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Funny satire stories about Roman Polanski

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Funny story: Scandalous stars for Sunday's Oscars Night

Scandalous stars for Sunday's Oscars Night

Los Angeles - Giant black holes 'as large as the Big Dipper' have appeared in two of Hollywood's most famous senior luminaries' birth charts as they ready to receive Lifetime Achievement Awards from the Oscars Committee. Woody Allen and Roman Pola...
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Funny story: Roman Polanski asked if he is Anita Dobson's dad

Roman Polanski asked if he is Anita Dobson's dad

Los Angeles - Decades of rumors have been swept aside as a formal DNA request seeks to verify if the Repulsion/Rosemary's Baby/Frantic director is indeed Ms Dobson's birth father. The former Eastenders actress and sometime Strictly Come Dancing co...
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Funny story: Shock , Dismay & Anguish in Hollywood as Suri Holmes Tweets: "Help, I've Fallen & Can't Get Up!"

Shock , Dismay & Anguish in Hollywood as Suri Holmes Tweets: "Help, I've Fallen & Can't Get Up!"

Paramedics rushed to the Californian Mansion of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes today after a panicked plea from Suri Holmes was picked up by one of her FaceBook friends on her social networking site. "Help, I've fallen whilst trying to get to the loo...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney joins Roman Polanski in Switzerland for degenerate bender

Wayne Rooney joins Roman Polanski in Switzerland for degenerate bender

England boss Fabio Capello says Wayne Rooney will play in Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier in Switzerland, despite allegations about his private life. In the mean time, it is rumoured that Roman Polanski will be putting the young striker through a gr...
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Funny story: Polanski is Back with the 'Hummus Factor'

Polanski is Back with the 'Hummus Factor'

The latest thriller extravaganza is an endie film, The 'Hummus Factor', that is well financed, written and directed by none other than Roman Polanski. There is some of Chinatown in this movie, but it is all new with thrills, all foreign setting, and...
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Funny story: Roman Polanski Has Been Asked To Please Return His 'Kids Choice Award' Which He Received in 1977

Roman Polanski Has Been Asked To Please Return His 'Kids Choice Award' Which He Received in 1977

HOLLYWOOD - The Kids Choice Award Committee has written child molester Roman Polanski, who admits doing what everyone said he did, and asked him to please return The Kids Choice Award he received in 1977. Myron Spawnowitz, spokesperson for the KCA...
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Funny story: Jesse James Has Somehow Convinced His Ex-Wife Sandra Bullock To Take Him Back - Wow! The Dude Deserves An Oscar For 'Best Actor'

Jesse James Has Somehow Convinced His Ex-Wife Sandra Bullock To Take Him Back - Wow! The Dude Deserves An Oscar For 'Best Actor'

AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock was sitting high on her mansion, Casa La Sandra, located just outside of Austin thinking about her future. She reportedly told an old high school friend, Bree Navarro that she misses Jesse so much she does not know if up is...
View 'Jesse James Has Somehow Convinced His Ex-Wife Sandra Bullock To Take Him Back - Wow! The Dude Deserves An Oscar For 'Best Actor''
Funny story: Polanski Attempts Sex with Miner

Polanski Attempts Sex with Miner

Swansea - Ronny Ronson, a 31 year old coal miner from Blaenavon has stepped forward and accused movie director Roman Polanski of attempting to have sex with him. "I was in Swansea for the weekend lifting a few jars at the Black Crowe when who shou...
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Funny story: Roman Polanski To Direct New Movie Version of 'Heidi'

Roman Polanski To Direct New Movie Version of 'Heidi'

Pedo, Switzerland-- Infamous director Roman Polanski is back behind the cameras and ready to begin a new movie about Heidi. The diminutive dork will direct a new movie about the legendary little Swiss girl. Mr. Polanski says the movie is "his gift...
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Funny story: Switzerland Thumbs Its Nose At America and Releases Roman Polanski - The U.S. Plans To Invade Switzerland

Switzerland Thumbs Its Nose At America and Releases Roman Polanski - The U.S. Plans To Invade Switzerland

ZURICH - Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, which is Swiss for chickensh*t, has announced that she has decided not to extradite child molester Roman Polanski to America, and to grant him his full freedom instead. Widner-Chump stated t...
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Funny story: Sex pest demands by US, no Swiss roll over on Roman

Sex pest demands by US, no Swiss roll over on Roman

Authorities in Switzerland have decided not to extradite film director Roman Polanski to the US to face sentencing just so as they can piss America off. A spokesperson from the Switzer Government said, 'This is great! A chance to tell the U, S of...
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Funny story: Paedo Polanski free after Pope sends Swiss judge glowing reference

Paedo Polanski free after Pope sends Swiss judge glowing reference

Switzerland - (Gnomes of Zurich Mess): A fantastic character reference from the Pope has persuaded the Swiss Justice (sic) Ministry to deny a US extradition warrant for convicted pervert Roman Polanski. The 76 year-old movie maker's personal fathe...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Hiding in France Like Roman Polanski

Lindsay Lohan Hiding in France Like Roman Polanski

Los Angeles, CA - You have to hand it to Lindsay Lohan. When the going gets tough, the Lohan gets high, and it is that very action that landed Lindsay Lohan in some seriously hot water yet again with a Beverly Hills Judge who ordered an arrest warran...
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Funny story: Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Fourteen year old Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque, apparently a little bewildered by all the media attention being lavished on her ample breasted person, has been invited to take a little time out at movie director Roman Polanski's Swiss...
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Funny story: Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Roman Polanski has won the Silver Swastika for best director at the Berlin Film Festival for his new film 'The Ghost Perver'. Polanski could not accept the award as he is under house arrest and fighting extradition to the USA over a conviction of...
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Funny story: Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Director Roman Polanski will leave jail Friday on $4.5 million dollars in bail ($1.5 million dollars for each bodily orifice through which he raped a 13 year old girl). Polanski will then be expected to remain at his Gstaad chalet to await word on w...
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Funny story: Swiss minaret ban sparks Hollywood backlash

Swiss minaret ban sparks Hollywood backlash

There's mounting anger in Hollywood tonight, as liberals, enraged by the decision of the Swiss to ban minarets, have announced they will take firm action against the 'rogue nation'. Already 5,000 celebrities have signed a petition demanding that Rom...
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Funny story: The Swiss To Release Roman Polanski On $4.5 Million Bail - Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

The Swiss To Release Roman Polanski On $4.5 Million Bail - Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

GENEVA - A Swiss court has granted accused child-molester Roman Polanski bail of $4.5 million. Roman Polanski, who had been denied bail due to the fact that he was a flight risk has reportedly given his word to the Swiss authorities that he will b...
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