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Funny satire stories about Rick Santorum

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Funny story: Santorum weighs in on marriage issues

Santorum weighs in on marriage issues

Tallahassee FL- Speaking at a local Toastmasters meeting, former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum made clear his position on the definition, and practice of marriage. "Marriage is, has been, and shall always be the sacred covenant b...
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Funny story: Romney To Buy Wife Ann a Clothes Washer for Mother's Day

Romney To Buy Wife Ann a Clothes Washer for Mother's Day

Likely Teapublican presidential candidate Mitt Romney revealed that he will be purchasing a new clothes washer for wife Ann this week. "I think it's the ideal gift for a stay-at-home mom like Ann," said Romney during a break from the campaign trail.
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Funny story: Political Facebook - Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich Discuss Mitt Romney

Political Facebook - Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich Discuss Mitt Romney

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Newt are you there? 9:01 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Yeah Rick. I just finished having a piece of toast with some expensive butter that I have imported from Holland once a week. 9:04 a.m. Rick Santorum: Wow! I betcha it's good. 9:07 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Rick, it is so darn good, I actually hate to eat it. 9:11 a.m. Rick Santorum: Say Newt I just want...
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Funny story: Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

When Rick Santororum bowed out of fhe presidential race yesterday, the media immediately began seeking a comment from Newt Gingrich. He was nowhere to be found! As the journalists frantically tried to find him, one enterprising reporter did a Google...
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Funny story: Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Sarah Palin

Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Sarah Palin

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Hi Rick. Well old pal it looks like I'm done. I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating "Old Mittens." 10:01 a.m. Rick Santorum: I hear you Newton. I am feeling the same way. I don't think I've been this disappointed since back in high school when I asked the head cheerleader, Sadie Sue Von Buttermilk to the prom and she told me that she wanted to...
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Funny story: Glenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate

Glenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate

POCATELLO, Idaho - Glenn Beck was in Pocatello visiting one of the largest potato museums in the world, The Spud Land Museum & Gift Shop. He was accompanied by his 4-year-old niece Daisy Parpaletti, who looks just like him except she's a lot smaller, she's a girl, and she does not cry anywhere near as much as her uncle. Beck was asked by Mistletoe Bulova, a very pretty reporter with The...
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Funny story: The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...
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Funny story: Santorum's "The First Book of Rick"

Santorum's "The First Book of Rick"

SCRANTON, PA --- A staffer to Republican Party presidential primary candidate, Rick Santorum thought it was only an Etch a Sketch he accidently left in a cab. Only, after entering the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company where his boss was to give a speech did he realize it was Santorum's entire 'playbook' for what he would do if elected President of the United States. Taxi driver, Julian Assange (no r...
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Funny story: The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

Ever since Mitt Romney spokesperson Eric "The Red" Fehrnstrom made his Etch A Sketch remark at a political campaign rally at a Pizza Gal Restaurant parking lot in Missoula, Montana, the name of the toy has been used more times than the words "Where's the clicker?" The following list was compiled by the verbiage gathering agency known as Did You Hear That, Inc. which is based in Kalamazoo, Michi...
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Funny story: Santorum to make Cubit official unit of measurement

Santorum to make Cubit official unit of measurement

A spokesperson for Rick Santorum has announced that if elected President, he intends to adopt the Biblical Cubit as the official unit of linear measurement for the United States. This change would encompass all U.S. Government Departments and Agenci...
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Funny story: Santorum losing support of virtually every American male since declaration of war on pornography

Santorum losing support of virtually every American male since declaration of war on pornography

HARFOLD, Vt. - Rick Santorum has all but lost the always-important 18 to 105 year old bracket of male votes this week regardless of party ties. Both Republican and Democratic, as well as Independent, Green, Tea Party, Communist males reacted in horro...
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Funny story: The Inside Scoop on Newt's Conversion!

The Inside Scoop on Newt's Conversion!

ATLANTA, GA (ABSNN) - Newt Gingrich believes he is "Behind the Eight Ball," according to close associates within his faltering, third-place campaign. The big stories the past three news cycles were Romney's exit from the Mormon faith and his convers...
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Funny story: Rick Santorum Switches Position And Favors Rights For Women

Rick Santorum Switches Position And Favors Rights For Women

Having had a long conversation with the ghost of Mitt Romney's female dog Seamus, Rick Santorum switched positions on women's rights and decided to support all rights for women including: birth control, abortion, family planning, Obama care, lipstick...
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Funny story: Santorum To Turn Washington Monument Into Crucifix

Santorum To Turn Washington Monument Into Crucifix

NEW YORK, NY Worldwide famous psychic Sylvia Browne appeared on "The Today Show" Monday morning and revealed Republican Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum's alarming plans for the Washington Monument. Santorum is allegedly planning on turning the Egy...
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Funny story: Rick Santorum embraces the Mormons in wake of Romney Excommunication

Rick Santorum embraces the Mormons in wake of Romney Excommunication

AMERICAN FORK, UTAH (ABSNN) - Quick to reap political hay in the wake of the stunning news that Mitt Romney was excommunicated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Mormons, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum began studies to co...
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Funny story: Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

RED BANK, NJ (AP) While stumping in New Jersey, Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) proposed new legislation that he says will simultaneously reduce abortions, pay off the national debt, and promote traditional marriage. The new law, titled "Life Begins a...
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Funny story: Sanatorium for US Presidency

Sanatorium for US Presidency

Rick Sanatorium has taken a major step towards the US Presidency with cackle wins in a couple of God fearing American states. This brings the time closer when America will be taken to a Sanatorium Utopia where effigies of Darwin will be burnt in cele...
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Funny story: Rick Santorum Concedes Snooki Pregnancy Good Argument for Contraceptives

Rick Santorum Concedes Snooki Pregnancy Good Argument for Contraceptives

Snooki, of Jersey Shore fame, has admitted to being pregnant with her boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, as the father. Shore roommate, Mike "The Situation" is, however, causing quite a stir with news that the baby may be his, sending shockwaves through Amer...
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NYPD snorts of derision at latest drug story

Apparently a 'baffled' FIT student found10 pounds of coke in her luggage and voluntarily turned it in

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