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Funny story: Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton set out on foot across Iowa yesterday from her Des Moine Hotel. Her goal: Find the little people everyone always talks about. "Well you don't know how people are until you actually meet them and I'm not going to step on those littl...
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Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...
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Funny story: Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot

Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot

Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, the Republican Party rolled out it's new robot candidate, Carly Fiorina. The unveiling of their newest, multi-million dollar invention indeed seemed to fool a lot of TV viewers into thinking it was human, but the folks over...
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Funny story: Republican Presidential Hopefuls Spar On Educational Policy At Iowa Pork and Corn Dinner

Republican Presidential Hopefuls Spar On Educational Policy At Iowa Pork and Corn Dinner

Dubuque, Iowa - Republican Presidential Candidates debated educational policy on a makeshift stage at a Holiday Inn Express breakfast room in Dubuque, Iowa as potential Iowa caucus voters feasted on corn and corn fed pork dishes. Texas Senator Te...
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Funny story: Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...
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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
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Funny story: Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into...
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Funny story: Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Rand Paul Says He Respects Bitch Interviewers

Louisville - Republican Presidential candidate Rand Paul told Megyn Kelly of Fox News that he "loves bitches" and his recent string of testy interviews with women reporters were like "foreplay" and he hoped to later bone both of them. Paul told Kelly...
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Funny story: This Week's Headline Snidbits

This Week's Headline Snidbits

Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

HOUSTON, TX--Aspiring presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Ted Cruz has taken a page from left-leaning populist and one-time presidential candidate John Edwards, to draw attention to what he is calling the "two Americas," comprising, in his v...
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Funny story: Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

WASHINGTON, DC - The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program, saying the move showed "disintegration" in U.S. pol...
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Funny story: Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Washington DC - President Obama today called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to insult him on his looks, confirmed White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. "I can confirm that, in addition to continuing to work diligently finding areas und...
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Funny story: Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

DES MOINES, IA - It was reported today that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie refused to shower with other GOP hopefuls after the 2015 Freedom Summit hosted by Iowa Congressman Steve King. At the annual event several potential presidential candid...
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Funny story: For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
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Funny story: Republican Party to Take Over the Name "Democrats"

Republican Party to Take Over the Name "Democrats"

Washington, DC In a surprise move, the majority party, the Republicans, also known as the GOP, voted to take over the name "Democrats" and "Democratic Party." The party members of the party formerly known as the Democrats all voted against the measur...
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Funny story: GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

WASHINGTON, DC--The Republican Party has declared a Fatwa, or legal decree, against Pope Francis for his anti-capitalist statements over the last year and a half. The Fatwa came only days after the most recent attack on the controversial Pope, when S...
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Breaking News...

Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
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