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Funny satire stories about Rhode Island

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Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Providence, RI, and Athens, Gr -- Usually, it's a case of finders keepers, losers weepers. Not this time, though. A "prominent collector" in Rhode Island (which, despite its name, is not actually an island) relinquished his claims to ownership...

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A Volcano Expert From Bombay, India Predicts That Rhode Island's Volcano Will Erupt On September 13, 2014

Funny story: A Volcano Expert From Bombay, India Predicts That Rhode Island's Volcano Will Erupt On September 13, 2014

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - The citizens of Providence and the state of Rhode Island have become quite alarmed after hearing the prediction of a volcano expert who lives in Bombay, India. The mayor of Providence received an email from a Mr. Primgar...

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A Volcano Has Just Been Discovered In Rhode Island

Funny story: A Volcano Has Just Been Discovered In Rhode Island

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - A group of scientific explorers from Yale University have just made an amazing discovery in the smallest state in the nation. The Yale team has just discovered an undiscovered volcano located about 29.7 miles west of the...

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Rhode Island Is Considering The Prohibiting of Motorcycle Traffic Between 1 PM and 8 AM

Funny story: Rhode Island Is Considering The Prohibiting of Motorcycle Traffic Between 1 PM and 8 AM

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - The Rhode Island State Senate is currently debating the matter of restricting motorcycle traffic within the state. Senator Pearl P. Dafty [R-Providence] informed the news media that Rhode Island is basically a very nice,...

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Rhode Island Places Strict Restrictions On Attack Hamsters

Funny story: Rhode Island Places Strict Restrictions On Attack Hamsters

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - According to recent government studies, the state of Rhode Island has more hamsters than any other state in the entire United States. Professor Saxton B. Funderburken, head of the Agriculture Department at Chicken of the...

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Mitt Romney Promises To Ban Sarah Palin From The Lower 48

Funny story: Mitt Romney Promises To Ban Sarah Palin From The Lower 48

PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - Mitt Romney was in Pawtucket at a meeting of The Smallest State in The Union Chapter of Undecided Voters. He was greeted by two blue-haired elderly women, one dishwater blonde elderly woman, and a woman who was clearly we...

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Romney demands the Dalai Lama be thrown out of US following his "fuck it" remark!

Funny story: Romney demands the Dalai Lama be thrown out of US following his "fuck it" remark!

BROWN UNIVERSITY, Rhode Island (ABSNN) - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama was thought to have told students who did not share his message of love and universal peace to "fuck off" or "fuck it," according to the closed-caption banner running beneath his v...

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Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

Funny story: Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

The scourge of domestic violence is not limited to traditional male-female or other intimate human relationships; it may occur between a person and reality itself - at least that's what 28-year-old Newport, Rhode Island resident Regina Bartwell belie...

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Mitt Romney Denies That He Used To Own A Nudist Colony

Funny story: Mitt Romney Denies That He Used To Own A Nudist Colony

NARRAGANSETT, Rhode Island - The former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney brought his "Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour" to the town that Peruvian poet Claudio Cuervo made famous in his "Ode To My Second Wife Mimosa's Mirthfully Me...

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"Connect-A-Cat" Cuts Connections With Connecticut

Funny story: "Connect-A-Cat" Cuts Connections With Connecticut

Booming feline friendship business Connect-A-Cat, founded in 1999 by Willimantic, Connecticut couple Herman and Eleanor Bellhousing, is set to cut its Connecticut connections, writes Business & Repetitive Sound Effects Editor, Allie T Ration. Connect-A-Cat was started in November 1999 after the Bellhousings befriended a stray Ginger Tom that had taken to sitting in their kitchen window and...

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Rhode Island Regional Airport Forced to Close After 'Patches' Kennedy Goes on Binge & Drinks all Deicer!

Funny story: Rhode Island Regional Airport Forced to Close After 'Patches' Kennedy Goes on Binge & Drinks all Deicer!

As if 18 " of snow wasn't enough to cause holiday havoc on the road in the northeast after a record snowfall over Christmas, the Rhode Island airport was forced to close even though plows had kept the runways clear after all the deicer went missing!...

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Adam Lambert Gives Birth To The Concert Concept of Tongue Diving

Funny story: Adam Lambert Gives Birth To The Concert Concept of Tongue Diving

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Modern day pop music icon Adam Lambert traveled to the smallest state in the nation and gave birth to a brand new concert concept which he calls LTD, or Lambert's Tongue Diving. As he sang his hit song "If I Had You And...

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Rhode Island Under Water, Patrick Kennedy Missing After Car Found Uspside Down Inside Flooded Bar!

Funny story: Rhode Island Under Water, Patrick Kennedy Missing After Car Found Uspside Down Inside Flooded Bar!

After 15" of unprecedented rain fall, the state of Rhode Island, aptly named 'The Ocean State' continues to search for survivors, including Representative Patrick "Patches" Kennedy, son of the late Senator Ted Kennedy. The troubled representative...

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Rhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from United States, Align itself with Zanzibar

Finally fed up with being classified as the America's smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With size in mi...

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Asteroid the Size of Rhode Island Promises to Not Be So Embarrassingly Small If It Comes Into Contact With Earth

Funny story: Asteroid the Size of Rhode Island Promises to Not Be So Embarrassingly Small If It Comes Into Contact With Earth

MILKY WAY - It was recently discovered by scientists that there is a 1 in 28,000 chance that an asteroid the size of Rhode Island can have a direct impact with earth within the next 30 years. While this may not sound like a big deal, mainly due...

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Madonna Records A Tribute Song To David Letterman

Funny story: Madonna Records A Tribute Song To David Letterman

BROOKLYN - Madonna, the self-proclaimed icon of icons, was in Brooklyn to inaugurate the brand new Madonna Material Girl Day Care Center. Madonna, also known as Mr. Madonna, for her hard line approach to business matters stated that there is no on...

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Rhode Island Governor Says: Rhode Island Is For Sale

Funny story: Rhode Island Governor Says: Rhode Island Is For Sale

PROVIDENCE - Rhode Island Governor Donnie Carcaluchi is saddened to have to say that due to the economic hardships that his state is facing he has no choice but to put the little state up for sale. At first the governor felt that closing down the...

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Osama Bin Laden Captured In Rhode Island

Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Captured In Rhode Island

PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - After years of evading capture Osama Bin Laden's flight has ended. He was captured by the Pawtucket Police Department as he sat in room 19 at a downtown Pawtucket Motel 6. Captain Payton Basilicatta of the PPD said tha...

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