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Funny story:  China's  Xi Jinping Loves, Invites Rick Perry For State Visit

China's Xi Jinping Loves, Invites Rick Perry For State Visit

President Xi Jinping of the People's Republic of China has invited "The Most Honorable Governor Of The Most Christian State of Texas" to his country for "an elaborate state visit." He said that he admired the way that Texas had "put religion way...
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Funny story:  Voluptuous Boeing Spokeswoman Silences Media

Voluptuous Boeing Spokeswoman Silences Media

The machinists union in Washington rejected a long-term labor deal proposed by Boeing several weeks ago. The proposed pack was "take-back bargaining" and a very bad deal for the union. Without having access to machinists, the initial response of...
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Funny story:  Lone Star State Just Got Lonelier

Lone Star State Just Got Lonelier

Texas- Last night under the cover of darkness, the entire city of Austin slipped out of the state. Hank Perkins, a resident of the nearby town of Waco said he thought he heard something, but decided to wait until the morning to investigate. "W...
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Funny story:  Texas governor Rick Perry signs controversial anti-cleavage law

Texas governor Rick Perry signs controversial anti-cleavage law

AUSTIN, TX - Capping off nearly a month of intense media coverage and legislative gobbledygook, Gov. Rick Perry, R-Texas, signed a bill restricting cleavage on Friday. The measure effectively bans all cleavage in the state. Republicans have said t...
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Funny story:  Summer Awards and Festivities Announced

Summer Awards and Festivities Announced

The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements. The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (mot...
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Funny story:  Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...
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Funny story:  Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate. Both amendment...
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Funny story:  Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

To battle the always combative Planned Parenthood in Texas, Governor Rick Perry has asked the state legislature to fund what he is calling "Unplanned Parenthood," a new non-profit whose mission, Perry explained, is to "promote bein' a parent for all...
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Funny story:  U.S. Politicos: Where Are They Now?

U.S. Politicos: Where Are They Now?

Faded Spotlight Magazine Presents... U.S. POLITICOS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Mitt Romney - The old Flip-Flopper, who got trounced in the 2012 presidential election by President Barack Obama, is seriously considering moving down to Mexico and living with one of his cousins who owns a piƱata factory. Ron Paul - The 77-year-old congressman from Texas is living in the Lone Star state and trying t...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan: I Ain't Going To Rehab And No One Can Make Me Go!

Lindsay Lohan: I Ain't Going To Rehab And No One Can Make Me Go!

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan apparently thinks that she is the Queen of The World as she has thumbed her nose (again) at the California judicial system treating them as if they are simply a whole bunch of Moe's, Larry's, Curly's, and Lucy's. Lohan...
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Funny story:  Texas to Auction off WWII Bazookas

Texas to Auction off WWII Bazookas

Special to TP News - Republican Governor Rick Perry announced that 2,500 surplus World War II-era bazookas will be offered to the public in a special auction. These recoilless-rocket antitank weapons were used extensively against the Nazis during the...
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Funny story:  Margarita Named Top Drink and Top Female Name In The USA

Margarita Named Top Drink and Top Female Name In The USA

SAN ANTONIO - The United States Drinking Society Federation (USDSF) has just announced that the winner of The 2013 Best Drink in America is the Margarita. The name Margarita was also chosen as The Most Popular Female Name of The Year. USDSF spo...
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Funny story:  Eva Longoria Says She Has Political Urges

Eva Longoria Says She Has Political Urges

SAN ANTONIO - The former star of Desperate Housewives recently commented that she is seriously thinking about running for political office. The attractive, svelte actress, who was once married to San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker, told Political...
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Funny story:  Texas To Increase The Speed Limit Between San Antonio and Austin To 85 MPH!

Texas To Increase The Speed Limit Between San Antonio and Austin To 85 MPH!

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry has just announced his decision to allow the speed limit on the presently still under construction Highway 131, to be increased from 55 MPH to an amazing 85 MPH. The stretch of highway located between San Antonio and A...
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Funny story:  Republican Think Tank Names Rush Limbaugh #1 Imbecile!

Republican Think Tank Names Rush Limbaugh #1 Imbecile!

The top Republican think tank in Washington, C.E.S.S.P.O.O.L., has released its top five Imbeciles list, people whom it says have made significant contributions to the betterment of the Party's reputation for incessant idiocy. Number 5. Rand Paul...
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Funny story:  US Republican candidate to be decided by toss of coin

US Republican candidate to be decided by toss of coin

After months of to-ing and fro-ing, mud slinging and tv debates, the head honcho's in the Republican party have decided the fairest way to select a candidate for the Presidential nomination is the good ole fashion toss of a coin. A party insider t...
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Funny story:  Rick Perry Reveals The Real Reason Why He Dropped Out Of The GOP Presidential Race

Rick Perry Reveals The Real Reason Why He Dropped Out Of The GOP Presidential Race

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry, following close on the heels of Jon Huntsman has announced that he is dropping out of the Republican Presidential Race. Perry spoke from the backyard deck of his Texas mansion with political reporter Mistletoe Bulova...
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Funny story:  Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure. 11:20 a.m. Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife. 11:24 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Lo...
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True Facts From Snoops #1345

When alarmed, Oprah Winfrey can swell up to five times her normal size. She was taught this by Dr. Oz.

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