Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January.
"I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...
He said it would be rigged. He blatantly announced that the presidential election would be rigged. The squirrels supporting his presidential election promised the election would be rigged.
They would have poll monitors at various neighborhoods to...
Donald Trump today managed to offend all remaining members of the population in a broad far reaching speech with virtually no redeeming qualities.
"I hate you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you....(heavy breathing)and...
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oops! I'm running again
You'd better believe I'm in this to win
It might seem like a rush
But you know I'm serious
'Cause I grew up in Texas
Where you know we hate taxes.
Oh baby, baby
Oops, I'm running again
I played with your heart and refused Medicaid
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you know that I'm real
That I'm sent from a...
AUSTIN, Texas -- Gov. Rick Perry has announced that the Texas National Guard will be deployed to ferret out suspected ICEE terrorists who have moved across the border into the Lone Star State in an attempt to sabotage the diets of American children w...
Austin, Texas - Royal probate documents sealed under the Brits' Official Secrets Act are being subpoenaed in a Texas lawsuit alleging abuse of power by Governor Perry.
Supporters of Travis County District Attorney and convicted DUI dissembler Rose...
The New Colossus (for the Republican Party)
With apologies to Emma Lazarus
Just like the brazen ass of bad-hair fame
With chiseled face broadcast across the land,
Here at our US border gates shall stand
With border guards be-pistoled, in his name
Hater of exiles! From his ambitious flame
Glows unwelcome spite; his air-brushed looks command
The hate-filled folks who represent his brand...
Texas Gov Rick Perry said in an emotional interview today that his favorite Wal-Mart is being over-run with illegal children!
"I couldn't even get to the snack bar" a frustrated Perry proclaimed "it was like Korea in there"!
Concerns about the...
Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today explained how his states voter ID laws work.
"A state handgun license qualifies, but a state university identification card does not. Of course military ID's qualify too," stated the GOP governor.
The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...
AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome.
"Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during...
Sergei Aksyonov, the leader of the Crimea effort to secede from the Urkraine, who was installed as prime minister of Crimea after armed men seized the Parliament building last week, has had several conversations with Governor Rick Perry of Texas.
President Xi Jinping of the People's Republic of China has invited "The Most Honorable Governor Of The Most Christian State of Texas" to his country for "an elaborate state visit."
He said that he admired the way that Texas had "put religion way...
The machinists union in Washington rejected a long-term labor deal proposed by Boeing several weeks ago. The proposed pack was "take-back bargaining" and a very bad deal for the union.
Without having access to machinists, the initial response of...
Texas- Last night under the cover of darkness, the entire city of Austin slipped out of the state.
Hank Perkins, a resident of the nearby town of Waco said he thought he heard something, but decided to wait until the morning to investigate.
AUSTIN, TX - Capping off nearly a month of intense media coverage and legislative gobbledygook, Gov. Rick Perry, R-Texas, signed a bill restricting cleavage on Friday. The measure effectively bans all cleavage in the state.
Republicans have said t...
The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements.
The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (mot...
Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...
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