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Funny satire stories about Richard Branson

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Funny story:  Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...
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Funny story:  V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

Celebrity musician and X-Factor Chav, sorry Judge, was fuming today after being told she and her entourage could not use the Olympic Zil lanes to get from Stafford to Chelmsford to perform her new hit single on stage. The cousin of Dappy blew a fu...
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Funny story:  Elton John To Pilot Rocket To Mars

Elton John To Pilot Rocket To Mars

London, England-- Rock star Elton John is set to become a real life rocket man later this year when he zooms off to Mars. The legendary performer has teamed up with gazillionaire Richard Branson for the historic flight. Sir Elton is expected to bla...
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Funny story:  Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

The Discovery Institute, the public and commercial face of the Intelligent Design Creationism movement have made a bold bid to buy the Vatican from the Catholic church. "We believe that the Catholic church has lost sight of what it was set up to a...
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Funny story:  'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

Sir Richard Branson has bounced back again from the depths of adversity, following his recent disappointment, as his plans for 'The People's Princess of Hearts and Landmines' Giant Sir Richard Branson Log Flume Ride' in conjunction with the Princess...
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Funny story:  Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Michael Davies the MP for Hull has revealed himself to be a lizard who has come from the future to stop the moment when an insane, heroin-fuelled, Richard Branson produces 50,000 angry robots to overthrow the earth. His secret was revealed when he...
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Funny story:  Air France salvage mission ends

Air France salvage mission ends

The French have spent two years attempting to rescue Air France. They have failed. It started when one of their pilots greeted his co-pilot with a shout of 'Hi Jacques' and the ensuing riot meant that the flight never even got off the ground. From...
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Funny story:  Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

In a complete reversal of current business models, usually involving American investors like the Glazer family buying into Premiership football clubs in the hope of turning a fast buck, whilst taking over an operation which they have no idea whatsoev...
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Funny story:  Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Londoner's were left in no doubt yesterday about Mayor Johnson's determination to see levels of carbon emissions reduced in the capital when he announced that horse drawn hansom cabs are to return to the streets of London this summer. The 5 year cont...
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Funny story:  Virgin rail introduce new service

Virgin rail introduce new service

Richard Branson has introduced a new service for his rail company. Rolling out the red carpet at Euston station last night, Mr Branson gathered gave us this statement. "The new service if for passengers travelling to Europe and long haul journe...
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Funny story:  Dragon's Den new line up

Dragon's Den new line up

The new line up for Dragon's Den 2011 has been revealed with a dramatic change to the cast of entrepreneurs. Richard Branson will lead the team but will limit his investments to anything that can be deflowered or is red. Gordon Brown will part...
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Funny story:  Branson Sex Change Shock

Branson Sex Change Shock

Richard Branson has decided to change sex after his Virgin motor racing team scored 0 in the Grand Prix season. 'I took this bet' he explained 'that if we came last in the tournament I would take dramatic action. Now the time has come.' Richard...
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Funny story:  Virgin flies to where no man has been before

Virgin flies to where no man has been before

He's flown to America, Asia, Australia and probably the North Poles. He's recently developed a rocket which will take him to the moon. Now Richard Branson is going where no Virgin Plane has ever gone before. A million people (Approximately o...
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Funny story:  Richard Branson abandons kitesurfing English Channel crossing

Richard Branson abandons kitesurfing English Channel crossing

Sir Richard Branson abandoned his kitesurfing attempt to be the oldest man to cross the Englsh Channel kitesurfing. He blamed high winds, but the truth is, he hasn't quite got knack of the sport yet. He does need much more time training to perfec...
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Funny story:  Richard Branson denies he has visited Mars

Richard Branson denies he has visited Mars

British entrepreneur, Richard Branson, is strenuously denying rumours that he has visited Mars, instead claiming that his two year absence from the media spotlight was because he was working for his company, Virgin Holdings. Branson is one of the...
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Funny story:  Sir Richard Beardie to cure trains in UK as new train tzar

Sir Richard Beardie to cure trains in UK as new train tzar

With just months, weeks, days or even hours to the general election, Sir Richard Beardie has been drafted in as the UK's new Rail Tzar. In a move welcomed across party lines - although it must be said the zookeeper did warn in advance that the chi...
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Funny story:  Virgin Galactic Hijacked By Cylons!

Virgin Galactic Hijacked By Cylons!

The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the "12 Colonies". The Virgin Galactic was just prepar...
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Funny story:  Escaped Inmates Caught In Branson Attractions

Escaped Inmates Caught In Branson Attractions

Branson, MO-Four inmates who escaped from Oklahoma on Thursday were caught Friday in Branson. Because, if you ever escape from prison you should go directly to Branson, MO where dreams come true. The men were caught in pairs at different times of...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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