Special to TP News - Republican Governor Rick Perry announced that 2,500 surplus World War II-era bazookas will be offered to the public in a special auction. These recoilless-rocket antitank weapons were used extensively against the Nazis during the...
SAN ANTONIO - The United States Drinking Society Federation (USDSF) has just announced that the winner of The 2013 Best Drink in America is the Margarita.
The name Margarita was also chosen as The Most Popular Female Name of The Year.
USDSF spo...
SAN ANTONIO - The former star of Desperate Housewives recently commented that she is seriously thinking about running for political office.
The attractive, svelte actress, who was once married to San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker, told Political...
AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry has just announced his decision to allow the speed limit on the presently still under construction Highway 131, to be increased from 55 MPH to an amazing 85 MPH.
The stretch of highway located between San Antonio and A...
The top Republican think tank in Washington, C.E.S.S.P.O.O.L., has released its top five Imbeciles list, people whom it says have made significant contributions to the betterment of the Party's reputation for incessant idiocy.
Number 5. Rand Paul...
After months of to-ing and fro-ing, mud slinging and tv debates, the head honcho's in the Republican party have decided the fairest way to select a candidate for the Presidential nomination is the good ole fashion toss of a coin.
A party insider t...
AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry, following close on the heels of Jon Huntsman has announced that he is dropping out of the Republican Presidential Race.
Perry spoke from the backyard deck of his Texas mansion with political reporter Mistletoe Bulova...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK
Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure.
11:20 a.m.
Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife.
11:24 a.m.
Newt Gingrich: Lo...
COTTON BALLS, South Carolina - Rick Perry's "Good Old Boy Bus Tour" pulled into the history-rich town of Cotton Balls, South Carolina.
The town is noted for being the place where back on March 13, 1863, a regiment of Confederate cavalrymen led by...
In a nationally televised news conference, Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich revealed that his I.Q. is 20 points higher than renowned physicist Albert Einstein. "The American people know that I am basically a modest individual, but I fe...
Political writer Jonah Wolfson who writes for Politico and Newsweek says he is shocked to see this unexpected rise in the two candidates. Says Wolfson "Here is a Republican field of candidates that is the best looking we have had this entire century.
SIOUX CITY, Iowa - in a clear sign that all of the GOP political debates are starting to take a toll on Mitt Romney now comes word that he has bet Rick Perry $10,000 that Miley Cyrus got a boob job.
Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo has r...
NEW YORK CITY - Donald "The Hair Spray" Trump is just not accustomed to hearing the the little two-letter word "No."
But the billionaire with the "Hairdo From Hell" has just heard it and heard it five (5) times from five of the GOP presidential ca...
AUSTIN, Tx. - Rick Perry, who has recently released a slew of 30-second spots promoting his stance on several points, continues to anger Democrats, this time by attacking the child-friendly Muppets.
Entitled, "Those Rat-Bastard Heathen Communist M...
CARIBOU, Maine - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, brought his campaign bus tour to Caribou, Maine, the town famous for being the place where the cell phone term 'sexting' was first used.
Paul, 76, spoke to a crowd of 17 people who had gathered in th...
At last nights debate, the question of aid to Israel came sup. Rick Perry was the first to speak.
Perry: "Israel, is that where the Jews are from?"
The moderator confirmed this was true.
Perry: "First of all, I don't think we should send aid to anybody!" The Tea Party crowd cheered.
Perry: "Also, I don't think we should send aid to anybody who doesn't say who they are!" The crowd c...
Howdy! I'm Rick Perry, and I'm running for somethin' in Norway. Wait...that ain't quite right. I'm a dang ol' Texas boy, and I made these Gucci loafers...I mean, snake skin boots with a bear I caught with my own three hands. Confused? Me too.
You see, after I went and started forgettin' stuff at the last debate, ma' campaign advisers decided it might temporarily boost my poll numbers if I...
NEW YORK CITY - Rick Perry did what every man, woman, and child in America has done at one time or another; he forgot the third item in a three part series.
I recall my cousin Vinnie once telling me that his favorite candy bars were Three Musketee...