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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Yes, Scotland Has No Bananas

Yes, Scotland Has No Bananas

Yes, Scotland has No bananas: 55% No bananas. As Katherine Hepburn once said about Fred Astaire, "Ginger Rogers made Fred more masculine." Like Ginger, Scotland made England more masculine. And as former Governor of Texas Ann Richards once pointed ou...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Up to three Dukes of Edinburgh will be operated by the private sector to cope with the increase in Diplomatic duties in any new Independent Scotland. it was announced by the Palace this morning. However, the process by which this might happen is not...
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Funny story: Shock as Actual Difference in Policy Announced

Shock as Actual Difference in Policy Announced

Labour leader and aardvark impersonator Ed Miliband has announced that the party will not offer a referendum on EU membership if they were to gain power, directly opposed to the current Governments promise of holding an In/Out referendum on the issue...
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Funny story: Cameron offers British sovereignty to mainland Argentina

Cameron offers British sovereignty to mainland Argentina

Cristina Kirchner is reported to have reacted furiously to a letter from David Cameron detailing his proposition for a "Yes/No" British sovereignty referendum on mainland Argentina. The letter, which was apparently intended as an April fool and a...
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Funny story: Bloomberg Bids To Become The Second Jewish Pope

Bloomberg Bids To Become The Second Jewish Pope

The Vatican -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. "St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the indestructible rock God chose to head his ch...
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Funny story: "Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."

"Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."

A friend told me about a week or so before we left that he couldn't quite believe it was actually happening and weren't we concerned about racism. I recall frowning with genuine confusion. It wasn't as though John had ever been one to over-dramatise, that always fell to his wife, Lucy, and even as we had this conversation, she was frantically talking to her mother, advising her where the 'Meni...
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Funny story: Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Three of the cities that held referendums on the introduction of elected mayors have so far rejected the idea: In Nottingham, 57.09% of voters decided against it. Comment: "It's perfectly understandable really. If the proletariat of Nottingham had to turn out to vote for a mayor, they would have less time for shoplifting, benefit claiming, and also they'd risk getting themselves shot by one o...
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Funny story: Salmond Will "Batter" MPs

Salmond Will "Batter" MPs

AS the debate on the Scottish referendum kicks off in earnest, SNP leader Alec "Fishy" Salmond has issued a stark warning to the Westminster government: "I'll batter those stuck up Tory English c***s!" In a speech to party faithful at the 300-Year...
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Funny story: "Are you a twat?" to be decided by referendum.

"Are you a twat?" to be decided by referendum.

Proponents of electoral reform were delighted today at the news that after wasting time with stuff no-one cared about like PR or AV or whatever, one of the real issues actually gripping the nation was to be decided by a plebiscite of the whole elect...
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Funny story: Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

(Published 2031) BIRMINGHAM URBEM - It is only one week before local elections in England, and the PR referendum. Both sides of the debate are gearing up for major campaigning for the battle. None more so than the No camp. However, political exper...
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Funny story: AV Voters Claim Harassment At Work

AV Voters Claim Harassment At Work

Employers all over the United Kingdom have been receiving complaints of harassment from staff who voted Lib Dem in last week's elections and "Yes" in the Alternative Vote referendum. Thousands of employees who made the wrong choice twice last Thur...
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Funny story: Future News: Scotland Seceeds from United Kingdom

Future News: Scotland Seceeds from United Kingdom

(Published 2014) EDINBURGH - A referendum by the Scottish National Party (SNP) has found out that 70% of Scotland want to become independent from the United Kingdom. However, Scotland has been fast-tracked to join the European Union (EU), and will...
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Funny story: Vicky Pollard Slammed As Cause For Collapse Of Yes Vote

Vicky Pollard Slammed As Cause For Collapse Of Yes Vote

In a sensational development grotesque comedy character, Vicky Pollard, from BBC hit sketch show, Little Britain, has been blamed by Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as the cause of the Yes campaign being comprehensively thrashed earlier this eveni...
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Funny story: Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Iceland has rejected for a second time a proposal to repay the Netherlands and UK for losses incurred after the collapse of the country's banking system. The result means that the 2 governments are still £3.5 billion out of pocket after already re...
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Funny story: Nick Clegg outlines plans for electoral reform

Nick Clegg outlines plans for electoral reform

Nick Clegg, deputy leader of the Con-Dems has been outlining his plans to reform the electoral system for the next general election. Before it is implemented, there will be a trial run using the referendum to decide whether to use the new voting syst...
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Funny story: Referendum To Decide On Referendum About Referendum Organised For Wednesday

Referendum To Decide On Referendum About Referendum Organised For Wednesday

Ministers are to meet in the House of Commons on Wednesday to try to decide whether or not they should hold a UK-wide referendum to decide whether or not they should hold a UK-wide referendum on the troublesome...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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