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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
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Funny story: Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into...
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Funny story: Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Louisville - Republican Presidential candidate Rand Paul told Megyn Kelly of Fox News that he "loves bitches" and his recent string of testy interviews with women reporters were like "foreplay" and he hoped to later bone both of them. Paul told Kelly...
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Funny story: This Week's Headline Snidbits

This Week's Headline Snidbits

Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

HOUSTON, TX--Aspiring presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Ted Cruz has taken a page from left-leaning populist and one-time presidential candidate John Edwards, to draw attention to what he is calling the "two Americas," comprising, in his v...
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Funny story: Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

WASHINGTON, DC - The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program, saying the move showed "disintegration" in U.S. pol...
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Funny story: Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Washington DC - President Obama today called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to insult him on his looks, confirmed White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. "I can confirm that, in addition to continuing to work diligently finding areas und...
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Funny story: Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

DES MOINES, IA - It was reported today that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie refused to shower with other GOP hopefuls after the 2015 Freedom Summit hosted by Iowa Congressman Steve King. At the annual event several potential presidential candid...
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Funny story: For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
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Funny story: Republican Party to Take Over the Name "Democrats"

Republican Party to Take Over the Name "Democrats"

Washington, DC In a surprise move, the majority party, the Republicans, also known as the GOP, voted to take over the name "Democrats" and "Democratic Party." The party members of the party formerly known as the Democrats all voted against the measur...
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Funny story: GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

WASHINGTON, DC--The Republican Party has declared a Fatwa, or legal decree, against Pope Francis for his anti-capitalist statements over the last year and a half. The Fatwa came only days after the most recent attack on the controversial Pope, when S...
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Funny story: Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Washington, DC In a surprising development, the Republican Party, instead of denouncing the terrorist group, the Guardians of Peace, for terrorist threats, the Republicans have instead sued them in the World Court for copyright infringement for using...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday took his most definitive step yet toward a bid for the White House, announcing "I hope to become the second dumbest president in the history of our great nation." Bush said he plans t...
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Funny story: GOP Defends Torture

GOP Defends Torture

The GOP today released a statement in support of "enhanced interrogation" otherwise know as torture used by the CIA. The first six points the republicans use in their support are the most significant arguments and are presented here: 1) Just a...
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Funny story: Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, 'certain forces' within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its 'lame duck' elements. Operating in se...
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Funny story: No More Republican Senator "Undie Bundling"

No More Republican Senator "Undie Bundling"

President Obama signed an executive order today banning undie bundling by any Republican senator. "Republican senators have had their undies in a bundle for way too long. This practice has caused nothing buy gridlock and has to stop," stated the Pre...
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Funny story: RNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation

RNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation

It's been a mixed weekend for conservatives, fitting as they always seem to be mixed up. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Preibus held a press conference today to discuss the weekend's events. The conference started with Preibus prai...
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Funny story: Republicans Mull Over Ways to Get Revenge on Obama for Immigration Actions

Republicans Mull Over Ways to Get Revenge on Obama for Immigration Actions

Washington, DC The Republicans emerged last night from an all-night strategy meeting, bloodied and bruised. Many of the members were being chastised by Speaker John Boehner as they walked out for allowing Obama to get the better of them. Some...
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Showing page 1 (of 31 pages)
Breaking News...

New Jersey Gov Has New Promotion Gig

Chris Christie was named by the American Lard Assn as their new spokesperson. Lard Ass President Bud Gristel named the Gov after learning that Christie's favorite book is The Count of Mounds of Crisco
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