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Funny story: GOP Defends Torture

GOP Defends Torture

The GOP today released a statement in support of "enhanced interrogation" otherwise know as torture used by the CIA. The first six points the republicans use in their support are the most significant arguments and are presented here: 1) Just a...
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Funny story: Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, 'certain forces' within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its 'lame duck' elements. Operating in se...
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Funny story: Nebraskan Republicans Return to Iowan Corn Field, Claim They Won't Leave 'Til Immigration and Obamacare Are Stopped

Nebraskan Republicans Return to Iowan Corn Field, Claim They Won't Leave 'Til Immigration and Obamacare Are Stopped

The same Nebraskan Republican Caucus that recently stampeded to an Iowan farmer's cornfield near Council Bluff's Iowa has inexplicably decided to return. Carrying protest signs "We are the 3%", they have set up a tent city albeit a much higher qualit...
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Funny story: No More Republican Senator "Undie Bundling"

No More Republican Senator "Undie Bundling"

President Obama signed an executive order today banning undie bundling by any Republican senator. "Republican senators have had their undies in a bundle for way too long. This practice has caused nothing buy gridlock and has to stop," stated the Pre...
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Funny story: RNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation

RNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation

It's been a mixed weekend for conservatives, fitting as they always seem to be mixed up. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Preibus held a press conference today to discuss the weekend's events. The conference started with Preibus prai...
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Funny story: Republicans Mull Over Ways to Get Revenge on Obama for Immigration Actions

Republicans Mull Over Ways to Get Revenge on Obama for Immigration Actions

Washington, DC The Republicans emerged last night from an all-night strategy meeting, bloodied and bruised. Many of the members were being chastised by Speaker John Boehner as they walked out for allowing Obama to get the better of them. Some...
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Funny story: Nopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican

Nopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican

It came out on Facebook this week, at the website Addicting Information, that a Republican, Rusty DePass, replied to a post made on Facebook in 2009 by someone named Trey Walker. Walker's post was, "Just heard there is a gorilla loose at Riverbanks Zoo. Staff and visitors hiding. Full lockdown. Wow." Rusty Depass, a GOP activist and former chairman of the state elections commission in South Ca...
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Funny story: Congress Votes to End Social Security and Use Money Left to Build Monuments to Various Republican Presidents

Congress Votes to End Social Security and Use Money Left to Build Monuments to Various Republican Presidents

Washington, DC-Republican leaders of Congress said that since the middle class is pretty much gone anyways, we might as well end that socialistic social security. The excess money will be spent on various Presidential monuments, surprisingly, all of...
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Funny story: Republicans Will Discontinue Social Security and Use Money for Monuments to Republican Presidents

Republicans Will Discontinue Social Security and Use Money for Monuments to Republican Presidents

Washington, DC-Republicans today announced that Social Security will be discontinued and the money saved used to build memorials to U.S. Presidents-coincidentally enough all Republican presidents. The memorials will include: The Benjamin Harrison...
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Funny story: Republican Party to Reposition Themselves As Party of Sacrifice and Martyrdom

Republican Party to Reposition Themselves As Party of Sacrifice and Martyrdom

Washington, DC-Republican Party officials agreed that the party was full of sacrificing martyrs, who wish that they could be a positive force for change in the world but instead must stick to their mission of totally screwing over Obama until the end...
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Funny story: GOP celebrates control of congress for the next two years with never-saw-a-war-they-didn't-like policies

GOP celebrates control of congress for the next two years with never-saw-a-war-they-didn't-like policies

Eager to get to it, Republicans are already holding planning meetings on how to expand the nation's wars. Come January they will be in position to move their committees toward war for the new year, buttressed with the thinking of President George...
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Funny story: Republicans Declare Economic Crisis "Over"

Republicans Declare Economic Crisis "Over"

WASHINGTON, DC - Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee, declared the US economic crisis "over" today. His comments came after the latest economic indicators were released by the Labor Department. U.S. Employers added 214,00...
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Funny story: Republicans Have A Saul-like Epiphany The Day After Winning The Mid-term Elections.

Republicans Have A Saul-like Epiphany The Day After Winning The Mid-term Elections.

The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest to perse...
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Funny story: SCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!

SCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!

A shocking report has reached news desks throughout the country that many Republicans, especially those in great positions of responsibility, are hooked on Koch. Koch, which first made it appearance in the 40's, has become more virulent in recent...
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Funny story: Voters Sue Rupubican and Democratic Parties Charge: Stupidity!

Voters Sue Rupubican and Democratic Parties Charge: Stupidity!

Independent voters across America united, demanding an injection,(scratch that), injunction to stop November's polls on the grounds that neither party knows what the f-ing hell they are doing. John Farquar, leader of ASS, Americans Sick of Stupid...
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Funny story: Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

BOWLING GREEN, KY-Libertarian firebrand Rand Paul has apparently contracted Ebola from a virus that was carried all the way to Bowling Green, Kentucky, via La Nina, from Liberia. Paul contracted the deadly virus only days after telling Concord N...
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Funny story: Republicans Announce This Halloween Will Be Scariest Ever

Republicans Announce This Halloween Will Be Scariest Ever

FauX NEWS It was discovered by the Republican Party that Obama has planned the scariest Halloween by, starting with Devil's Night, will recite a litany of reforms and positive legislation that the Republicans have managed to block, stonewall, or outr...
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Funny story: "Thank God It's Monday" is the new Credo of Republican Party

"Thank God It's Monday" is the new Credo of Republican Party

The Republican Party has come out with a new spinoff, the "Thank God It's Monday" cry, which will be present for at least a little while, until they get something going in the way of good PR and also, put a muzzle on those hideous talking heads at FO...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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