WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an attempt to clear his name, Judge Brett Kavanaugh penned a column in the Wall Street Journal. He started by saying, “I am an independent, impartial judge that just so happens to hate Democrats. I hate them with the force and f...
Ordered to further investigate Mr. Kavanaugh over a six day period, the FBI is now up for the Sir Speedy DDI (“due diligence investigation”) Award for 2018.
The award is reputed for its “no-stone-unturned” and “no-keg-ignored” approach to Supreme...
For the Evangelicals Still Standing by Their Man
A mighty fortress is our Trump,
a bulwark ever flailing;
our Savior he amid the flood,
his moral ills prevailing.
For still Trump’s dauntless foes
do seek to work Him woe;
their craft and power are great,
and armed with cruel facts,
on earth are not their equals.
Did we in our own strength take pride,
our striving would be b...
In an almost-unprecedented event, the entirety of the United States seemingly forgot what it was that they were outraged about this morning. The phenomenon hasn’t been experienced since mid-September of 2013, and experts are hard at work to determine...
Special counsel Robert Mueller is reported close to another indictment—of the entire Republican Party as well as Mr. Trump.
The indictment will name every verifiable Republican-associated official and party representative in 2016.
Daily watch the Great White Id
Huffing and puffing away.
He’ll gladly tell you what he did
To madly disrupt your day.
He tweets his Id thoughts from his Throne—
His petty gripes and “So unfairs!”
Civility he now bemoans
And offers us instead despair.
His Little Ids feed off his spew
And swallow every lie he tweets.
His policies the poor now screws—
(The same who sport their cle...
The heads of the Republicans and Scamatology today held a joint press conference to announce their merger.
"We were so close in ideology already, it seemed like a good savings of resources to just combine" said the Scamatology head, Davey Makeafis...
Now that a thoroughly balanced and non-partisan Supreme Court has upheld Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban, I think it’s time that we amended the First Amendment to the Constitution. Hell, let’s just amend both parts of it, while we’re at it.
Elected Republican officials promised on Monday that if cities become submerged because of rising sea levels, they and their republican voting constituents will pay to repair the damage. But, how will we know who owes what?
Ryan explained the a...
Thou shalt have no other gods before me (except for me, the President).
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in or on one of my hotels, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth, especially sharks. (I’m not sure why I created them.) For I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, tweeting iniquities about your kids and their...
Young "incel" men, bitter and disillusioned by the discovery that they "can't get laid in a whorehouse", will soon be able to get laid for half price at any whorehouse in the state of Nevada, beginning this August.
"We're doing this as a public se...
In a kingdom long ago (OK, maybe not so long ago), there lived, in a thousand villages in the demesne, a happy and peaceful people who sent their children off to school each day, secure in the knowledge that their children were receiving the best education that a developed and tight-fisted kingdom could afford.
A few decades back (in this kingdom, remember, somewhat long ago), there arose, amon...
Robert Mueller, overheard talking to Billy Bush while exiting a Hollywood Access bus:
“I’m moving on him, and I’m succeeding.
I will try to fuck him. He’s married, you know—three times.
But I’m moving on him very heavily. In fact, I took hi...
CNN—President Trump, stopping off a Washington, D. C. Barnes and Noble for a pastry, saw a book in the bargain bin called a thesaurus and thought he’d buy it for Barron, who likes dinosaurs, especially sauropods.
On driving back to the White Hous...
Washington, D. C.—On being appointed National Security Advisor to President Trump, the moustache’s first action was to declare war on the rest of his face. The moustache’s enemy to the south, his mouth, is apparently on military alert against the inv...
(With apologies to the Beatles, and with sympathy for Melania)
What would you do if I screwed a porn star?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your eyes and I’ll tweet something wrong
And I’ll try not to lie through my teeth.
Oh, I get by with a little help from Putίn
Mmm, I can lie with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I’m going to try with a little help from Russians...
Washington, DC Republicans got Donald Trump to agree not to personally testify before Mueller. Knowing Trump's propensity to say the wrong thing, Republicans convinced Trump that he can put his best foot forward in a video, without having to actually...
Washington, D.C.--President Trump announced this week, at a press conference, "My proper pronouns are 'I, I,' and 'I' and 'me, me,' and me,'" and then came out, to the waiting press corps and the world, as a "Cisgender Anti-inclusive Racist-fluid Bi-...
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Hillary Promises to Send Her Private E-Mail Server to Ivanka to Use
White Lady Sees "Blackish"
Big Foot Apologizes For California Fires
Melania Makes Another Futile Attempt to Escape the White House
Trump Ghost-Writer Tony Schwartz Reveals What Trump Wanted to Call "Art of the Deal"
If attacked by a gang of clowns...
Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President
Straight-A Liberal Arts and Philosophy Graduate Asks Local Janitor If He Wants Fries With That
Middle Aged Man Still Convinced He's Putting Spin On Ball In Pong Video Game
Single mom wins Powerball lottery
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