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Funny satire stories about Roman Polanski

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Funny story:  Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Fourteen year old Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque, apparently a little bewildered by all the media attention being lavished on her ample breasted person, has been invited to take a little time out at movie director Roman Polanski's Swiss...
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Funny story:  Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Roman Polanski has won the Silver Swastika for best director at the Berlin Film Festival for his new film 'The Ghost Perver'. Polanski could not accept the award as he is under house arrest and fighting extradition to the USA over a conviction of...
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Funny story:  Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Director Roman Polanski will leave jail Friday on $4.5 million dollars in bail ($1.5 million dollars for each bodily orifice through which he raped a 13 year old girl). Polanski will then be expected to remain at his Gstaad chalet to await word on w...
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Funny story:  Swiss minaret ban sparks Hollywood backlash

Swiss minaret ban sparks Hollywood backlash

There's mounting anger in Hollywood tonight, as liberals, enraged by the decision of the Swiss to ban minarets, have announced they will take firm action against the 'rogue nation'. Already 5,000 celebrities have signed a petition demanding that Rom...
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Funny story:  The Swiss To Release Roman Polanski On $4.5 Million Bail - Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

The Swiss To Release Roman Polanski On $4.5 Million Bail - Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

GENEVA - A Swiss court has granted accused child-molester Roman Polanski bail of $4.5 million. Roman Polanski, who had been denied bail due to the fact that he was a flight risk has reportedly given his word to the Swiss authorities that he will b...
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Funny story:  The  2009, #1 Selling Scariest Halloween Trick or Treat Mask - Roman Polanski

The 2009, #1 Selling Scariest Halloween Trick or Treat Mask - Roman Polanski

WAPAKONETA, Ohio - The Great Grandma Buckeye Halloween Costume, Mask, and Outfit Company of Wapakoneta has just announced that the number one selling scariest Halloween Trick or Treat mask for 2009 is the Roman Polanski mask. Company President Sax...
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Funny story:  Tribunal to Producer, "Dude, you raped a kid and ran."

Tribunal to Producer, "Dude, you raped a kid and ran."

Geneva, Switzerland - A tribunal stared at the infamous movie producer for thirty seconds, after hearing his heartfelt pleas that he'd return - this time for sure - if he was released on bail. After the thirty seconds of looking at him incredulous...
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Funny story:  OctuMom Sells Photographs of Her Vagina To Roman Polanski

OctuMom Sells Photographs of Her Vagina To Roman Polanski

LA HABRA, California - OctuMom admitting that she is having financial problems has revealed that she has agreed to sell intimate nude photos of her crotch cookie to Roman Polanski who is presently incarcerated in a jail in Zurich, Switzerland. Pol...
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Funny story:  Miley Cyrus Says She Received An Email From Roman Polanski

Miley Cyrus Says She Received An Email From Roman Polanski

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has confessed to one of her best friends Tiffany Tiffacaloochi that she has received an email from Roman Polanski. The Tiffster, as her high school PE teacher calls her, asked Miley who the heck Roman Polanski is. Mil...
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Funny story:  Roman Polanski's Lawyer Fears If RoPo Is Not Released, He May Start Eating Himself

Roman Polanski's Lawyer Fears If RoPo Is Not Released, He May Start Eating Himself

ZURICH, Switzerland - Roman Polanski's court-appointed Swiss attorney Burgdorf Zingen has informed the news media that he is afraid that if his client in not released on bail, and soon, Polanski may start eating himself in protest. Zingen, said th...
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Funny story:  Polinski: The Little Bounder Claimed To Be 12!

Polinski: The Little Bounder Claimed To Be 12!

In Zurich, Switzerland yesterday, Director Roman Polinski defended his 1977 rape of a 13-year-old model by expressing his belief that she claimed she was only 12 at the time. "She seemed much too young for a 13-year-old, but then they are smarter...
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Funny story:  French farce as Polanski bum rap minister recalls trawling paedo fleshpots

French farce as Polanski bum rap minister recalls trawling paedo fleshpots

Paris - (Sacre Bleu!): The French culture minister who branded Roman Polanski's arrest a bum rap is in hiding at a government colonic irrigation whitewash facility. A TV debate about Frederic Mitterrand's pervy memoir of sex with young boys in Thi...
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Funny story:  Roman Polanski requests his bad-bad penis be kept in jail while he's free on bail.

Roman Polanski requests his bad-bad penis be kept in jail while he's free on bail.

Hoping to be free in time for celebrating France's Teen Week, Roman Polanski has offered the Swiss court a deal in exchange for his freedom. Quoting forensic scientist Gabriel Goodman, Polanski claims it was his penis that overtook his own common...
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Funny story:  The Swiss Government To Roman Polanski: Bail!? Are You Effen Kidding Us?

The Swiss Government To Roman Polanski: Bail!? Are You Effen Kidding Us?

ZURICH, Switzerland - The Swiss judge who is handling the Roman Polanski arrest case, Judge Ruti Schaffhausen, has come out and told Roman Polanski's attorney Burgdorf Zingen that not only is he denying his client bail, but he will also be imposing a...
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Funny story:  Amy Winehouse Reveals Roman Polanski's Secret

Amy Winehouse Reveals Roman Polanski's Secret

Roman Polanski, famous French-Polish film director of such noted movies as "Rosemary's Baby" has had a secret from most people for many years and that secret has been blabbed by none other than singer Amy Winehouse. In an exclusive interview by th...
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Funny story:  African Cannibal Tribal Chief Wants To Buy Roman Polanski

African Cannibal Tribal Chief Wants To Buy Roman Polanski

CHITUNGWIZA, Zimbabwe - One of the most popular cannibal tribal chiefs in Africa, Chief Boomboosha has emailed the Swiss authorities offering to buy Roman Polanski for $20. The Zimbabwean cannibal chief said that he wants to serve RoPo to his trib...
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Funny story:  Whoopi Goldbeg Confesses: Sex with Polanski and Letterman was a 'Joke-Joke'!

Whoopi Goldbeg Confesses: Sex with Polanski and Letterman was a 'Joke-Joke'!

Hollywood,CA/ Left Coast Entertainment Commentary - Comedian Whoopi Goldberg shocked her live TV audience on the daytime talk show, The View, with an admission of having sex with both Roman Polanski and David Letterman. Goldberg further confounde...
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Funny story:  Roman Polanski Announces He Will be Producing Off Broadway Play "Chamone" Which Will Debut in Thailand

Roman Polanski Announces He Will be Producing Off Broadway Play "Chamone" Which Will Debut in Thailand

Pattya,Thailand/ Jomtien Beach Literary Arts News - Roman Polanski, with nothing but time on his hands while he awaits to be freed from a Swiss jail for a 31 year old US rape conviction, announced today his long awaited Theater Presentation of "Cham...
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Nation Mourns Death of Serial Killer

"There's nothing on television, rotten movies, sex has gotten boring, tired of seeing youth with rings through their digits!", admits several at Jim's Bar & Girl.

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