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Funny story: Fox News Shelves Embarrassing Trump Interview

Fox News Shelves Embarrassing Trump Interview

As Donald Trump's presidential campaign continues to maintain its momentum, against all the laws of logic, an interview he gave to sultan of spin Sean Hannity has been pulled from schedules for fear of damaging his bid. The one on one, due to be b...
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Funny story: GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In what Dr. Amir Sudhardi, the colorectal surgeon who performed the operation, is calling one of the world's first crucilectomies, the GOP today had a huge crucifix removed from its rectum. The cross, which had been hobbling the Re...
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Funny story: Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

HOT SPRINGS, ARK--Donald Trump, speaking out of an aperture that he customarily uses for sitting, spoke, in a low bass voice, to his admirers at a campaign event in Arkansas, saying, "I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for...
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Funny story: GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

WASHINGTON, D. C.--Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrow, the GOP announced today that it is going to "consciously uncouple" from its long-time partner, Donald Trump. Ever since Trump announced his bid for the presidency in mid-June, the couple, frie...
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Funny story: If elected president, Bobby Jindal's first executive order to abolish all mirrors.

If elected president, Bobby Jindal's first executive order to abolish all mirrors.

Baton Rouge, LA - In a recent press conference, Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal opened his remarks by stating that "within the first 90 days of a Jindal administration, any and all mirrors in federal and public facilities will be removed and shat...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Calls for Mandatory Work Hours Increase

Jeb Bush Calls for Mandatory Work Hours Increase

Not only does Presidential Candidate Jeb Bush say that Americans need to work more hours in order to grow the struggling American economy, he also feels that they should be forced to work these extended hours. The Republican hopeful laid out his pla...
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Funny story: Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C.-This week in downtown Washington, two people were killed and seven injured in the quadrennial melee known as the Running of the Republicans. Rare in the Running of the Republicans, one bull was also killed when he was gored by a...
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Funny story: Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Limbaugh has turned over a new leaf and has started criticizing Republican candidates. Hey, that's a good thing, right? Well... maybe. Depends on how you look at it. After all, "Truth is what works," as one famous American famously said. Recently, on his viral (or at least highly virulent) radio show, "Rush the Magic White Boy," sinister allegations started circulating about Ted...
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Funny story: Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton set out on foot across Iowa yesterday from her Des Moine Hotel. Her goal: Find the little people everyone always talks about. "Well you don't know how people are until you actually meet them and I'm not going to step on those littl...
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Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...
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Funny story: Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot

Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot

Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, the Republican Party rolled out it's new robot candidate, Carly Fiorina. The unveiling of their newest, multi-million dollar invention indeed seemed to fool a lot of TV viewers into thinking it was human, but the folks over...
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Funny story: Republican Presidential Hopefuls Spar On Educational Policy At Iowa Pork and Corn Dinner

Republican Presidential Hopefuls Spar On Educational Policy At Iowa Pork and Corn Dinner

Dubuque, Iowa - Republican Presidential Candidates debated educational policy on a makeshift stage at a Holiday Inn Express breakfast room in Dubuque, Iowa as potential Iowa caucus voters feasted on corn and corn fed pork dishes. Texas Senator Te...
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Funny story: Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...
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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
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Funny story: Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into...
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Funny story: Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Louisville - Republican Presidential candidate Rand Paul told Megyn Kelly of Fox News that he "loves bitches" and his recent string of testy interviews with women reporters were like "foreplay" and he hoped to later bone both of them. Paul told Kelly...
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Westboro Ass-Tits

The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
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