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Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Funny story: Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - "Sure is a miracle he never got busted," a US Justice Department source tweeted as the news of the American wartime ambassador to the Caught of St James's canonisation spread. Joseph P Kennedy, paterfamilias of...

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Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

Funny story: Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

An ex-kitchen servant has told of daily beatings by the gin soaked Queen mother at Balmoral, the Royal Family's private super palace. The maid, Eileen Over is writing the story of her traumatic time as a kitchen maid at the Scottish palace. Beatin...

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Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

Funny story: Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

London - Government papers released this week show the sordid hatchet-faced cleric spawned a number of disgusting brats including one by the Queen Mother. That offspring became a shoo-in to the Savile family after Sister Mary Bonkers, a low-IQ Ca...

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Exhumation latest! Vatican 'accepted one billion lire' bung to inter Queen Mother in RIP Pope's basilica

Funny story: Exhumation latest! Vatican 'accepted one billion lire' bung to inter Queen Mother in RIP Pope's basilica

Rome - The Queen Mother's remains were secretly taken from the Transylvanian Crypt at Windsor Castle and reburied at the Vatican. The 2003 move saw her interred next to Hitler's Pope Pius XII with whom she had a son who became President George Bus...

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New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

Funny story: New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

London - A French maid toiling away at Lord Strathmore's stove has been outed as the birth mother of mad-as-a-hatter Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon who became the wife of King George VI. Marguerite Rodiere was herself the bastard spawn of the Rev Charles Ca...

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Royals praying Queen doesn't drop dead on April Fools

Funny story: Royals praying Queen doesn't drop dead on April Fools

Windsor - A service of thanksgiving for the mad old Queen Mum dropping dead 10 years ago poured cold water on predictions that Queen Elizabeth II will kick the bucket this Sunday. Apparently the psychotic centenarian's last actual words were "I'll...

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Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

Funny story: Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

The editor of one of the UK's weekly Irish community newspapers stunned readers this week by telling a correspondent, essentially, to belt up. A reader of the Irish Post, Anne Leacy, took exception to an article in the February 4 edition which ref...

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Palace old guard denied Madonna access to definitive Duchess book

Funny story: Palace old guard denied Madonna access to definitive Duchess book

Los Angeles - A Hollywood source claimed today Madonna was deliberately thwarted 'on copyright grounds' from having so much as a sneak peek at historical archives about the Duchess. "Someone in Windsor Castle is still pretty freaked out," royal co...

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Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

Funny story: Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

The reviled satanist and his favourite muse are top suspects in the unexplained London deaths of six men connected to the 1923 opening of the pharaoh's burial chamber in Luxor by Howard Carter. New research published this week details how a total...

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Royal Undies Rifled During Funeral

Funny story: Royal Undies Rifled During Funeral

London, UK: Following weeks of shocking revelations regarding phone hacking and illegal payments to police officers, it has now emerged that a News of the World "journalist" broke into Buckingham Palace during the Queen Mother's funeral in 2002, and...

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Prince Philip confesses to Prince Charles that he is really going to miss reading the News of the World

Funny story: Prince Philip confesses to Prince Charles that he is really going to miss reading the News of the World

Prince Philip is obviously upset at the demise of his beloved News of the World newspaper. He confessed, this morning, to Prince Charles that he is indeed going to miss reading the paper. He reminisced with Charles about the 'good old days' of Th...

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KGB hitwoman's gofer carjacked

Funny story: KGB hitwoman's gofer carjacked

London - (Karmic Mess): A man described as a former equerry to lardarse impostor the Queen Mother has had a spot of bother. Forty nine year-old Niall Hall was carjacked, stripped naked, robbed and abused by thugs who then cleaned out his bank acco...

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Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Funny story: Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Buried under accolades for her role in the King's Speech, the actress Helena Bonham Carter has now put the actress Helen Mirren on notice that her days are over as reigning queen of actresses portraying reigning queens. "Going forward, I deserve...

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Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Funny story: Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Queen Catherine the Queen Mother was being driven through the centre of London in her maroon ninety year old high top Rolls Royce yesterday, when she was spotted by pedestrians walking past street vendors selling flowers. They mobbed the car forc...

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97 UK descendants of clone cow

Funny story: 97 UK descendants of clone cow

London - (Reuterus & Mad Cow Disease Mess): A one-woman walking crime wave is how every security/intelligence agency around the world has dubbed her. "And now the putrid meat of her bloody relatives has totally contaminated the food chain!" d...

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Kray Twins were Queen Mother's sons say patio corpse cops

Funny story: Kray Twins were Queen Mother's sons say patio corpse cops

London - (Concrete Patio Mess): In their misspent youth they made Venables and Thompson seem like the angelic host. And for fifty years their reign of terror kept the fetid Queen Mother impersonator Viole(n)t Freeman sitting pretty in grace and fa...

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Statue Of Queen Mother Revealed By British Royal Family

Funny story: Statue Of Queen Mother Revealed By British Royal Family

In London today, Queen Elizabeth II has unveiled a new statue honoring her late mother, affectionately known as the Queen Mum or the Queen's Mumsey or Crazy Old Bat, according to whom you were asking and how sober he was at the time. Of course, if...

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Order of the Gutter memorial to the Third Reich's Queen Mother

Funny story: Order of the Gutter memorial to the Third Reich's Queen Mother

London - (Hellfire Club Mess): In a final act of appeasement of her Nazi forebear father Adolf Hitler Spoof dynastic matriarch Queen Elizabeth II unveiled a new memorial in The Mall today commemorating the late Queen Mother. The nine foot high bro...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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