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Funny story: Driver leaves train on line

Driver leaves train on line

Rail passengers were delayed this morning when the train driver abandoned his cab and walked off. The 7.05 London train from Hull Paragon station departed 30 mins late after GNER located a replacement driver. British Transport police were cal...
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Funny story: Why In The World Did "Hell On Wheels" Kill Off One Of Its Most Popular Characters?

Why In The World Did "Hell On Wheels" Kill Off One Of Its Most Popular Characters?

HOLLYWOOD - Reports are that AMC has received tons of letters, emails, text messages, tweets, and phone calls asking what in the world the writers of the hit western Hell On Wheels were thinking when they killed off one of the shows most well-liked a...
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Funny story: High speed rail link 3 ready by 2075

High speed rail link 3 ready by 2075

The government has given the green light to the HS3 project that will see trains travelling from London to Dublin in under 30 minutes. The all new trains will be fitted with custom made nuclear reactors that will pump out nearly 2 million horse po...
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Funny story: Pennines are to be moved back

Pennines are to be moved back

Only weeks into the project of moving the Pennines thirty miles east, it has been decided to move them back again. However, due to the nature of the move, the Pennines will have to be completely moved thirty miles east before moving them thirty miles...
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Funny story: The Pennines are to be moved

The Pennines are to be moved

The Pennines, a range of hills that run down the back bone of England, are to be moved thirty miles east to make room for a high speed rail link between Leeds and London. "High speed rail links need flat land," said engineer, Ray L Weigh. "The Pen...
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Funny story: High Speed Rail Link is delayed

High Speed Rail Link is delayed

The brand spanking new high speed rail link that will allow people in Manchester get to London in under an hour, even if they have to stop in Birmingham, has hit yet another snag. Before a train even rolls along the rails, there are no trains.
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Funny story: High Speed rail link hits its first problem

High Speed rail link hits its first problem

The proposed high speed rail link between London and Manchester, with the shortest possible stay in Birmingham as is technically feasible, has been given the green light to be built, despite opposition. However, protesters against the new rail lin...
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Funny story: High speed rail line only 30 years away

High speed rail line only 30 years away

The UK Government has today announced that a planned high speed train line between London and Birmingham will get the go ahead and will progress to the next stage in the planning process - the legal challenges. PM David Cameron said, "I can proudl...
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Funny story: Closed Lines to Re-Open

Closed Lines to Re-Open

Some years down the line, a decision this week has been taken to nip two problems in the bud and solve the crisis of overcrowded roads in the UK and get the entire benefit system shut down simultaneously. The current Minister of Transport announc...
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Funny story: Train Operators Apologise for Increase in Suicide Rates

Train Operators Apologise for Increase in Suicide Rates

The Government has announced today that following an increase in suicides across Britain's railways, train operators must now apologise to its passengers for the inconvenience it causes. Under the new Acts Of God Act, MPs have decreed that because...
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Funny story: Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly

Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly

In this age of political correctness and lack of patience for one's fellow man, things seem to have dipped to a new low. Barry Ludlow, 37, a high ranking executive in a city firm, was unceremoniously removed from a train on his way to work last Mo...
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Funny story: Rail Station Picks Up National Award

Rail Station Picks Up National Award

A local railway station has won a top award in a prestigious national competition. Travellers love Upper Appleby-cum-Lower-Diggshollow station so much they voted overwhelmingly to make it Best Local Station in the Our Railway Stations Are Really N...
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Funny story: Huddersfield to be moved south

Huddersfield to be moved south

The Metropolitan Borough of Kirklees in West Yorkshire has voted 10 to 2 in favour of moving Huddersfield closer to London. The vote comes after a long public consultation that was largely supportive of the proposal, although some residents of the t...
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Funny story: Industrial Action On Railways Imminent

Industrial Action On Railways Imminent

Rail travellers in the U.K. are steeling themselves for disruption with the news that Arriva Trains will be striking in Wales and parts of England next week. Although workers have been offered a 12% increase over the next 2 years, union sources cl...
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Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Purloined Budgerigar, Part Two

Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Purloined Budgerigar, Part Two

Throckmortons was packed. There was a sale of hats on. I fought my way through the crowd, determined to avoid being taken for a fool, and to stick to my mission - the purchase of two storage jars for fruit-bottling purposes. An hour later, alighting from the hansom at 221B Candlestick Maker Street with the new storage jars, a top hat, a sou'wester and a bowler, I was accosted by a thoroughly d...
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Funny story: Snowbound Man Waits For Train

Snowbound Man Waits For Train

A remarkable tale of survival against all the odds has emerged, amidst the absolute chaos that the UK's transport network has descended into. A local man, Arthur Crapper, has been found sitting in the waiting room of the snowbound railway station,...
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Funny story: The RMT Union schedules strike action for Royal Wedding

The RMT Union schedules strike action for Royal Wedding

RMT union leader Bob Crow has caused raw anger by declaring his intention to ballot members for strike action on the London Underground for 29th April 2011, the date of the Royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. A statement relea...
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Funny story: PM Prepares for Rail Bankruptcy

PM Prepares for Rail Bankruptcy

Following news yesterday that Network Rail and Jarvis Rail are being prosecuted over their roles at Potters Bar in 2002. The Government has been hastily preparing for the worst as it emerges that Network Rail could be subject to "Unlimited Fines" if...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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