut on the West End stage in a new production of "Alice In Wonderland". After seeing his party make major gains in the Scottish elections to such an extent that a...
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Funny story:  Alex Salmond Urged To Get Tougher

Alex Salmond Urged To Get Tougher

Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond has been criticised for not doing more to tackle anti social behaviour during live coverage of first minister's questions on February 24th, 2011. Angry viewers from all over the country phoned in to the...
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Funny story:  Scotland "Can't Afford Union"

Scotland "Can't Afford Union"

Scotland can no longer afford the union with the rest of the UK, according to Scottish Nationalist Party Finance Secretary John Swinney. He told the SNP conference in Perth that proposed UK government spending cuts could mean that the Scottish par...
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Funny story:  Alex Salmond the scales go in his favour

Alex Salmond the scales go in his favour

Scotland had it's own, very small and insignificant debate today. We cannot call it a leaders debate because Alex was the only leader taking part and the Tory was the only Tory MP in Scotland. So not much to choose from with him, is there? labour...
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Funny story:  Alternative view: The Welsh National Party

Alternative view: The Welsh National Party

Sian LLoyd the TV weather girl came out in support of the Welsh National Party, Plaid Cymru yesterday in a bid to help them win a seat in Ceredigion that they have a good chance of winning. Sian will need to be careful as evidence shows that Demo...
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Funny story:  The 'Other' Election Debate

The 'Other' Election Debate

The televised debate between Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg may have grabbed all the news, but it wasn't the only election debate going on. Disgruntled with not being invited, Nick Griffin of the British National Party, Alex Salmond of...
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Funny story:  The UK General Election explained

The UK General Election explained

What it isn't. It does not take place every four years in the middle of any month. It is planned but the PM keeps that a secret, even from the Queen. It occurs, when the incumbent Prime Minister decides he's had his chips or someone else decides f...
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Funny story:  William Wolfe dies leaving Scotland still full of Sheep

William Wolfe dies leaving Scotland still full of Sheep

William Wolfe, the former leader of the Scottish National Party, has died aged 86 in a hospital in Hamilton. Mr Wolfe was leader of the SNP in 1974 when they won 11 seats despite no television coverage or equal representation in the media. Hard as...
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Funny story:  BNP will have to be ENP eventually when SNP win

BNP will have to be ENP eventually when SNP win

The British National Party have been warned that they will probably have to change their name at some time in the future to The English National Party because if the Scottish National Party get enough votes they will declare independence for Scotland...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle Kicked Out Of Scotland

Susan Boyle Kicked Out Of Scotland

Susan Boyle, the defeated Scottish singing sensation who lost out in Saturday's Britain's Got Talent competition to Diversity, a group of 'streetdancers', has been told she is no longer welcome north of the border, and has been given 7 days to leave...
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Funny story:  SNP Want Spaceport

SNP Want Spaceport

The Scottish National Party, not universally renowned for its grasp on reality, and in thus keeping with tradition, have decided during their recent Parliamentary Christmas piss-up, that they want to have their own spaceport The party's Westminste...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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