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Funny satire stories about Richard Branson

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What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

Funny story: What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...

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Virgin on the rocks

Funny story: Virgin on the rocks

Mojave Desert, California - A multi-billion dollar lawsuit threatens to shut down Richard Branson's massive ego following the Halloween vaporisation of Virgin InterGalactic's SpaceShipTwo. The rocket bombed shortly after take-off from a Californi...

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$100m Virgin InterGalactic Spaceship bombs

Funny story: $100m Virgin InterGalactic Spaceship bombs

Mojave Desert, California - Bankrolled by a bunch of Wall Street hedge fund Trekkies Richard Branson's SpaceShipTwo exploded during a test fright over the Mojave Desert this morning. The $100m craft blew up unexpectedly just daze after NASA's In...

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Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Funny story: Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Research has found that many of the UK's homeless people are more well-off than previously thought. Despite collecting just pennies in their day job filling our streets, some them took home as much as £3 million in their end of year bonuses. "Man...

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NASA predicts Richard Branson's space travel pipe dream will bomb

Funny story: NASA predicts Richard Branson's space travel pipe dream will bomb

Washington DC - Wannabe astronut Richard Branson is a complete charlatan whose daft Virgin Intergalactic Corp should be renamed Vergin' on the Ridiculous according to a NASA memo published this week. The world's premier space agency reckons decade...

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BA attempts to shag Virgin!

Funny story: BA attempts to shag Virgin!

BA and Virgin Airways have had many altercations and now the climate has reached "bitch fighting" because BA's boss has tipped that Branson and his airline will be shot down in 5 years. Instead of suing the BA boss, Sir Richard, in his typical brash...

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Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

Funny story: Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...

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V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

Celebrity musician and X-Factor Chav, sorry Judge, was fuming today after being told she and her entourage could not use the Olympic Zil lanes to get from Stafford to Chelmsford to perform her new hit single on stage. The cousin of Dappy blew a fu...

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Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

Funny story: Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

The Discovery Institute, the public and commercial face of the Intelligent Design Creationism movement have made a bold bid to buy the Vatican from the Catholic church. "We believe that the Catholic church has lost sight of what it was set up to a...

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'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

Funny story: 'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

Sir Richard Branson has bounced back again from the depths of adversity, following his recent disappointment, as his plans for 'The People's Princess of Hearts and Landmines' Giant Sir Richard Branson Log Flume Ride' in conjunction with the Princess...

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Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Funny story: Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Michael Davies the MP for Hull has revealed himself to be a lizard who has come from the future to stop the moment when an insane, heroin-fuelled, Richard Branson produces 50,000 angry robots to overthrow the earth. His secret was revealed when he...

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Air France salvage mission ends

Funny story: Air France salvage mission ends

The French have spent two years attempting to rescue Air France. They have failed. It started when one of their pilots greeted his co-pilot with a shout of 'Hi Jacques' and the ensuing riot meant that the flight never even got off the ground. From...

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Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

Funny story: Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

In a complete reversal of current business models, usually involving American investors like the Glazer family buying into Premiership football clubs in the hope of turning a fast buck, whilst taking over an operation which they have no idea whatsoev...

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Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Funny story: Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Londoner's were left in no doubt yesterday about Mayor Johnson's determination to see levels of carbon emissions reduced in the capital when he announced that horse drawn hansom cabs are to return to the streets of London this summer. The 5 year cont...

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Virgin rail introduce new service

Funny story: Virgin rail introduce new service

Richard Branson has introduced a new service for his rail company. Rolling out the red carpet at Euston station last night, Mr Branson gathered gave us this statement. "The new service if for passengers travelling to Europe and long haul journe...

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Dragon's Den new line up

Funny story: Dragon's Den new line up

The new line up for Dragon's Den 2011 has been revealed with a dramatic change to the cast of entrepreneurs. Richard Branson will lead the team but will limit his investments to anything that can be deflowered or is red. Gordon Brown will part...

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Branson Sex Change Shock

Funny story: Branson Sex Change Shock

Richard Branson has decided to change sex after his Virgin motor racing team scored 0 in the Grand Prix season. 'I took this bet' he explained 'that if we came last in the tournament I would take dramatic action. Now the time has come.' Richard...

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Virgin flies to where no man has been before

Funny story: Virgin flies to where no man has been before

He's flown to America, Asia, Australia and probably the North Poles. He's recently developed a rocket which will take him to the moon. Now Richard Branson is going where no Virgin Plane has ever gone before. A million people (Approximately o...

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