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President Obama's Rutgers Speech: Let's Make Our Country One Giant Shit House

Funny story: President Obama's Rutgers Speech: Let's Make Our Country One Giant Shit House

BILLINGSGATE POST: Hello Rutgers Class of 2016. Today you join a long line of Scarlet Knights who are waiting patiently to use the restroom of your choice. When you came here four years ago, the last thing you envisioned is that today, you would still be waiting in the same line. During that time, many of you have changed your sexual designation more than once. (Waiting for TelePrompter...

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Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

Funny story: Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

New Brunswick, NJ - Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should be a hit with t...

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Ex-Rutgers Coach Mike Rice Makes An Amazing Comment Regarding Claire Crawford AKA The Houston Blogger

Funny story: Ex-Rutgers Coach Mike Rice Makes An Amazing Comment Regarding Claire Crawford AKA The Houston Blogger

CLEVELAND - The shamed former coach of the Rutgers basketball team, Mike "The Bully" Rice was in Cleveland to get some fishing in at Lake Erie. The disgraced coach who thought it was cute to push, shove, hit, kick, and throw basketballs at his col...

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Lots of U.S. Dads Would Love To Get A Hold of Ex-Rutgers Coach Mike "The Punk" Rice

Funny story: Lots of U.S. Dads Would Love To Get A Hold of Ex-Rutgers Coach Mike "The Punk" Rice

NEW YORK CITY - Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice has just been fired and rightly so. The poor excuse for an adult was videotaped abusing his players by pushing them, shoving them, hitting them, kicking them, and even tossing basketballs at them...

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Snooki Advises Toni Morrison to Get a Pouf

Funny story: Snooki Advises Toni Morrison to Get a Pouf

Don't count Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, "The Jersey Shore" star, among those who were shocked to learn that she was paid $32,000 for her talk at Rutgers University, while famous author Toni Morrison is being paid only $30,000 to give the Rutgers commenc...

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Lawsuit against Imus by Rutgers basketball team member a slam-dunk; or he must prove his (no one else's) comments true

Funny story: Lawsuit against Imus by Rutgers basketball team member a slam-dunk; or he must prove his (no one else's) comments true

New York, New York - No longer able to wrap himself up in the American flag or have his supporters muddy the waters with issues of free of speech or screaming a double standard to defend his racist and sexist comments against black members of Rutgers...

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Angelina Jolie Adopts Virginia Tech, Madonna Pissed, Bono To Play Rutgers Team, HRH Harry, Wills, Pope Expected

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Adopts Virginia Tech, Madonna Pissed, Bono To Play Rutgers Team, HRH Harry, Wills, Pope Expected

(Blacksburg, VA) -- United Nations Envoy for Children, Refugees, & Lip Gloss Angelina Jolie, never one to shy from the glare of the media spotlight, has adopted the entire student body of Virginia Tech. Madonna, pop star and celebrity adopter, expr...

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Don Imus Gets Job Offer From MC Hammer

Funny story: Don Imus Gets Job Offer From MC Hammer

Don Imus, the former radio shock jock who was fired for controversial remarks about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, has obtained a new job. The man most recently famous for talking about nappy headed hos will now write lyrics abo...

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Post Apology: Rutgers Coach Says Imus "Restores Her Faith," Sharpton, Jackson Sheepishly Apologize

Funny story: Post Apology: Rutgers Coach Says Imus "Restores Her Faith," Sharpton, Jackson Sheepishly Apologize

(New Brunswick, NJ) -- Rutgers Women's Basketball Coach Vivian Stringer last night stated that the meeting requested by Shock Jock blah blah to apologize for repeating something crude and offensive on air that kids of all races or none can hear 2...

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Angelina Jolie Adopts Rutgers Team, HRH Harry, Wills, Pope, Bono, Eeyore, Guliani, Obama, Clinton, Gore Expected As Things Heat Up

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Adopts Rutgers Team, HRH Harry, Wills, Pope, Bono, Eeyore, Guliani, Obama, Clinton, Gore Expected As Things Heat Up

(New Brunswick, NJ) -- A Jet-lagged and clearly lost or mislaid Angelina Jolie, UN Special Envoy for Children, Leather goods, & pushUP Bras admitted she was a "tad befuddled" by all the goings-on in New Jersey, North Carolina, and Darfur...

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President George Bush Says "Today, We Are All Nappy Headed Ho's"

Funny story: President George Bush Says "Today, We Are All Nappy Headed Ho's"

George W. Bush, President of the United States, made what he considers his most important speech today from the Oval Office. Bush did this on Friday, so as not to pre-empt coverage of his new favorite show, "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.

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Rutgers Accept New Name

The Rutgers women's basketball team met with radio talk show host Don Imus about insensitive comments about their team.

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Curse of Imus strikes NJ Governor Corzine

Funny story: Curse of Imus strikes NJ Governor Corzine

Camden, New Jersey - (Rotters): Former Goldman Sax CEO and incumbent New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine won't be walking normally for a good few months according to doctors treating him at Cooper University Hospital.

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Pope, Bush, Bin Laden, to Visit Rutgers

Funny story: Pope, Bush, Bin Laden, to Visit Rutgers

(Vatican City Internet Cafe) -- If I didn't believe this I wouldn't have believed it. His Holiness Pope Benedict XXVI is coming to Rutgers. President Bush is also coming to Rutgers. And Osama Bin Laden will also come to Rutgers.

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Rutgers Team Offers Opinion On Don Imus Controversy

Funny story: Rutgers Team Offers Opinion On Don Imus Controversy

The Rutgers University women's basketball team has finally opened their mouth's on the Don Imus controversy. After their loss in the national championship game to Tennessee, nationally syndicated radio DJ Imus referred to the women as "Nappy Headed...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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