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Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

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Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Twilight luminary Robert Pattinson is very rich. He is very rich because he has earned a lot of money. He has earned a lot of money because he has acted in fillums about sexy star-crossed teen vampires which offer those who don't want to use their im...

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Lindsay Lohan Caught In A Passionate Embrace With Rob Pattinson

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Caught In A Passionate Embrace With Rob Pattinson

HOLLYWOOD - There is no one in Tinsel Town who keeps the entertainment media jumping more than Lindsay Lohan. Lohan, who it appears has finally left her party girl boozing persona in the past, has tried to stop acting like the female version of Ju...

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Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

The big news here just about an hour ago is that somehow or other, actor Robert Pattison has cut off weiner but we are awaiting more news on the subject. OK, here's a spokeswoman for Pattinson. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Press, I am here to a...

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What Does Rob Pattinson See In Kathy Griffin?

Funny story: What Does Rob Pattinson See In Kathy Griffin?

HOLLYWOOD - LaLaLand is all abuzz with the recent romantic relationship between Rob Pattinson, 27, and Kathy Griffin, 53. Friends of Pattinson, who is 26 years younger than Griffin, have asked him what in the world he could possibly see in the red...

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Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Go Screaming, Fleeing House

Funny story: Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Go Screaming, Fleeing House

Rob Pattinson had just taken Kristen Stewart over the weekend to see a foreign film with subtitles, that was a horror movie. "I had never seen one of those", stated Pattinson, "and didn't expect much but I was very much surprised by the guy who pr...

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Nina Dobrev Nixes Ian Somerhalder's Idea of Matching Intimate Tattoos

Funny story: Nina Dobrev Nixes Ian Somerhalder's Idea of Matching Intimate Tattoos

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder of The Vampire Diaries were recently spotted together at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge in West Hollywood. The two were acting like lovebirds as Nina hand-fed Ian cashew nuts while he rubbed his left hand...

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Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Acting Strange

Funny story: Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Acting Strange

Word on the street is that Kristen Stewart is telling friends that her guy, Robert Pattinson, was acting strange and had done so before. Ms. Stewart began by telling friend, Taylor Lautner and he passed it on to others who wanted to help Pattinson...

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Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson Deny The Pregnant Rumors as Kristen Says The Baby Bump Was Photoshopped

Funny story: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson Deny The Pregnant Rumors as Kristen Says The Baby Bump Was Photoshopped

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - Kristen Stewart is presently on location in Shreveport, Louisiana, where she is shooting the Touch Rock - Lions Door motion picture, The Smirking Countess. K-Stew stars as Countess Cora DuFidellio and she has stated that wo...

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Kristen Stewart Denies She Started The Rumor About Being Pregnant With Rob Pattinson's Baby

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Denies She Started The Rumor About Being Pregnant With Rob Pattinson's Baby

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kristen Stewart was sitting in The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge, which is owned by David Arquette, when she was asked about ex-boyfriend Rob Pattinson. Kristen asked what specifically the reporter (Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors) wanted to...

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Kristen Stewart's Smirk Has Suddenly Turned Into A Smile

Funny story: Kristen Stewart's Smirk Has Suddenly Turned Into A Smile

VENICE BEACH, California - Close friends of Kristen Stewart are overjoyed to say that the Twilight Saga actress has done a complete about face mood wise. Kristen and former boyfriend Rob Pattinson were recenlty spotted at the world famous La Brea...

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Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Spotted At The La Brea Tar Pits

Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Spotted At The La Brea Tar Pits

LA BREA - In quite an amazing turn of events the infamous Twilight Saga couple Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were seen engaged in a bit of tonsil hockey at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. A source said that the two looked like a couple of h...

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Kristen Stewart Says She's Just About Gotten Over Rob Pattinson

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Says She's Just About Gotten Over Rob Pattinson

NEW YORK CITY - The girl known for having a perpetual smirk on her face, Kristen Stewart, made a guest appearance on The View. She told Jenny McCarthy that she has finally realized that her ex-boyfriend and fellow Twilight Saga actor, Rob Pattinso...

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NASCAR's Danica Patrick Seen Leaving Rob Pattinson's Malibu Beach House

MALIBU BEACH - Danica Patrick, who was recently divorced from Dr. Paul Hospenthal, has reportedly stated that she wants to give the single girl world a spin (no pun intended). Danica told Ambrose Appomattox with The Turnstile Review that she wants...

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Kristen Stewart Explains Her Perpetual Smirk

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Explains Her Perpetual Smirk

VENICE BEACH - Kristen Stewart says that the one question she has been asked more than any other is why in the world does she always have a smirk on her face. Stewart recently talked with Pia Confetti of Celebrity Globe and she told her that it's...

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Rob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did

Funny story: Rob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Rob Pattinson recently stated that now that the Twight Saga series is over he feels like a big weight has been taken off of his shoulders. He spoke with Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and told her that he felt like h...

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Katy Perry and Rob Pattinson Spotted At A Concert In Cucamonga

Funny story: Katy Perry and Rob Pattinson Spotted At A Concert In Cucamonga

CUCAMONGA - The Santa Ana Winds Arena was the scene of a recent concert featuring the all-girl country music band The Hoosegow Honeys. And sitting in the third row were Katy Perry, 28, and Rob Pattinson, 27. Many of the concert goers were shocked...

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Rob Pattinson Falls For The Gorgeously Ravishing Riley Keough, The Granddaughter of Elvis Presley

HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Twilight Saga series is singing some mighty happy tunes as he is dating Elvis Presley's beautifully stunning granddaughter Riley Keough. The two met in the frozen food section at a Tall Timbers Supermarket in Beverly Hi...

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Kristen Stewart Denies Any Involvement In The Tarzana Texting Sex Scandal

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Denies Any Involvement In The Tarzana Texting Sex Scandal

HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Twilight Saga series Kristen Stewart recently stated that she is still hoping that ex-boyfriend Rob Pattinson will realize how much he misses her and ask her to once again become his one and only girlfriend. Stewart rec...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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