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Funny story:  Queen gets robot arm

Queen gets robot arm

Her Majesty the Queen has been fitted with a prosthetic robot arm, to aid her in her duties of waving, knighting and ribbon-cutting. The Queen had used her right arm to wave regally for all of her 88 years, and described it recently as "bloody sor...
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Funny story:  Prince Philip's Back in Hospital

Prince Philip's Back in Hospital

The back of the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, was removed and transported to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, Automotive and Cybornetic Repair as a precaution today, Royal family sources revealed this morning. While details remain unclear about the spe...
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Funny story:  Inside the hospital of the future

Inside the hospital of the future

British hospitals are currently facing significant cuts and changes to the way they operate. However one hospital has managed the amazing feat of massively cutting costs while still exceeding government targets. I took a tour of Dorking's Idi Amin Hospital where the motto is "doctoring is in our blood". Instead of expensive human nurses tending to patients' needs, they have robot matrons on all...
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Funny story:  Elvis robot to be created

Elvis robot to be created

SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...
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Funny story:  Republican party unveils secret presidential candidate

Republican party unveils secret presidential candidate

After years of internal arguing over who should stand against Obama in the upcoming elections, the Republicans have finally come up with a candidate who should please everyone, but he's certainly not your average Joe. He's called Republi-bot, and...
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Funny story:  Refurbished 'Sex-Bots' Embarrass Secret Service

Refurbished 'Sex-Bots' Embarrass Secret Service

WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
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Funny story:  Apple To Launch iRobot On April 1st

Apple To Launch iRobot On April 1st

New York, NY-- The Apple Company will unveil its newest product in just a few weeks--the iRobot. The robot is based on the writings of Isaac Asimov and is a science-fiction dream come true. The new product is expected to revolutionize the world.
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Funny story:  New York Knicks Sensation Jeremy Lin A Rousing Success For Harvard Robotics

New York Knicks Sensation Jeremy Lin A Rousing Success For Harvard Robotics

CAMBRIDGE, MA--The NBA's newest rising star, Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks, is turning heads around the league with his impressive playmaking abilities and incredibly lifelike exoskeleton. Lin, who was activated on August 23, 1988, is the first A...
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Funny story:  "I was molested by a robot nun"

"I was molested by a robot nun"

A priest has come forward to talk about his recent sexual abuse at the "inhuman" hands of the Catholic Church. The Church has been trying to modernise itself to get away from its medieval practices and poor reputation. To do this, it recently ordered a million robot nuns to help out at churches throughout the world. The priest agreed to talk to me on the grounds that he remain anonymous. His na...
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Funny story:  News-inventing robot breaks - unusual headlines everywhere

News-inventing robot breaks - unusual headlines everywhere

After 30 years of good service inventing the news that we read every day, the NewsBot has begun to show its age. Strange stories have been appearing recently, but today's story about "Bert and Ernie will not marry" has stretched the public's belief t...
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Funny story:  The Robot Teamaker

The Robot Teamaker

Professor Robert De Bild likes robots - a lot! So much so that he has twice been arrested for having sex with the robots he creates. But he has managed to control his lust for long enough to build a robot which recently won the International Robotic Tea-making Contest in Tokyo, Japan. He explained, "It is one of the greatest challenges of modern robotics to build a robot which can make a cup of...
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Funny story:  England crash out of Robot World Cup

England crash out of Robot World Cup

"RoboCup 2011", the football World Cup for robots, is being held in Istanbul this month. Geeks and nerds from all over the world have gathered here to watch mechanical contraptions try to kick a ball with all the skill of the human Scotland team.
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Funny story:  R2D2 And C3PO To Marry

R2D2 And C3PO To Marry

Hollywood, CA-- The two robots from the 'Star Wars' epic are getting married next month in a spectacular Hollywood wedding! C3PO popped the question to his little friend R2D2, and the robot said 'sssppllloop'. The wedding will be held on direct...
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Funny story:  Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration

Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration

ED-209, the futuristic police Enforcement Droid designed and operated by OCP, today went berserk and killed a high ranking company executive. The board meeting was going well, when Senior President Dick Jones demonstrated his latest creation, the...
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Funny story:  Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

(Published 2016) LONDON URBEM - After the Great Media Crash of 2012, many studios are cutting back. ITV's Britain's Got Talent is no different. This year, the show will replace the judges on the panel with Panasonic JudgeBots, running Google's A...
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Funny story:  Robot Pitcher is Latest Trend in Major League Baseball

Robot Pitcher is Latest Trend in Major League Baseball

It had to happen. With robots now in education, medicine, space exploration, science, manufacturing, and many other fields, it was only a matter of time before they invaded professional sports. And the time is now! Okay, okay, the debut of a r...
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Funny story:  Future News: First Non-White, Non-Christian, Non-Human Prime Minister Elected

Future News: First Non-White, Non-Christian, Non-Human Prime Minister Elected

(Published 2015) LONDON - The world looked to Britain to see the results of the 2015 prime minsterial elections, where relative newcomer Presitron was elected. Representing the robot/machine class of the nation - from factory workers to Roombas.
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Funny story:  Robot developed by Koch Industries to Run as GOP Nominee in 2012!

Robot developed by Koch Industries to Run as GOP Nominee in 2012!

The wire services are reporting today that a robot will be the GOP nominee for president in 2012! The Koch brothers, long known as the principal backers of the conservatives in the GOP, have contracted with IBM to develop a robot similar to Watso...
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