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Funny satire stories about Rob Gronkowski

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Gronk Doubles His Pleasure

DATELINE: Patriots Country - Over at our country club on the bay, we all know the importance of having a motorboat in excellent condition for summer cruising. To our surprise, a rather busty woman (on the order of Anita Ekberg or Jayne Mansfield)...

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The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded

Funny story: The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded

FOXBORO, Massachcusetts - It is no secret that the New England Patriots organization has been quite embarrassed at the off-the-field antics of tight end Rob Gronkowski. An inside source spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and s...

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Gronk-a-Doodle-Doo

BEHIND THE BARN AT GILLETTE STADIUM- With Rob Gronkowski out for the third week of the season, the best we can hope for is an amusing TV commercial featuring Gronk. This week we took in Gronk as spokesperson for a local coffee and donut chain. It'...

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Tebow and Gronk On the Road to Perdition

Two stars in the making seem to have fizzled out simultaneously. We have seen the supernova eaten by the black hole. They were extremes of philosophy in their sport just three years ago. Today they are examples of the washed up and out at a tender...

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Let's Call the Whole Thing Off: Gronk Cancels Trip

Who got to Gronk? When the chips at Las Vegas casinos were ready to throw themselves at Gronk, he has bailed out of that trip to Hedonism. Wiser heads may have told the overgrown man-child it was time to learn that the Promised Land was not out...

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Gronk & Edelman Take Off for Vegas with Stowaways

Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman know how to plan a weekend. They threw open the door and seats on a private jet to Las Vegas to any fan with the wherewithal to pay for the privilege. Four fans will be allowed to party as a prep to Gronk's impend...

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Gronk's Backside is Against the Wall

How long has Gronk had a weak back? Oh, about a week back. After a career going arm-in-arm with fellow tight end Aaron Hernandez, Gronk appears to be going back-to-back with doctors. Now we have heard the rumor that the ill-fated superstar of t...

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Gronk Meets Mack the Knife

Like Typhoid Mary, Rob Gronkowski appears to be a walking infection. Next time you have an opportunity to kiss Gronk, you may want to walk away, better off unsatisfied. If you prefer to shake his hand, you may want to wear plastic gloves. Grant...

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Tebow and Gronk, Together at Last?

When you wish upon a star, Tim Tebow may be your answer. Fans from 31 other teams may now begin their wishing and hoping phase. The New York Jets have given Tim Tebow his outright release. This does not mean he is an orphan of the storm, but ma...

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Gronk Infected but not Contagious

With medical and personal privacy no longer in operation among New England fans, inquiring minds are demanding to know whether Rob Gronkowski has become a pariah. Reports from unknown sources are circulating that the big tight end and superstar da...

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Move Over, Farouk; Gronk is Bigger

After shocking fans with his partying antics, Rob Gronkowsi has taken the second hit for his Super Bowl party. The bar tab from Las Vegas did not stay in Vegas. It is now public information. How much booze can a tight end chug? Perhaps the high...

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Gronk in the Movies-Naked, Of Course!

When we thought of Patriot tight end Rob Gronkowski as having a career in movies, we did not think he was suited for porno (excuse us, we mean adult entertainment). Yet, he has been made an offer he can refuse-- to do a film where he bares all for...

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The Philosophy of Gronk from A to B

On a Boston radio show on station WEEI, Rob Gronkowski began to explain his sophisticated sense of the existential crisis facing all of us in the 21st century, following in the steps of Jean-Paul Satre and Albert Camus. On the vagaries of life and...

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If You Break His Arm, Is Gronk's Season Not Over?

New England's Patriots sent out Rob Gronkowski before his forearm was fully healed, and he reinjured it, forcing a second surgery in two months. He will miss the Super Bowl. Gronk wanted to play, but was that decision wisely allowed to be made at...

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Gronk Emerges from the Ashes

Looking wan and pale, tentative and skittish, superstar Patriot poster boy for fun, Rob Gronkowski was allowed out of the Belichick dungeon for the first time in weeks, only days before the last regular season game with the Miami Dolphins. Hours a...

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Tebow and Gronk Look Toward a New Year

Tim Tebow may need to do more praying. Tyrannosaurus Rex Ryan has bypassed the good Christian soldier in favor of a third-string backup. This would be inconsequential if Tebow did not have more experience, leading a team a year ago to the playo...

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Gronk's Colorful Life Outside the Lines of Football

For those fans that have thought Rob Gronkowski, the spiking machine of the New England Patriots, is some kind of animated creation, the truth is out there. Gronk has taken his cartoonish antics to the real world of anime where the line between li...

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Gronk and Lucic Yuck It Up on the Town

Milan Lucic of the Boston Bruins isn't playing hockey much this year-as he is locked out and forced to skate only in local rinks when he can find the ice time. After Thanksgiving he found plenty of ice at a local watering hole where the ice re...

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