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Funny story: Sutton St James armed siege as cops fear another crazed 'Raoul Moat' incident

Sutton St James armed siege as cops fear another crazed 'Raoul Moat' incident

Lincolnshire - The Lincolnshire village is in emergency lockdown following reports of an armed siege and shots being fired at a police patrol car. "We could have another crazed Raoul Moat scenario on our hands," local cabbie Norbert Speeny tweeted...
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Funny story: Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Kingsthorpe, Northampton - (Deja Vu Mess): It's a spooky flashback to last July's Northumbria siege which saw cops take out pesky Geordie shooter Raoul Moat with a taser. And this afternoon Gazza - the man who very nearly prevented Moat's topping...
View 'Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm''
Funny story: Entrepreneur Plans Raoul Moat Theme Park

Entrepreneur Plans Raoul Moat Theme Park

Residents of Rothbury, Northumberland, are up in arms over plans for a new theme park, "Moatland." Raoul Moat shot himself near the village after murdering his former girlfriend and her boyfriend earlier this year. Since the incidents, a ghouli...
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Funny story: Santilli to perform second Moat autopsy

Santilli to perform second Moat autopsy

Northumbria - (ET Mess): The fabled alien pathologist shot to fame after conducting a series of high profile post mortems on tragic alien celebs such as Princess Diana and Anna Nicole Smith. This week he has been hired by Raoul Moat's family to pe...
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Funny story: Will Lindsay Lohan Go On The Run Like Raoul Moat?

Will Lindsay Lohan Go On The Run Like Raoul Moat?

Hollywood - Skoob News notoriously unreliable Hollywood 'Man On The Street', Philly Blunt, called our office this morning to alert us to rumours that troubled Bad Girls star Lindsay Lohan will fail to appear in Beverly Hills today to begin her 90 day...
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Funny story: Samantha Stobbart - Limited Sympathy For Raoul Moat's Ex As She Trousers Six Figure Sum

Samantha Stobbart - Limited Sympathy For Raoul Moat's Ex As She Trousers Six Figure Sum

It's a difficult question, yet one which really should be addressed: How do you get over the murderous rampage of a crazed gunman who sparked off the biggest manhunt in living memory? It could be that a six figure fee from a leading Sunday redtop...
View 'Samantha Stobbart - Limited Sympathy For Raoul Moat's Ex As She Trousers Six Figure Sum'
Funny story: Moat - doorman career continues

Moat - doorman career continues

Ghostly sources have revealed that the new St Peter of the dark side is none other than the former Newcastle night club bouncer and police fugitive Raoul Moat. "Lucifer is delighted to have such an experienced doorman manning the gates of hell", r...
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Funny story: Brain Dead Killer's Number 1 Fan says "I'm Off"

Brain Dead Killer's Number 1 Fan says "I'm Off"

Siobhan O'Dowd the Number One Fan of Psychotic Murdering Gunman Raoul MOAT, has defender her actions regarding her Facebook Site today, in an interview with the "Daily Balls" She said, "Well er like Moat he was er like a decent bloke and Dad and t...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole - past love revealed as Raoul Moat

Cheryl Cole - past love revealed as Raoul Moat

Geordie lass turned good, Cheryl Cole has been revealed as a former partner of madman Raoul Moat. Information from an exclusive source has confirmed that reports of her recent "illness" due to "malaria" was a rouse to protect her from the madmans mu...
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Funny story: Shot Moat PC Bears No Malice

Shot Moat PC Bears No Malice

The Policeman BLASTED in the face by crazed gunman Raoul Moat has told reporters that he bears no ill feeling towards the man that has left him blind for life. In an emotional bedside interview heroic cop, ex porn star, Ron Jeremy said: "His gi...
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Funny story: Libyan ship with Gazza aid docks in Newcastle

Libyan ship with Gazza aid docks in Newcastle

Tyne/Wear - (Rehab Mess): A Libyan ship carrying aid for the tormented former England footballer has docked in Newcastle. The emergency response vessel has been sent by Colonel Gaddafi after he heard how brave Gazza tried to offer succour (sic) to...
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Funny story: Cameron defends Raoul Moat's Facebook fan club

Cameron defends Raoul Moat's Facebook fan club

Gay prime minister David Cameron has defended facebooks fan page of cuddly geordie Raoul Moat saying "He has more bloody friends than me but he looks so cute" Speaking in the house of commons the PM has denied reports that a deal has been done with t...
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Funny story: SuBo, Bono and Sting headline new Raoul Moat tribute album

SuBo, Bono and Sting headline new Raoul Moat tribute album

Susan Boyle and veteran rockers U2 are said to be delighted to perform on a new concept album dedicated to the memory of Raoul Moat. The album entitled The Love Moat also includes contributions from Coldplay and Phil Collins, who will be singing f...
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Funny story: The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

HM Probation Service, London: As part of attempts to keep down the cost of the criminal justice system, the probation watchdog has suggested that Murders and other serious crimes committed by prisoners such as Raoul Moat, released early from jail, m...
View 'The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public'
Funny story: 'Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine

'Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine

Northumbria - (RIP Mess): The effigy of Northumbria's temporary police boss bears an uncanny resemblance to the red cloaked alien from the 1996 comic science fiction movie. "Except for the green eye shadow, of course," Rothbury local Mavis Clutch...
View ''Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine'
Funny story: As The Raoul Moat Tributes Pour In - PC David Rathband Faces Fight To Save His Sight

As The Raoul Moat Tributes Pour In - PC David Rathband Faces Fight To Save His Sight

As the Raoul Moat inquest opens today, and as the tributes and sympathy messages pour in, some commentators have requested to the news media that amidst all the recriminations, accusations, and outpourings of grief for the unfortunate gunman that per...
View 'As The Raoul Moat Tributes Pour In - PC David Rathband Faces Fight To Save His Sight'
Funny story: Raoul Moat Tributes Flood In

Raoul Moat Tributes Flood In

Tributes have been flooding in praising deceased gunman Raoul Moat, who died in controversial circumstances in the early hours of Saturday morning following a tense stand-off with armed police officers in Rothbury. One website recorded some 18,000...
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Funny story: Bury FC sign 'Raul'

Bury FC sign 'Raul'

Bury FC officials were left red faced this morning after a believed transfer coop for the Spanish striker Raul turned out to be a scam by a rogue football agent, and they had mistakenly signed Raoul Moat, the now dead Rambo style gunman, who has bein...
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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